Learning to Improvise… Chapter 6

by Katherine

Vin and Ezra rode silently. The tracker was content to enjoy simply being with his lover, letting the quiet settle his nerves, ease his mind and relax the left over tension. He knew they needed to talk, to discuss what had happened in town. They needed to work out how to deal with whatever the outcome would be in two days, where they would go if things went badly, under what conditions would they be able to stay. But he could sense Ezra’s desire to not deal with it just now. Can’t say I blame him. Don’t really want to talk right now either.

They could talk when they got to where they were headed. It wouldn’t take them long to get to where they were going since Chris’ ranch was more than half way there. Although, Vin seriously doubted Chris even knew the spot existed. The gunslinger wasn’t prone to exploring the countryside the same way Vin was wont to do.

Once out of sight of Chris’ cabin, they headed due north. Just over an hour later they were riding up a dry wash full of scrub brush and junipers. Hidden in this desolate, arid place was a small oasis. If one didn’t know it was there, the surrounding countryside would not reveal the presence of a small spring. Stunted ancient cottonwoods and weeping willows were the only indication a water source was nearby. The arched, almost weeping form of the willows seemed to be Mother Nature’s effort to further conceal the pool of cool water. The tiny spring fed pool was deep enough for Vin to submerge in during the wet season. During the summer, the pool was little more than knee deep. And Vin suspected that in some years it dried up entirely.

He’d found the spring shortly after settling in Four Corners. It was one of his favorite spots. Quiet, sheltered and secluded. It was a haven for when he needed to simply get away from town, but couldn’t really go too far. Vin brought Ezra to it not long after they became lovers, wanting to share it with him. To his surprise and delight the gambler had loved the spot just as much as he did. It had become a regular get away for them whenever they left town.

Ezra dismounted with a deep breath and quiet sigh. Vin shot him a questioning glance as he also dismounted. Catching Vin’s eye, the gambler’s expression turned solemn. "I will miss this spot."

"Don’t know for sure that we have to leave." Vin cautioned. He hoped JD and Nathan could talk sense into Josiah. Failing that, Chris and Buck might be able to sway him. "No point in borrowing trouble yet, Ez. We got two days."

The gambler quirked an eyebrow. "I have found it best to prepare for the worst, Cheri."

"We got two days." Vin reiterated.

"Two days." Ezra nodded. "Much could happen in that time."

Vin reached out to caress Ezra’s cheek with back of his hand, knuckles ghosting along the high cheekbone. He knew Ezra may have seemed casual about leaving Four Corners when he spoke to the others, making it sound easy, but he knew how much his lover wanted to stay, how attached he’d become to the town and its people. He shared the sentiment. "I’m sorry, Ez."

Ezra smiled sadly. "As am I."

Vin turned his hand to cup Ezra’s face. "Shoulda known better than ta kiss you in the tack room."

"And I should have known better than to allow it." Ezra turned his head to place a kiss in Vin’s palm. "We are both at fault there. It is done. Hindsight maybe be crystal clear, but is of no use when it comes to altering events."

The gambler’s expression shifted into something Vin couldn’t quite read. "I cannot help but wonder if we had told him….if we could have discussed—"

Vin halted Ezra’s words by placing one finger lightly against his lips. "We never planned ta tell any of them. The plan was to wait for them to ask us. Remember?"

Vin waited until Ezra nodded before continuing. Seeing he had his lover’s complete attention, Vin dropped his hand. "Rest o’ the boys and Nettie came ta us. Josiah’s the only one we ever talked about tellin’. And we were just waiting for the right time."

Vin grimaced. "Given how Josiah reacted…I’m not so sure that there would have been a right time, or right way. Kind o’ think he might have been upset no matter what."

Ezra frowned, brows furrowing slightly. Apprehensive green eyes searched blue. "Tell me honestly, do you not believe JD and Nathan might be able to sway Josiah?"

"Still think they might be able ta make him see reason." Vin held Ezra’s eyes easily not wanting the gambler to think he was lying about this. "Ain’t givin’ up hope there, Ez."

Vin sighed, realizing more of an explanation for his earlier comment was needed. "I’m just not sure that how Josiah found out really makes that much of a difference. Us tellin’ him instead o’…showin’ him, don’t mean he woulda accepted us with open arms."

"It might have lessened the shock."

"Yeah and if pigs had wings they might fly." Vin gave Ezra a stern look. "No ‘what if’, no ‘could have’, no ‘should have’. We deal with what did happen. Same with this as with everything else."

Ezra chuckled softly. He tilted his head and kissed Vin’s cheek. "Right you are." He straightened, shoulders square, expression resolute, the momentary uncertainty gone as if it had never been. "Let’s get settled, shall we? If you would see to the fire, I’ll see to the horses."

They would talk more once they had things set up and could get comfortable. Vin knew Ezra was probably planning to give him the easier tasks. But he didn’t argue. Would lose anyway. He’ll tell me I shouldn’t over do it. That Nate said to take it easy. Getting the life strangled out o’ ya is enough to wear a body out.

And he was tired. He’d been up at dawn for the morning patrol. Gone along to help Ezra teach the children. And ridden to Chris’ ranch, after the confrontation with Josiah. The last thing he wanted was to fight with Ezra over something as stupid as who did what to get them settled in.

So Vin let Ezra unsaddle the horses, and hobble them. Not that either animal was likely to stray very far, but it was better to be safe than sorry. While Ezra was doing that, Vin ducked under the overhanging branches of the largest willow. The foliage was dense enough to create a fairly solid canopy, almost like a tent.

He’d dug a small fire pit on an earlier visit and had dried wood waiting near by. Getting a small fire going took no time at all. The branches were thinner in this spot, easily letting the smoke pass through, but thick enough to break up the column, making it less readily visible to anyone in the area.

They had some canned provisions hidden in the boughs of the taller trees, out of sight and reach of most large wild animals. Canned goods generally didn’t have much scent to attract bears or coyotes, but again, it was better safe than sorry. Vin considered the idea of shinnying up the tree for what he wanted, but decided against it. No reason to get Ezra wound up. He grinned to himself. An’ I kinda like watch him climb the tree.//

Vin unrolled a bolt of heavy canvas cloth they also kept hidden nearby. Ezra would sleep on the ground when he had to, but he didn’t really enjoy doing it. The canvas didn’t really provide much in the way of a cushion, but it did serve to keep their bed a bit cleaner. It provided some additional warmth in the early morning chill and kept some of the damp from the ground from seeping through their clothes. It could also be used as a tent for those times when it rained enough that even the willow couldn’t keep them dry.

Ezra placed their saddles in the usual spot near the fire. He hung his hat from the saddle horn and slipped out of his coat laying it across the cantle. Without word he deftly climbed the tree, going up it with the same casual grace and economy of motion that defined nearly everything he did.

Vin stopped to watch. He couldn’t help it. A well-dressed man shinnying up a tree to retrieve a sack of provisions should have look ridiculous, but nothing could be further from the truth. There was something so tantalizing about seeing Ezra move effortlessly, oddly at ease in such an incongruous activity, the play of muscle both accented and yet hidden by his carefully tailored clothing. There was no hesitation in his movements, no uncertainty as he scaled the tree moving from one sturdy branch to another.

The gambler easily undid the knotted rope that held the burlap sack of supplies. He lowered it as far as the rope would allow before dropping it into Vin’s waiting hands. Rather than climb down, Ezra swung from the branch, dangling for a moment before releasing his grip to drop to the ground. Ezra landed squarely on his feet, knees bent to absorb the impact.

Vin shook his head. "Yer gonna break yer neck one o’these days."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Nonsense. I’ve jumped for far greater heights and suffered no misfortune."

Vin’s half smile appeared, knowing that in a similar position he’d have made the exact same argument. No wonder Nate gets so bent outta shape with us. ‘Tween the two of us it’s a wonder he ain’t nuts.

It was a bit early to eat supper, but when on the trail, they usually ate early, banking the fire to minimize the light and smoke that with the setting sun might attract undo attention. The routine of fixing a meal helped to re-establish their usual rapport. Between what they had brought with them in their saddlebags and what had been hidden, they created a simple, but satisfying meal. There were even canned peaches and spiced dried apple rings for dessert.

Ezra handed the can of peaches to Vin for him to finish. Peaches were Vin’s favorite and he wasn’t about to refuse. And eating the moist fruit was easier on his sore throat than anything else. It hadn’t really hurt him to swallow, but he’d taken his time about eating not wanting to risk choking or aggravate his throat further.

He watched curiously as Ezra heated more water. It was too late for coffee. The gambler retrieved his jacket and withdrew from the inside pocket a small packet. "Watcha got, Ez?"

"Tea." Ezra smiled. "Mr. Jackson was kind enough to supply enough for both of us." Green eyes assessed him for a moment. "In your case it is medicinal. In mine, I simply happen to like it."

Vin had to agree that the cup he’d had in the clinic wasn’t as bad as the stuff Nathan usually foisted off on them. Still, it wouldn’t be his drink of choice. "You got yer flask?"

"Yes." Ezra chuckled. "And no, I’ll not be adding any scotch to your cup of tea."

"Aw c’mon, Ez."

Ezra shook his head. "Imbibing something stronger can wait until your throat has fully recovered."

"Doesn’t hurt that bad."

Ezra arched an eyebrow. "But it does hurt." A statement, not a question.

Vin silently cursed. He knew his slip of the tongue cost him, and that Ezra hadn’t failed to notice his eating slower than normal. He opened his mouth to try and convince Ezra that one drink wouldn’t hurt, but the gambler held up a hand halting him before he even got started.

"If it makes you feel better, I will forgo the scotch as well. But you are not getting any tonight."

"You don’t have to go without, Ez." Vin appreciated the offer, but he didn’t want his lover to be denied his favorite ‘libation’ on his account. Don’t seem fair.

"I rather dislike drinking alone." Ezra smiled warmly at him. Having someone else willingly deny himself anything on Vin’s behalf was still a novel enough occurrence that Vin found himself smiling delightedly in return.

The gambler finished making the tea. He let it steep before adding a pinch of sugar to each cup to sweeten the flavor. Shame we don’t have any honey on hand. Vin made a mental note to add it to the list of things they kept stored here. Assumin’ we get to stay in the area that is.

Ezra handed Vin a cup and sat next to him. Ezra relaxed back against his saddle, sipping his tea. Vin had wanted to follow his example but his the cracked rib and bruises he’d gotten earlier were letting him know that wasn’t a good idea. They hadn’t bothered him much before now. Vin knew once he actually stopped moving the muscles would stiffen some, adding to the overall body ache.

He finished his tea quickly, not really wanting to linger over it, drinking it more to satisfy Ezra than any other reason. Vin sighed and shifted trying to get comfortable. Ezra set aside his cup and settled into a more reclined position.

"Come, Cheri, lay down."

They both knew lying on his back was not really an option. Vin dropped his hat on his saddle and turned so he could rest his head on Ezra’s shoulder. The gambler’s heartbeat thumping steadily under his ear, comforting Vin as he stretched out and settled in. Ezra’s right hand lightly stroked up and down Vin’s spine. His touch was light enough not to cause pain, and still deep enough to feel good.

Vin bit his lip, thinking over the day’s events yet again. He never really expected to stay in Four Corners forever, but he also hadn’t given much thought to where he would go when he left. Initially he figured he’d just head to Tuscosa and try to clear his name. But once he and Ezra got together, Vin wasn’t sure he wanted to risk it. He had more to lose now than he used to. Last thing in the world he wanted was for his lover to be witness to him being hung.

It’s okay ta hope for the best. Even when a man’s got nothin’ else, he’s always got hope. Vin pursed his lips in thought. I like living here. Like bein’ a part of somethin’. Know Ez does too. Gonna hurt like hell if we have ta go. And knowing that the best case scenario might not be the end result, Vin knew they also needed to plan. He wasn’t any more comfortable with entering into a situation blind than his lover was. No time like the present.

"You give much thought to where you wanna go…if we do have ta leave?" Vin asked softly after several minutes of just enjoying being next to his lover.

"There was a time when I would have had a ready answer to that question waiting on the tip of my tongue." Ezra sighed softly. Vin felt him nuzzle his hair, placing a kiss before continuing. "I have not seriously contemplated the option in some time."

"But ya thought about it?" His question was more of a statement, but Ezra answered anyway.

"Yes." Ezra sighed again. "Many times."

"Why did ya stay?" It was a question Vin had often thought about before he and Ezra had gotten together. He had worried Ezra might pick up and leave any time. Four Corners was hardly the sort of place that was likely to hold a man of Ezra’s education, and sophistication for long. And for a gambler, there were definitely greener pastures to be had elsewhere.

"At first, it was simply a matter of staying until my agreed upon term of thirty days was over. During that time I became rather fond of the people and place we were hired to protect. When the thirty days were completed…well, I was unwilling to leave and intended to stay for as long as I was permitted to do so."

Vin lifted his head so he could make eye contact. "Why?"

"Because you were here." The gambler’s tone was matter-of-fact, but his smile was warm. "And even if I were too much the coward to act upon my feelings, I was not willing to abandon the opportunity to simply indulge myself in being around you."

"Yeah. Same for me." Vin raised a hand to caress Ezra’s cheek. "And yer not a coward."

"Merci."

"Ain’t gotta thank me for that." Vin stated firmly. "It’s the truth."

Ezra kissed Vin chastely on the mouth, the gesture more of gratitude and thanks than passion. Ezra moved his hand to card through the tracker’s long locks, making him want to purr in pleasure. He never tired of having his hair played with. Ezra encouraged Vin to lay his head down again.

"Is there somewhere you would like to go?" The cardsharp asked, easily bringing the conversation back to its starting point.

"Not really." Vin shifted, one arm resting passively across Ezra’s abdomen, holding on loosely. "Wouldn’t mind going ta California though."

"Really?" The surprise was evident in Ezra’s voice.

"Yeah." Vin nodded his head against Ezra’s shoulder. He’d surprised himself with his answer. California wasn’t a place he’d ever really talked about before.

"Heard tell they got these huge trees there. Fella who told me ‘bout ‘em said they was over a quarter mile tall, and more’n thirty feet around. Always figured it was just a tall tale, but I wouldn’t mind seein’ for myself."

Ezra chuckled, a sound Vin both heard and felt. "I’ve heard similar tales. I believe they call the trees Sequoias."

Vin’s brow furled. "Funny name for ‘em."

"It’s Indian, I think." Ezra’s free hand waved in a meaningless gesture. "I do not really know for certain." The right hand continued to softly massage Vin’s scalp, combing through his hair in long strokes. "Who told you about them?"

"Fella I was in the war with." Vin snuggled in a bit closer to Ezra. "Was a whole bunch o’ us signed up ‘bout the same time. Charlie was the oldest…think he was twenty. He was a great storyteller. Never knew if he was just spinnin’ yarn or if he was tellin’ ya the truth."

Vin shrugged one shoulder. "Anyway, Charlie’s daddy moved their family ta California from Georgia when they heard ‘bout findin’ gold there. Didn’t ever work the mines though. Charlie’s daddy was a logger. Said they felled a lotta trees for the mines ta use."

"I suspect they still do." Ezra murmured.

Vin knew the mines were still operating. It seemed like new strikes were being made all the time. He’d never cared for the idea of working underground. Just the thought of being in such closed in, dark places, with so much unstable rock above, made him shudder. Can’t understand why anyone would wanna work in a place like that.

"Ya think they cut down all those real big ones Charlie talked about?"

"I doubt they have managed to cut all of them, yet." Ezra patted his shoulder. "What happened to Charlie? Did he survive the late unpleasantness?"

Vin smiled slightly. ‘Late Unpleasantness’ was an odd euphemism for war, but he’d heard it many times, usually from southerners. "Last I heard o’ him, he’d headed back out ta California ta help out with his family."

"Ah, family. It can be both boon and burden." Vin couldn’t quite decipher the emotions he heard in Ezra’s voice.

Only family Ezra’s ever talked about was Maude…and his uncle Malcolm. Sort o’ runs the gamut there. Got good and bad.

"You got family that you wanna visit?" Vin asked hesitantly, not sure if he should ask or not. "We can do that if you’d rather."

"No. I was merely commenting on the nature of filial relationships, not implying there was anyone I should pay a visit to." Ezra hugged him lightly. "If we are to make an exodus," the gambler took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment, "I would prefer to tour the scenic wonders with you."

"Okay." Vin readily agreed.

"Have you family that you would like to see?" Ezra asked.

"Nope."

"No one?"

"Well, no one that’s a blood relative." Vin clarified "My Pa died when I was two. Some kind of accident. Not sure what. Don’t really even remember him, ‘cept for what my Ma told me. She said he was a good man. Someone whose name I should be proud ta have." He regretted not remembering the man, or having a chance to get to know him, but it didn’t hurt to talk about him. Vin didn’t talk about his father much simply because he had so little to say.

His mother was another story. He still missed her. Even though he couldn’t picture her face clearly any more, he could still hear her voice singing the lullaby she sang to him every night. Vin cleared his throat. "You already know about the fever taken my ma when I was five."

He felt Ezra place another kiss in his hair. Vin shifted so he could settle more of his weight on and against Ezra, taking comfort just from being close to his lover. He took a breath and let it out slowly.

"Might have some cousins or somethin’ runnin’ around. But there weren’t no family around that I remember who wanted ta lay claim to me. Never even ran into another Tanner that I remember."

"You said there was no blood relative." Ezra spoke hesitantly as though he was feeling his way. It was a hesitancy Vin understood. Neither of them was inclined to press when it came to asking information about the other’s past, both willing to respect whatever boundaries the other chose to draw. "Is there someone who was like family? Perhaps someone who is to you what Aunt Mattie is to me."

Mattie was not really related to Ezra, but the gambler had referred to her as his aunt. She had taken care of Ezra for a time when he was a child, and they still wrote to each other regularly. The tracker bit his lower lip thinking about people who held a similar position in his own life.

"You know I spent time with the tribes."

Vin felt Ezra nod against the top of his head. "I know." The gambler waited patiently for Vin to continue.

"Most o’ the people I knew….well, the army either killed, or forced on to reservations." Vin sighed. "Not sure if I could find ‘em or if they’d even wanna see me." He’d left the tribes and gone back to the white man’s world. There was no guarantee he’d be welcomed back.

"I’m sorry, Mon Couer. So very sorry."

The apology was heartfelt and Vin knew Ezra meant it. He found it more comforting than he’d expected. He patted Ezra’s chest. "Not yer fault. Nothin’ to be sorry for. Just the way it is."

"Does not make it right."

"No. No it don’t." Vin rubbed his cheek against the soft fabric of Ezra’s shirt. The fine weave felt incredibly soft against his skin. He confessed with his voice little louder than a whisper, "Got ta thinkin’ of you…and the others as my family now."

"As have I." Ezra answered, his voice equally soft. The light chuckle that followed surprised Vin. "Although, I must confess, having brothers is definitely a novel experience."

Vin snickered. "That’s one way o’ puttin’ it."

His humor dissipated quickly as he once again thought about having to leave, losing yet another family. Still, if he couldn’t have both, then he considered just being with Ezra a fair trade. He enjoyed the closeness and camaraderie he had with the others. But he’d lived without that before and could survive without it again if need be. Ezra was a different story. He loved the gambler, heart and soul. He wasn’t sure that he could to live without the other man. And he knew for certain that he didn’t want to. So he’d pick Ezra every time, even if it meant leaving the others behind. They had talked about some of this before and he had no doubts that his lover shared his feelings.

Vin knew Ezra’s mood had shifted to match his own melancholy when the cardsharp sighed. "I never truly expected all of us to live indefinitely in Four Corners. It seemed so…utterly unlikely given our respective professions, personalities and habits. But I harbored the faint hope that we would part on good terms when the time came."

"Still might." Vin offered. "Only one we ain’t on good terms with right now is Josiah. And hell, we all been on the outs with each other from time to time." Course it was never anythin’ quite like this…Not gonna mention that. No reason ta dwell on it. "We managed to mend fences every other time. No reason to think we can’t do it again."

He raised his head to again make eye contact. "I never expected JD and Nate ta be the ones to go to bat for us. We got Chris and Buck too."

Ezra smiled wryly. "A most unforeseen turn of events."

"Not really. Always figured Bucklin would be ready ta take our side." Vin grinned thinking of the book Ezra had recently started reading to him. "He seems like the sort to tilt windmills."

Ezra laughed lightly. "And that would make Mr. Larabee Sancho?"

Vin chortled, trying to picture Chris in that role. He failed miserably. "Okay, so maybe he’s someone else."

"Undoubtedly." Ezra winked at him. "Sancho would more likely be JD."

"Yep." Vin didn’t have any trouble picturing that.

"His open acceptance of us was so akin to Buck’s." Ezra shook his head, expression a bit bemused. "I have not been able to ascertain if that is due to Buck’s influence, or if JD is more worldly than we gave him credit for."

"Could be a bit o’ both." Vin shrugged, again laying his head on Ezra’s shoulder. He’d never really given it much thought, content to just have JD accept them, thrilled that the kid would stand by them.

Things had gone so well as they gradually widened the circle of people who knew they were a couple, Vin had honestly thought Josiah’s reaction would be more accepting than it had been. Oh maybe not as open and approving as Buck and JD, but Vin hadn’t anticipated him reacting as badly as he had. Sure never expected him ta get all fire and brimstone on us. Should have expected Ez to know how to argue against it though.

Vin knew he’d never have been able to counter a religious argument. His own exposure to religion was spotty at best. Church sponsored orphanages or the occasional run in with a missionaries made up the bulk of what he knew. And in all honesty, he found most professed Christians to be hypocrites. Love yer neighbor…sure. Didn’t keep ‘em from using orphans as cheap labor, sendin’ them ta bed hungry, or using a switch so hard and so often ya couldn’t sit down fer a week. All that stuff they spouted ‘bout God never kept them from stealing the tribe’s land. Or killing the women and children.

"Was pretty impressed that you know the Bible as well as Josiah. Was a right smart answer ya gave him." The pride he had in his lover was unmistakable in his tone.

The gambler made a meaningless gesture with his left hand. "As I said before, when one pulls a con, it must stand up to scrutiny. The more you look and sound like you know what you’re doing, the less likely people are going to question it."

Ezra laced his fingers through Vin’s, their clasped hands resting on his chest. "And I doubt the point I made will prove to be terribly effective if Mr. Sanchez truly believes what he said."

"If? You think he might not?" Both Vin’s brows rose. Don’t think Josiah had any doubts. Man seemed pretty damn sure of himself in the stable when he’s callin’ us an ‘abomination’.

"He has never professed such views before." Ezra squeezed his hand. "In fact, there have been many times when he has stated quite clearly that he did not agree with such a rigid stance."

"Well why the hell would he say that if he didn’t believe it?"

He felt Ezra shrug. "Sometimes people behave poorly when under stress. They say and do things they don’t mean. Reacting rather than thinking it through."

Vin sincerely hoped that was the case. Assuming the man was honestly sorry about doing it, he could bring himself forgive Josiah for trying to strangle him. Josiah thought he was protecting Ezra and Vin was willing to let it go rather than let it create an irreparable rift among the group.

He wasn’t so sure he would so easily forgive the preacher for the hurt he caused Ezra with his careless words. Ez told me once that words are like weapons…and I’ve seen ‘em used ta cut people ta the bone so I know he’s right. Might not be any bruises on Ez, but Josiah hurt him, drew blood for sure. Iffen he didn’t mean it, then he never should o’ said that stuff.

Mentally brushing that aside to be dealt with later Vin stated firmly, "We got us a plan."

"Do we?"

"Yep." Vin nodded against Ezra’s shoulder. "We give the others a chance ta fix it with Josiah. Find out where he really stands. We talk ta him in two days ta see what sort o’ progress was made. Things work out okay, we stay." That was the option he knew both of them would prefer.

"Things don’t work out so well," a possibility he knew they needed to be prepared for, "then we go see if those big trees really do exist."

Ezra brought their joined hands to his lips and placed a soft kiss on Vin’s knuckles. "Agreed."

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