Nathan burst into the clinic and rushed to Vin's room to find the bed empty. Realizing that the tracker must have headed out the back way, he ran down the passage towards the backdoor, only to trip and nearly fall over the discarded nightshirt. 'Damn fool,' Nathan cursed to himself. 'What in hell is he wearing?'He flung the door wide and hurried out glancing quickly around. He spotted his prey, moving unsteadily, but purposefully, along behind the main street buildings. Even as he watched, the tracker reeled and nearly fell, but managed to lean against the back of the telegraph office and thus keep his feet.
"VIN TANNER! YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!" the healer shouted, his voice ringing with anger and exasperation.
The tracker glanced back at him and started to push off from the building, with the intention of trying to escape, only to slump back against it as his strength failed him.
Jackson hurried up to him and glared at him. "What in hell do you think you're doing?" he roared, towering menacingly over the slighter man.
To his horror, Vin flinched and raised his left arm defensively, clearly expecting a blow. "I-I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not going to hurt you, Vin," Nathan reassured him hurriedly, taken aback by the totally unexpected reaction. He reached out his hands. "C'mon, let me help you before you fall down."
Vin pressed back into the building, still holding his left arm out defensively. "I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice reflecting his distress.
Jackson looked down at him. Barefoot and bare-chested in spite of the winter's chill, he was clad only in a pair of the healer's trousers that were too large for his slender frame and hung precariously from his slim hips. His curls were hanging in riotous disorder over his shoulders and he was trying to use them to shield his face.
Nathan put out a gentle hand and raised the sharpshooter's chin. Vin tried to draw back, but was hard up against the building.
The healer saw the beautiful cerulean eyes were awash with unshed tears. Even as he watched, an errant tear escaped and trickled down the bone-white face. Vin's cheeks flushed as he realized the healer had observed his weakness.
Without hesitation, Nathan drew the tracker against his chest and held him there. "It's okay, Vin, I'm not mad with you," he said, comfortingly. "Everybody else is."
"No, they're not. I know you've had a falling out with Buck …"
"And Josiah and … and Chris'll be mad and …"
"Shhh, Chris won't be mad with you …"
"He will be! He will be!"
"No, he won't," Nathan said firmly, "but he wouldn't approve of you out in this weather, would he?"
"Nope," Vin admitted ruefully.
"Well, how about you let me help you back to the clinic and we can talk things over."
Talk? Yes, he wanted to do that, but not with Nathan. He wanted the gambler. "N-No, I need Ezra. I w-want <cough> to t-talk to him." He was starting to shiver uncontrollably.
"You come back with me and I'll get Ezra for you."
"No! I want … I n-need to g-go <cough> to his rooms. You s-said <cough> I c-could."
"Vin, you know Ezra and I discussed moving you there tomorrow, but you can't go if you make yourself sick again and that's what you're doing to yourself."
"I want <cough> to go now," Vin insisted.
Nathan sighed inwardly. He had never had such a difficult patient and it would have been so easy to just give in and let him go, but he knew his duty. He had to do what he felt best for his patient and Vin was in no state to make a rational decision for himself. Without a word, he scooped the tracker into his arms and headed for the clinic.
Caught off-guard by the healer's sudden act, for a few moments Vin lay still, but then he began to struggle frantically to extricate himself from the larger man's grasp. It was all Nathan could do to keep from dropping him and so the healer stopped in his tracks. "Vin!" he warned. "Keep still!"
Nathan's mind was racing. He knew he could not give in to Vin, but he could not manage to keep holding him in his arms either while he was fighting to free himself. Vin's badly bruised ribs notwithstanding, there was only one solution. Without warning, he shifted his grip and tossed Vin up and over his shoulder.
He winced as he heard Vin yelp in pain, but ignored the tracker's discomfort and walked on carrying him like a sack of spuds.
Vin started to swear and kick, but Jackson was able to wrap a muscular arm around the tracker's legs trapping them against him. Ignoring the colourful language, he staggered on.
He reached the clinic and moved hurriedly through the house, dumping Vin unceremoniously on the bed. The tracker immediately tried to scramble up, but a hand descended on his chest and pushed him back.
Keeping Vin pinned, Nathan rummaged in the draw of the bedside cabinet with his free hand, and produced some leather straps. He dangled these in front of Vin. "Don't make me use these, Vin. I don't want to, but be assured, I will use them if I have to," he warned.
The tracker froze, his eyes wide with fear. "D-Don't. Please, don't," he begged. "Hudson … He … No, please …. please …"
Nathan's heart contracted. He hated to have to threaten Vin. "Do I have your word that you won't try to leave without my permission?" he asked, hoping that his voice was firm.
"Y-Yes, I'm s-sorry, Nate, I know <cough cough> I shouldn't have … shouldn't have … aw hell!" He broke off and rubbed furiously his eyes trying to stem the tears.
Nathan quickly handed him a handkerchief. "Blow your nose," he instructed, not unkindly. Then he reached for a glass. "Drink this. It's just water," he added quickly, as he saw the flash of suspicion cross Vin's face.
"Okay, now I'm going to get you back into bed. We need to get you warmed up." He reached for Vin's fly.
Vin pushed his hands away, "I c-can do it," he insisted, but his hands were shaking too much and he fumbled over the buttons. Finally, Nathan took over.
Once he had stripped Vin he lifted him off the bed and sat him in a chair, while he peeled back the covers. Then he helped the shaking tracker into the bed. "Okay, I'll go and find that nightshirt now. I think I tripped over it in the passage earlier."
"Th-Thank you."
Once Nathan had dressed Vin in the nightshirt once more, he tucked him into bed and then disappeared for a few moments. He returned with a second glass. "Right, now I want you to have this herbal medicine and no arguments."
Chastened, Vin nodded and obeyed without his usual fuss. A few minutes later, the concealed laudanum did its work and he was asleep.
It was certainly not Nathan's policy to medicate a patient unnecessarily, but he sighed with relief as he saw the tracker drift off. He certainly did not want to strap him down, but he could not afford to have Vin take off again.
+ + + + + + +
The next day, Nathan and Ezra decided it would be best to continue with their plans to move Vin to Ezra's rooms. The tracker was clearly set upon going and neither wanted a recurrence of his previous day's escape from the clinic. Anyway, Jackson appreciated that a positive frame of mind was more conducive to a patient's recovery and Vin was anything but happy in the clinic.
Nathan just wished the tracker would tell him what Buck had said to cause him to try to leave, but Vin was close-lipped. All he would say was, "But ya said I could shift to Ezra's rooms."
Ezra feared that the ladies' man had made similar comments to Vin as those that he had made to him. However, he did not feel comfortable interrogating the tracker about that in the clinic lest Nathan overhear. So he had added his voice to that of Vin in favour of the shift.
However, once installed at the rooming house, Vin did not seem disposed to discuss Buck and either pretended to sleep or blatantly ignored Ezra's attempts to open the subject. Further, he disarmed the gambler by snuggling comfortably down in the bed and telling him several times how nice it was to be back with him and this made it much harder for Ezra to try to broach a potentially unpleasant subject. Mr Tanner, as Ezra reflected, was no fool and could be quite manipulative when it suited him.
Upon consideration, Vin had decided to delay telling Ezra about what Buck had said. He hated to stir up trouble within the group and hoped that Wilmington might calm down and change his mind about what he had threatened. He felt that was possible as Buck's vindictive outburst was quite out of character. Then, if that happened, there would be no need for Ezra to ever know what had gone on. If, however, Buck appeared to remain set on his planned course over the next couple of days, he would tell the gambler.
This decision was not entirely altruistic. He was scared that once the gambler became alerted to his possible peril, he might well deny the tracker the comfort of his arms.
Late on Tuesday morning, Josiah paid a call on the healer. He had heard from Buck that Vin had been moved, and wondering about his health, but aware that the tracker would probably not want to see him, finally ventured to the clinic.
"Could I talk to you, Nathan?"
"Of course, Josiah."
"I was wondering how Vin is?"
"Improving. Why don't you call in to see him? He's back with Ezra."
"I fear he wouldn't be too pleased to see me."
"Why on earth not?" asked a bemused Nathan.
"I guess I should tell you. I'm not proud of myself, but …" He trailed off awkwardly.
"Tell me what? I don't know what's going on, but I do know there are far too many secrets among us at present. I thought, at least I hoped, the relationship amongst the seven of us was built on trust."
"Yes, it was and it should be, but I've been a fool and done it some damage. I just hope I can undo the harm I've done."
"What is it, Josiah?" Jackson was at a loss. He had not heard one person make any adverse comments about the preacher's behaviour.
"You know one of the things I most resented about my father was his 'holier than thou' attitude. I promised myself I'd never be like that, but I find I am capable of being every bit as intolerant and judgemental as he was."
"I would never have said that about you, Josiah."
"Nevertheless it is true and when you hear what I have to say you'll see the truth in it. There's no easy way to say it. You saw the bruises on Vin that day we rescued him and Billy from the cave."
Nathan's mouth dropped open. "Josiah, you couldn't have … you didn't …" he started.
The preacher interrupted. "To my everlasting shame and regret I did."
"But why? What could Vin have possibly done to offend you?"
"Nothing! My actions were despicable. I'd been drinking, but that's no excuse."
"What happened?"
"Mrs Travis had been to see me, as her minister, early one morning. She told me that Vin had destroyed her relationship with Chris and ruined her hopes that she had found herself a husband and a father for her child. She painted a dreadful picture of Vin's behaviour, and having already heard some disturbing rumours to that effect, I foolishly accepted what she said instead of thinking about what I knew of Vin.
"Anyway, after she had gone I did not know what I should do for the best and, unfortunately, sought my answer at the bottom of a whisky bottle. Then, that afternoon, I was heading for the saloon to replenish my supplies, when I came upon Mrs Travis arguing with Vin over Billy. She said he was extending his corrupting influence to the boy.
"I saw red. I was not actually stupid enough to believe that Vin would hurt a child, but he was clearly upsetting her over Chris to the point where she was virtually hysterical, so I grabbed hold of him and dragged him into the livery stable. And then I … Well, you saw what I did."
"I wondered why you hadn't been near."
"I'm sorry about that, Nathan. I just couldn't face him. You see when I sobered up I started to have doubts and then when I saw how he went straight out to look for Billy, without a moment's hesitation in spite of Mrs Travis' behaviour, I knew that I had been wrong. Not about him having a relationship with Chris because I still think that is probably true, but it was not my place to take him to task over it."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"I want to go to see him and apologize, though I don't expected him to forgive me, but I thought I ought to ask you first. I don't want to go if seeing me will cause him more upset."
"Josiah, Vin is the most forgiving person I know. I'm sure he'll like to see you. However, although I don't want to burden you further and it isn't my place to tell you this, I think I need to tell you what's been going on. You see Chris, Ezra and I decided on a course of action to protect Vin and I think our secrecy has probably played a part in all this."
Both started as a voice said, "I'd be real interested in hearin' that too."
They swung around as Buck walked in.
"How long have you been here?" Josiah questioned.
"Long enough to know ya've gotta apologize to Vin about somethin', but not long enough to know what for." He waved a hand, wrapped in a bandanna, at the healer. "I broke one of Miss Lucy's fancy glasses and she ain't best pleased with me. I tried to clean it up quick before she saw and managed to cut myself, so now there's blood on her carpet and she's mad about that too. I need a couple of stitches."
Nathan motioned to him to sit down, while asking, "Why didn't you say something?"
"The door to the front room was open and I was about to call out when I heard voices. I was just listenin' in case ya had Ez or Vin in here 'cause I ain't on good terms with them two at present.
"Now, from the bit I heard, it seems Josiah here has also fallen out with Vin. Then I heard ya talkin' about a secret and I'd sure like to hear it too. I think our whole damned group is gonna fall apart the way we're goin'. We need to get things out in the open."
"I fear you may be right," Josiah opined. "Can Buck hear what you were going to tell me please, Nathan?"
"Yes, I think it may be for the best."
Nathan then proceeded to fill the two in on the full story of Hudson's crime, while they listened in growing horror. "I don't know if Vin's started a sexual relationship with Chris or not," he concluded. "All I know is he was shattered by the events, even to the point of attempting suicide, and Chris was there when he needed someone. I can't say that a same sex relationship is something that I really approve of, but if they have found happiness together, it has nothing to do with me and I wish them well."
"Thank you for telling us. It makes me feel worse about what I did, but I deserve that, and you're right, Vin and Chris' relationship is none of our business," Josiah said.
"Yeah, yer right." Buck agreed. "I dunno why yer off side with Vin, but I know that I really got the wrong end of the stick and said some things to him and Ez that … Hell, no more secrecy! I'll come clean. I thought Vin was betrayin' Chris with Ez. However, from what ya told us, poor old Vin probably don't want sex with anyone."
"Possibly, but I don't know and I guess it's not my place to speculate."
"Well, I for one hope Chris and Vin are together," Buck said decisively. "They both need someone and I figure it don't hurt anyone else."
"Trouble is it has hurt Mary Travis," Josiah felt obliged to say.
"Yeah, but I reckon she's behind the nasty little stories goin' around so I don't feel very kindly disposed towards her," Buck said. "She even did her level best to try to turn me against Chris. I think her pride is hurt worse than her heart. Also, though Chris ain't one to wear his heart on his sleeve, I never had the feelin' he regarded her as more than a friend and he ain't the sort to lead a lady on." He grinned and added, "And I'm the first to admit I ain't guiltless of that sorta thing myself."
"I think we need to close ranks and support Chris and Vin no matter what's going on," Nathan said.
"You're right, brother," Josiah agreed. "If we show no interest in the gossip, it'll die."
"I hope so. Anyway, I guess I'd better go and see Vin and Ez. It's time for me to eat humble pie," Buck said.
"Are you going to tell them that I told you about Hudson?"
"I suppose I ought to or there's still secrecy amongst us, but I'll wait and see what Chris reckons. The bottom line is that we have to do what's best as far as Vin's concerned and I think Chris is the best person to judge that."
While this conversation was going on, Chris Larabee rode back into Four Corners unannounced.
One of the first people he saw was Mary Travis. She was ready to make trouble. Her attempt to enlist Buck to her side had been surprisingly unsuccessful. He had insisted, politely but firmly, that he was Chris' friend, and as such, would support whatever the gunslinger did, and would not attempt to influence his actions. Further, Josiah seemed to have developed feet of clay and to be regretting his earlier actions. The preacher had even dared to suggest that she should rethink her behaviour towards Vin in light of what he had done for Billy. Indeed, he was not the only member of the community who had expressed the view that she was singularly lacking in a proper sense of gratitude towards the tracker, after the story of how he had risked himself to save the boy had circulated.
Unfortunately, as the saying goes, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', and Mary was determined on revenge. Further, she thought that she had hit on the perfect way to achieve this. She knew she could not turn Chris' affections back to herself and, in any case, she did not want them now, but what she wanted was to destroy his relationship with Vin.
When the search party had returned with Billy, she had snatched her son from Josiah and hurried off home, with seemingly no interest in Vin. However, her reporter's eye was keen and she had observed that it was the gambler who held him. Later she had heard from various sources that Standish had been virtually living in the clinic and had then had the tracker transferred to his rooms. Could there be any way she could use Ezra in her plans?
She had never noticed that the tracker and the gambler had been particularly close. Indeed, on a few occasions, she had heard Standish getting at Vin over various things. But had their relationship changed?
When she thought about it, after the incident with Hudson, Ezra had always been with Vin on the few occasions when Larabee was not. Could Chris have an unexpected rival for Vin's affections? Probably unlikely, but Chris was a man used to getting his own way so could he at least be made to feel Vin had betrayed him? If so, who knew what he might say or do in a jealous rage.
So, she needed to get as much detail about the current relationship between the sharpshooter and the gambler as she could. Surely there would be words and actions, no matter how innocent, she could twist to suit her purpose.
Accordingly, she approached JD, as the one of the seven easiest to interrogate and also the least likely to suspect her true motives since he clearly had no idea why she was mad with the tracker.
She told him that she wanted to thank him for what he had done in organizing the successful search for her son. Then she humbly begged his apology for any comment she might have made that had been critical of him, claiming it was hysteria, rather than any real belief in that he was too young for the job as sheriff, that had led to her foolish words. Indeed, she was full of praise for all his efforts in that sphere and she assured him that the article she intended to write about the events would make that abundantly clear.
JD preened himself as he listened to the admiring comments. He was so used to somewhat disparaging comments about his youth, that it was most flattering to have this mature woman singing his praises. However, he was honest enough to say, "The real thanks should go to Vin. He found Billy and then got him to safety."
Mary pretended a sense of sorrow that she did not feel and responded, "Yes, I feel so guilty for what I said about him. I can hardly believe he went out after my son when I had been so unjust towards him."
"Vin isn't one to hold a grudge."
"I know that, but I was foolish enough to behave so dreadfully that …" She trailed off as though unable to contemplate just how badly she had acted. Then she appeared to rally and said, more brightly, "But I intend to make amends. I've been so tied up in my own affairs that I have failed to consider others. I need to know everything that has been going on so that I can see the best way to rectify matters. Perhaps you would be kind enough to tell me everything that has happened since I first told you Billy was missing."
Unfortunately, happy to think that whatever had gone wrong between Vin and Mary was going to be resolved at last, JD proceeded to do just that. Mary could not believe her luck when he naively told her about the good fortune he and Buck had had in finding Vin in Ezra's room that day. "There he was lying in Ezra's bed," he recounted. "I was so surprised. I know he was hurt, but I'd never have figured Ezra would give up his bed to anyone, let alone Vin."
"Yes, that was kind," Mary said insincerely, her heart leaping with joy at the revelation. "I wonder where Mr Standish slept." she added innocently.
"With Vin, I suppose. It's a double bed and he was still in his nightwear so I expect he'd been sleeping there too. It wouldn't be like old Ez to wander the corridors dressed like that."
"I guess you woke him up."
"I suppose we did, though he didn't complain about it. I expect he'd been up late at the tables."
'Been up somewhere anyway,' Mary thought crudely, biting her tongue to stop herself from voicing the thought.
Then, led on by her frequent encouraging comments, JD proceeded to tell her all he knew of the rescue and then about Vin's convalescence.
Mary could hardly believe her luck. It appeared that she did not have to invent a rival for Chris after all. It would be poetic justice that he who had betrayed her would find the one he loved had turned from him so quickly. And to the gambler of all people! That was the icing on the cake, since Standish had always appeared the odd one out of the seven and she was sure that he had never enjoyed a fraction of the regard and trust that Chris had inexplicably had for the scruffy tracker from the moment they met. To find Vin preferred Ezra to him would be a particularly rude shock for Larabee and hopefully one that would spur him to act without thought.
Deciding that her plan had the greatest chance of success if she got to the gunslinger first, she kept a close watch out for Chris Larabee and rushed to intercept him as he rode in.
He stopped his horse, as he saw her approach, wondering whether she was going to continue with her recent unwelcome observations about him and the tracker.
"Chris, could I speak to you please. It is important."
To Larabee, nothing was as important as finding Vin, but Mary's gentle tone was so at variance with the one she had usually employed towards him over recent times, that he nodded and followed him into her newspaper office.
Then, after a great show of reluctance, Mary finally said, "Chris, we had a close friendship until recently and I do wish you well no matter what you may think." "I hope we still are friends, Mary."
"I'd like to think so and, I believe, a true friend should not shirk from telling a friend the truth, no matter how painful it may be for her to impart or for him to hear."
"What is it, Mary?" Chris asked suspiciously. He was not such a fool as to take her professions of friendship on face value.
"I'm afraid it's about Mr Tanner," she said, in an ominous voice.
Chris' heart contracted at her tone. "What is it?" he asked.
"Chris, I felt shattered when you turned from me to him. No, don't try to deny you have to turned to him," she added when he went to interrupt.
Larabee had had no intention of doing that, as to do so would have seemed like a betrayal of Vin, but he had hoped to redirect the conversation. However, he said nothing and waited to see what was coming.
"I was very upset, but I've been thinking it over and realize one cannot choose where one loves and that you did not intend to hurt me."
"I'd never want to do that if I could avoid it, Mary."
"I know, but at first I wasn't thinking rationally. I felt hurt and I just wanted to hit out and to hurt you in turn. However, while you've been away something has happened that has made me realize that you are still too good a friend to me for me to wish you pain. When I heard about it, all I could think of was how I wished I could spare you from what I had suffered. Even now, I hardly know if I'm doing the right thing in speaking up."
"Mary, please just tell me what it is," Chris implored.
"All right, but I just hope you will understand that I'm telling you this out of friendship and not malice."
Chris nodded curtly. He was on tenterhooks to hear what she had to say.
"I know you love Vin Tanner, but … but …"
"But what?" Chris asked, his exasperation at her circuitousness growing.
"There is no easy way to say this, so forgive me, but I'll be blunt. Vin has found someone else in your absence."
"What? Who?"
"Ezra Standish."
"Mary, that's fuc- I mean, that's damned nonsense. Vin would never …"
"He has!" There was a note of triumph in her voice.
"He wouldn't."
"Chris, there are others who'll tell you the same if you press them, though they might not be game to approach you first. I can tell you that Vin Tanner is in Ezra Standish's room at this very moment."
"That proves nothing," Chris insisted, with relief. After all, although Mary did not know it, he had asked Ezra to keep an eye on Vin and to let him stay with him. There was clearly nothing in her story. She was just trying to cause trouble.
But Mary continued as though he had not spoken. "And if you go and ask Mr Dunne he will tell you that he has seen Mr Tanner actually in Mr Standish's bed at this time of the day. Mr Standish got up to answer the door to him as blatant as you please. He invited Mr Dunne in as though it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be dallying in bed with a male."
"I don't believe you!" Chris blurted, glaring at her.
"You're angry with me. I knew you would be, but I've told you the truth. You go and ask Sheriff Dunne if you doubt my word."
"Right, I will!" With that he turned on his heel and stormed out of the newspaper office.