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Wind Change |
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When he awoke, the heat of skin pressed along Vin’s back was like late afternoon sunshine, warming him down to his soul. The hard flesh pressed against his backside was simply sex.He pushed back against the hardness and was rewarded by Chris rocking against him as he woke. Vin had to think a moment about what to do. He wanted so much -- he’d never got around to tasting Chris last night like he wanted to. Sometime soon he was going to lick Chris from his forehead to his feet.
That idea had him hardening fast. He slithered down under the covers and pushed Chris onto his back. The dimness under the covers hid little of the male genitals inches from his face. Slightly dizzy at how much he wanted this, and how he felt no revulsion at all, he ducked down and took one of Chris’s balls into his mouth, investigating it with his tongue, savoring both the taste and the groan that came from his companion. He treated the other ball with the same gentle suckling and licking. Although he wanted to stay there for much longer, this intimacy had him aching for more, so he licked his way up Chris’s cock. Chris’s hands cupped his head, and he threaded his fingers through Vin’s hair, grasping his skull. Desire trembled through him as he let the entire length of the cock slide into his mouth. Chris was panting and moaning, and Vin couldn’t believe he had been willing to settle for a lifetime without these feelings. The wonder of knowing another person with this level of understanding and passion was too powerful to ever be erased. He wondered if Chris had felt this way with Sarah, if he still did, and if he also felt this way about Vin.
Chris was getting close; his fluid was swelling through his cock and leaking into Vin’s mouth, making it bigger and harder. Feeling the excitement rise in himself, Vin dragged his tongue around the crown of Chris’s cock, and Chris gasped, froze, and his heat poured into Vin. The warmth of Chris’s seed felt strange as it pulsed over his tongue, but he concentrated on how it must feel to Chris, and he managed to swallow.
He was near his own release, but he needed to see Chris’s face. He hoped Chris wouldn’t fall asleep again -- Vin didn’t mind it, but he was too needy to wait until Chris woke.
He need not have worried. Chris was reaching for him. Vin pulled himself up on the bed, looked into Chris’s eyes, and took his mouth in a deep kiss.
Chris’s strong fingers wrapped securely around his cock, making Vin gasp into Chris’s mouth, and causing Chris to chuckle against the kiss. Then he changed his grip, circling Vin loosely, barely touching him, forcing a moan of frustration from Vin, who opened his eyes to see Chris gauging his reaction with a thoughtful look. Then Chris was gone under the covers. Vin was pushed onto his back, his legs were opened, and Chris was curled up between them.
One hand wrapped around his cock, the other cradled and stroked his balls. Then Chris’s tongue lightly and cautiously licked his cock, like he was getting used to the taste. He stroked the base of Vin’s cock while lapping and kissing the head. Vin was sweating hard, and couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting. When the heat of Chris’s mouth engulfed him, he cried out. He tried to warn Chris, who ignored his grunts and kept going. A few short licks over the tip of his cock and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He came, pleasure burning away all thought.
He lay back, waiting for his heart to stop pounding, and Chris moved up beside him. Chris’s lips brushed across Vin’s face, neck, and chest.
Vin wrapped his arms around Chris, not quite believing this was happening, and wondering if his heart was going to burst out of his chest.
When Chris stopped kissing him and leaned over him, looking him in the eye, Vin saw Chris’s reticence and shyness, but he also saw his determination to show Vin how much he felt for him. Vin kept his eyes on Chris’s and nodded slowly. Chris must have read him right, because his smile was as sweet as apple pie.
Vin pulled Chris down on top of him. This was how the world should always be.
+ + + + + + +
When Vin woke, Chris was molded to him. Vin was on his back, with Chris’s leg over his, one of Chris’s arms around his chest, and Chris was pressed along Vin’s side. He was still floating. He turned his head to find Chris watching him. Words tumbled around in his head, but they refused to come out, and he didn’t think he needed them.
Chris’s thumb had been slowly rubbing Vin’s chest, but he raised it to run over Vin’s cheek. “I never thought I’d get a second chance.”
Vin kissed the thumb as it investigated his lips. “Never thought I’d get any chance.”
Chris nodded. “Not gonna be easy.”
Vin grinned. “Don’t care.”
“Neither do I.”
Chris laid his head down on Vin’s chest and rubbed his hand lightly over Vin’s stomach. They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, the pull to join the real world was undeniable. With a sigh, Chris leaned up on his elbow. “Food?”
Chris put out the remainder of last night’s dinner and made coffee. They ate in silence, and finally sat back, sipping coffee.
Vin thought the routine of eating might take the starch out of this newness between them. But instead he felt as awkward as a new colt, and he wondered if the pull he felt toward this man would make him clumsy in public, too.
“This is going to be complicated, ain’t it?”
Chris nodded and waited.
“You think we can stay together when we’re in town?”
“Never thought you were safe in that wagon.”
Vin nodded agreement to the plan and changed the subject. “If you’re right about Ezra, he’ll know. Buck’ll figure it out easy, I expect. You have trouble with that?”
“Nah. Buck’s okay. You know he was raised in a brothel?”
Vin shook his head in wonder. “You reckon that’s what made him the way he is, or he was born like that and got lucky?”
Chris grinned. “Either way, he’s been like this since I’ve known him. Doesn’t get spooked by things like this.”
Vin nodded. “I guess, most things won’t be all that different, except what’s going on inside.”
“Nope.” Chris looked down at the table. “Vin, I’m not the best company all the time.”
Vin spoke clearly, so there’d be no mistake. “I ain’t leaving you, Chris. No matter what.”
Chris nodded and cleared his throat before speaking. “You ready for your lesson?”
They settled on the front porch, where Chris used the dirt as a board and a twig as a pencil. He began with the alphabet, explaining how every letter sounded, and even how they sounded when they were put together. Vin loved sitting close to Chris, watching how his mind worked. He thought Chris might really create meaning for him out of all the squiggles. Both at ease, they kept going until the sun’s diminishing brilliance told them it was time to leave.
They had been riding for a while when Vin spoke. “Think we might be able to do some lessons while we’re in town?”
“You don’t mind the others knowing?”
Vin, seeing his fear for what it had been, grinned. “Not any more.”
Chris nodded. “We’ll see if we can find a slate so you can practice your writing, and I bet we can get some paper from Mary. When you start reading we can borrow books, or if we stop playing poker with Ezra, maybe even order some.”
Vin couldn’t breathe for a couple moments. Unable to meet Chris’s eyes, he managed to finally croak out his thanks.
“That’d be real nice, Chris.”
+ + + + + + +
Back in town, they dropped their horses at the livery. After checking in at the jail and the saloon, and finding out all was well, they stopped at Vin’s wagon. Vin gathered a few supplies, tucked them into his saddle bags, and they strolled to the boarding house. Without discussion, they went up to Chris’s room.
Vin stood just inside the closed door, saddle bags in hand, the strangeness of the last day and night prickling over him. Chris was the most private of men, guarding his privacy tighter than an armory. Vin recognized this the moment they met, as he suspected Chris recognized in him. Yet here he was, trespassing into another of Chris’s private domains.
Chris noticed Vin’s discomfort. He took the bags from Vin’s hands, placed them over the chair next to the window, and came back to stand in front of Vin, a worried frown settling over his face.
“We can go as slow you want. I don’t know if you’ve ever been this close to someone, but it can be a shock when you stop being alone. I’ve done this before; I can do it again. You tell me what you want and don’t want, and we’ll work through it.”
“I want this, Chris, all of it. I just find it hard to believe you can open yourself to me so quick and easy.”
Chris pulled Vin to him, and held him tight. “I’ve wanted you so long, it’s the easiest thing in the world.”
Vin couldn’t believe he was hearing these magical words, and was unable to talk. There was only one thing to do. He pulled Chris into a kiss, and eventually they made it to the bed, falling on it while tangled around each other.
They woke in mid-afternoon, in the same position as that morning, Chris draped over Vin. Vin turned his head to kiss Chris, rubbed his hand over the dried semen coating his belly, and said, “Looks like we’re going to need to visit the bathhouse more often.” He stretched and yawned.
Chris laughed. “Together? How are we going to keep this secret if we bathe together?”
Vin gave a small grin. “Good point. Maybe we can go right afterwards, before we can get rowdy again.” He paused. “What about the river, when nobody else is there?” He wondered if Chris would remember.
“Mmm. You looked right nice while you were bathing.”
Vin rolled his eyes. “I should have known you’d go peeking.” He became thoughtful. “I never done that with anyone around before. It felt so right with you there, I didn’t even consider not doing it. I should have figured it out.”
“Vin, you know when you’re ready to know. But I’ll bathe with you in that river anytime you want. You mind waiting until it’s a little warmer?”
Vin snorted. “And I call you a cowboy.”
They looked for the rest of the troop in the saloon, but Inez told them that everyone had gone to the Taylors’ for dinner. Chris gave Vin a questioning look and they walked wordlessly to the back of the saloon, sat at a corner table, and ordered food. Vin appreciated the quiet and he was happy to avoid scrutiny. He didn’t think he was doing a good job keeping his happiness inside, and Chris didn’t appear to be doing all that well, either, at least when he looked over at Vin.
After dinner they sipped whiskey as they waited for the saloon to fill up. Something was missing, but Vin couldn’t figure out what, until he watched Chris’s finger sliding up and down his whiskey glass. The book wasn’t on the table between them. He hadn’t noticed it in Chris’s room, either. Maybe he left it at the cabin. As he thought about it, the book shrank in importance. A few days ago, it had symbolized everything he would never know about Chris, now it was just a book he was curious about.
A jovial burst of noise preceded Ezra, Buck, JD, Josiah, and Nathan into the saloon. The group acknowledged Chris and Vin, then settled down at a center table. Buck came over to visit, filling them in on the adventures they’d had at dinner, and on the events of the previous day. As soon as he left for the poker game, Chris’s leg leaned against his, and Vin smiled to himself.
Chris pulled a folded-up copy of Mary’s newspaper and a stub of a pencil out of his pocket and laid them on the table. He looked at Vin, who responded with a nod and a surge of excitement. Quietly, Chris reviewed the alphabet, showing Vin the differences in the way Chris had written the letters and the way they were printed in the paper. Eventually, he showed Vin some of the shorter words, telling him how the letters made the sounds everyone was used to.
Vin looked up from the little world he and Chris had created to find Ezra watching them with surreptitious glances, between bantering and poker hands. No one else seemed to notice, except Chris, who, for one long moment, stared back at Ezra. Then Ezra was back in his game, and the only thing left of the exchange was an itchy Chris Larabee.
The lesson was over, and they both needed to dispel some of the discomfort at letting Ezra see what was now between them. Vin finished his whiskey and stood.
“I reckon I’m ready to call it a night. Take a walk?”
They said goodnight to those still playing poker, then stepped out into the night. Vin led them to the jail, where they sat in the chairs outside, the town laid out before them, dark and peaceful, with the exception of the saloon.
“Used to be there was me and everyone else. I even wondered if I existed sometimes, thought sometimes I might be a gust of wind blowing across the desert at night. But you...” Vin shook his head and smiled. “Moment I saw you I wanted to know you. Not easy.” Chris watched him, interested and waiting.
Vin looked into Chris's eyes and continued, “Now you’ve opened the door to the unknowable Chris Larabee. I want that, ain’t no doubt about it. But it changes the wind into something I don’t know.”
Chris nodded and thought for a while. “I guess it’s time both of us change. But it’ll happen on its own, Vin. Things come up, we’ll figure them out. There’s no reason we can’t be the wind when we need to. There are still big spaces out here that we can go to. You tell me when you need to go and we’ll leave together. That good enough for you?”
Chris kept tipping Vin off balance, giving him these gifts. “Yeah, it’s good enough for me.” And he smiled.
Chris sat back in his chair, his eyes bright with relief.
Vin nodded. He tilted his head toward the boarding house, looking at Chris. They rose, and walked up the street, together.
END
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