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Chris wasn´t sure if it was the idea that his friend no longer required the attention of the high-acuity ward or the fact that their friends were now free to visit in greater numbers, but the move to a regular room on the sixth floor saw a marked improvement in Tanner´s spirits as well as his own.He´d almost sent them away that first night, thinking that having all six of them visiting at once would be too much for the still weakened man, but one look at the sparkling blue eyes told him that the Texan needed to have his friends there as much as he needed any of the services the hospital could provide.
And, he realized, the others seemed to need it just as much. So, he bit back his reservations and just watched as the sharpshooter was reintegrated back into the fold.
“Hey, Junior, you´re lookin´ a mite more spry than last time I saw ya,” Buck grinned as they crowded into what had seemed like a large room only moments before.
“Only been a coupla days, Bucklin,” Vin smiled.
“Yeah, well,” Buck mused softly, clapping his friend on his good shoulder. “Seemed like a whole lot longer, son.”
Vin registered the warmth and sincerity in the scoundrel´s blue eyes and ducked his head, slightly embarrassed but grateful that he´d come to mean as much to these men as they had to him. Raising his faintly flushed faced, he focused clear blue eyes on their youngest agent. “How you doin´, JD?”
Dunne had lowered himself into a chair upon arriving in the room, quite unusual for the highly energetic man.
“I´m fine, Vin,” he assured the Texan. “Hardly hurts at all.”
“Yeah, right,” Buck scoffed gently. “That´s why you slept all the way over here.”
“Those damned pills,” JD groused. “They´d put anybody out.”
“Well those damned pills are the reason you ain´t feelin´ no pain now,” Nathan reminded him. “So you just keep takin´ ‘em, ya hear?”
“Yeah, I hear,” JD replied with a good-natured roll of his eyes. “Ain´t like Buck would let me forget anyway.”
“Damned straight,” Buck nodded. “Need you back on your feet, kid. Without you and Junior there, the office is going to be just way too quiet and not nearly as much fun.”
“Maybe you´ll be able to get some work done in that case,” Chris pointed out, trying to keep a stern expression on his face.
“Amen to that,” Josiah breathed with a grin.
“Hell, Chris, he´ll prob´ly just take up botherin´ you instead,” Vin grinned.
Chris frowned as though the idea hadn´t occurred to him, then turned to JD. “You keep taking those pills, you hear?”
They all laughed at that, even Ezra, who´d been uncharacteristically quiet since their arrival.
“You OK, Ez?” Vin asked.
Standish cleared his throat. “Of course, Mr. Tanner,” he replied in an attempt to brush off the concern. “Why would I not be?”
“Think ol´ Ez here is just worried he might have ta take up some of the slack with you and JD bein´ out of commission,” Buck teased, trying to inflect his unique brand of cheer into the room.
“I am, as you say, busted,” Ezra replied with a small smile. “That is indeed my main concern, Mr. Wilmington. May I take your obvious distress for my welfare as an offer to relieve me of some of that burden?”
“Huh?” Wilmington teased.
“I believe our brother just recruited you to help him take up that slack you were speaking of,” Josiah translated good-naturedly.
“Hell, why didn´t ya just say so?” Buck grinned. “You know you can count on me, Ez.”
Standish rolled his eyes but didn´t reply.
“Any idea when you´re getting out, Vin?” JD asked from the chair. All eyes turned to the sharpshooter.
“Doc says soon as I can walk on my own,” Tanner answered. “Legs are gettin´ stronger, but m´back´s still botherin´ me a mite.”
“Ya just had surgery,” Nathan pointed out. “You just make sure you take it easy, Vin Tanner. Back injuries ain´t nothin´ ta fool with.”
“Yeah, reckon I know that,” Vin replied quietly, bowing his head. “Don´t worry, Nathan. Ain´t gonna do nothin´ ta risk puttin´ y´all through that again.”
The mood in the room sobered as each man was reminded of how things might have turned out.
“Hell, Vin, it´s not like you did it on purpose,” JD interjected.
“I know that, JD,” Vin answered. Taking a deep breath, he looked at each of his team members in turn. “But when I´s thinking I´s never gonna walk again,” he began softly, “I kinda felt like I´s lettin´ y´all down.”
“Son, the only way you´d ever let us down is if you quit fightin´,” Buck assured him with a squeeze to the shoulder. “And I think we all know you well enough to know that ain´t never gonna happen. We knew you´d be back on your feet if there was even the smallest chance, and if you weren´t, we knew it wouldn´t be from lack o´ tryin´. You always give 110% to this team, Vin. And there ain´t no way you could ever let us down doin´ that.”
The rest of them murmured their agreement and Vin could only offer a grateful nod in response as his blue eyes welled with tears.
And Chris decided there and then that he´d never been more proud of, or more grateful to his oldest friend.
“Well, boys,” he announced. “I think it´s time we clear out. Our patient still needs his rest.”
The each took turns wishing Vin a good night before leaving the room. Chris noticed Ezra hanging back slightly and caught the look Vin shot his way. “I´m going to walk them as far as the elevator,” he informed his friend. “I´ll be back.”
“Ok,” Vin smiled gratefully at the blonde.
Once they were alone, Vin turned his attention to Standish. “What is it, Ez?” he asked softly.
Ezra shook his head slowly, a wry smile gracing his handsome features. “I wish I could tell you, Mr. Tanner,” he lamented quietly. “I just feel so inexplicably angry.”
“At me?” Vin asked.
“No!” Ezra assured him quickly. “No, Vin, of course not. It´s just…” He struggled to find the words he usually prided himself on. “When I´d heard you´d been injured,” he continued, “and that you might lose the use of your legs, I felt badly for you, but I also felt like something was being taken away from me.” He paused with a wry smirk. “How´s that for self-centered?”
Vin allowed a small smile of relief. “Don´t sound self-centered at all, Ez,” he assured the other man. “Sounds like a true friend ta me.”
Standish looked at him in obvious surprise. “Did you not hear what I said?” he asked in disbelief. “A true friend would have put his own concerns aside. Instead, I wanted to kill Collings for what I thought I´d lost.”
“And what was that?” Vin asked. “What did ya think ya´d lost, Ez?”
Standish took a moment to really think about the question. “The team,” he finally answered.
“Team´d still be there,” Vin replied, shaking his head slowly. “Woulda found another sharpshooter and things woulda carried on same´s they always did.”
“That´s just it,” Ezra disagreed. “Things wouldn´t have been the same at all.”
“A team´s a team, Ez,” the Texan pointed out. “A group of men workin´ together ta get the job done. This ain´t the first one ya been on.”
“But it´s the only one I´ve ever really felt a part of,” Standish countered.
Vin didn´t reply, just smiled knowingly.
“Good Lord,” Ezra breathed. “It´s become so much more than that, hasn´t it?”
“Yep,” Vin nodded. “Ya got friends now, Ez. We´re more like a family than a team and I reckon that´s what you´s afraid of losin´.”
The undercover agent contemplated the idea for a moment as a smile slowly spread across his face. “I do believe, Mr. Tanner, that you may have hit the proverbial nail on the head.”
“I know it ain´t always easy to accept,” Vin continued quietly. “Took me a long time ta realize how important y´all´d become ta me.” He ducked his head briefly before raising it to meet his friend´s gaze once more. “Ain´t somethin´ I reckon either one of us has had before. Not wantin´ Collings or anybody else ta take that from ya don´t make ya self-centered or a bad person, Ez. It means ya care. An´ I ain´t got the words ta tell ya how much that means ta me.”
Ezra offered a warm smile. “I believe you just did, Vin. Thank you.”
Vin returned the smile with a nod.
“Now,” Standish winked. “As I assume our illustrious leader is pacing the halls rather impatiently by this time, I shall take my leave. Good night, Mr. Tanner.”
“Night, Ez.,” Vin replied.
Ezra exited the room to find Chris not pacing, but standing beside the door. “Everything OK?” the team leader asked, his green eyes showing a measure of concern.
“Everything is just fine, Mr. Larabee,” Ezra answered with a smile. Glancing at the closed door, he added, “I expect you to take exceptionally good care of our friend.”
“I´ll do my best,” Chris smiled.
“Then I´m confident I´m leaving him in good hands,” Ezra replied. “Good night, Mr. Larabee.”
Chris watched him for a moment, then turned to enter Vin´s room.
“Ezra looks like the weight of the world´s been lifted from him,” he mused as he approached the bed. “Been working that Texas charm of yours?”
“Naww,” Vin drawled with a shy smile. “Didn´t do nothin´ but give ‘im a minute to realize some things about hisself.”
Chris sank into the chair and leaned forward with his arms folded on the bed. “Well, then, how about you work some of that Texas charm on me?”
Vin reached out to run fingers lightly along Chris´ heavily stubbled jaw. “Don´t think neither of us is up for that,” he smiled. “Ya look tired, Chris. Why don´t ya go home and get some sleep.”
“Rather stay,” Chris murmured, turning to kiss the palm that stoked his face with such tenderness. “Like I said before, I kinda like watching you sleep.”
“Like watchin´ you sleep, too,” Vin replied on a chuckle. “But if we´re both watchin´, ain´t neither one of us gonna be sleepin´.”
Chris´ eyes narrowed. “Debbie was right; they´re putting something in that IV of yours. You´re not usually the sensible one when you´re hurt.”
Vin leaned closer to press his lips to his partner´s in a tender kiss. “Ain´t sensible,” he purred. “Just wanna hurry up ‘n´ get my strength back so´s I can show ya just how insensible I can be.”
“Mmmmm,” Chris murmured, nipping gently at the Texan´s lips as he pulled away. “Can´t wait.”
“That mean yer gonna get outta here and let me get some sleep?” Vin asked, blue eyes twinkling mischievously.
Chris sighed. “Don´t suppose you leave me much choice.”
Vin frowned slightly, taking in the haggard lines on his lover´s face. “Might wanna bunk in with J´siah,” he suggested. “Don´t like the idea of ya makin´ that long drive tired as ya are.”
“Maybe I will,” Chris agreed, “Don´t much like the idea of heading home to an empty house anyway.”
“Won´t be empty long, Chris,” Vin assured him. “I´ll be home before ya know it and you´ll be wishin´ for some´a that peace and quiet.”
“Can I count on that?” Chris teased.
“Ya better,” Vin replied with a quick kiss. “Now, go on, get outta here.”
+ + + + + + +
Though it had only been a week, it seemed much longer by the time Vin was ready to leave. True to his word, he was capable of walking out of the hospital, but policy still dictated he use a wheelchair.
“Almost wish Collings was still here,” he murmured as he lowered himself into the chair. “Nothin´ I´d like better than ta walk right on inta his room under my own steam.”
“We can always take a stroll on down to lockup if it´s that important to you,” Chris offered.
“Naww,” Vin sighed. “´S´alright Reckon I´d rather just get home.”
“Makes two of us,” Chris replied with a smile. “C´mon, let´s go.”
+ + + + + + +
Tanner slept through most of the drive and Chris didn´t miss one opportunity to glance over at the sleeping man. The bruises on his face had faded considerably as had the swelling around his eyes. The sling and cast were still present, but he was grateful that a wheelchair hadn´t had to be sent home with them. Vin was on his feet again, albeit slightly unsteady. With rest and exercise, he´d be back to full movement in no time.
When Chris stopped the truck in front of the ranch house, Vin immediately woke. “We home?” he asked in a sleep-roughened voice.
The blonde couldn´t believe how those two little words could warm his heart. “Yeah, we´re home,” he answered with a tender smile. “C´mon, let´s get you into the house.”
“I can do it,” Vin grumbled as his friend came around to help him from the passenger seat.
“I know you can,” Chris replied patiently. “But if it´s all the same to you, I´d rather get you inside in one piece. You fall over and re-injure that arm and I´m not going to be the one to explain it to Nathan.”
“Fine,” Vin huffed, allowing the other man to steady him. “Why didn´t ya just say you´s afraid´a him?”
“Oh?” Chris raised an eyebrow as they made their way slowly toward the house. “And you´re not?”
Vin had to allow a small snicker at that. “Let´s just say I ain´t ‘xactly up ta one of his lectures just now.”
“That´s what I thought,” Chris mumbled under his breath.
Once inside, Larabee gave him the option of resting on the sofa or going straight to bed.
“Reckon I´ve had ‘nuff of bein´ in bed ta last me a while,” he answered, making his way toward the den.
“Never thought I´d hear those words from you, pard,” Chris teased.
“Yeah, well, you ain´t likely ta hear ‘em again neither,” Vin chuckled. “Once I get m´strength back.” He lowered himself to the sofa and allowed a long sigh to escape his lips. “Reckon I´ll just stay here for the resta my life,” he mused in utter contentment.
“I´ll just dust the cobwebs off every once in a while,” Chris intoned, raising the other man´s legs carefully until he was in a reclining position, head resting on the pillows stacked there. “Comfortable?”
“Mmm-hmmm,” Vin murmured with his eyes closed. “Feels mighty good to be home, Chris.”
The blonde seated himself on the coffee table and leaned forward to stroke the hair from his partner´s forehead. “Feels good to have you home, too.” He continued to let his fingers trail over the handsome face, grateful for being able to touch his lover without fear of interruption. “Need anything?” he asked quietly.
Blue eyes opened and turned to meet green. “Just you,” he replied with a wicked smile.
“Don´t go getting any ideas in that head of yours, Cowboy,” Chris grinned, shaking his head. “No way you´re up to that just yet.”
“I know,” Vin sighed, his eyes taking on a longing look. “Just miss havin´ ya hold me, Chris.”
“Well that´s something I can take care of,” Chris smiled, leaning in to brush his lover´s lips with his own. “Think you could lie on your good side?”
Vin nodded and Chris moved to join him on the sofa, carefully aligning himself along the other man´s back. He pulled a quilt from the back of the long seat and covered them both before snaking one arm under his lover and cautiously sliding the other under the sling so that he was able to hold the lean body closely to his. “How´s that?” he murmured, kissing the top of the tousled head.
“Perfect,” Vin sighed, shifting slightly to snuggle even closer to the man at his back. He closed his eyes as the warmth of Chris´ arms enveloped him. “Just perfect.”
Chris grinned and continued to rain soft kisses on the shaggy, brown head before moving slowly downward to his neck. “God, Vin,” he breathed against the warm flesh. “You aren´t the only one who´s missed this. Just holding you, touching you, feeling you close to me. It´s like...” He allowed his words to trail off, unable to find any to adequately describe the feelings coursing through him.
“It´s like fallin´ in love all over again,” Vin whispered softly. “Like the first time we´s tagether and every time since all rolled up inta one.”
Chris found himself once again in awe of his lover´s ability to put words to such incredible emotions. “Yeah,” he whispered through a voice choked with emotion. “It´s just like that.” He pulled the lean body even closer and nuzzled his face in the silky curls. “I love you, Vin.”
“Love you too, Chris,” Vin mumbled sleepily.
+ + + + + + +
He hadn´t realized he´d drifted off until he awoke some time later. Vin still lay sleeping soundly in his arms and he allowed himself a moment to cherish the feeling before carefully trying to extricate himself from the Texan´s warm body.
Vin murmured something in his sleep, protesting the movement.
“Shhh,” Chris soothed. “Sorry, pard, but I´ve got to get up.”
“Stay,” Vin breathed on a sigh.
“I´d like nothing more,” Chris assured him with a soft kiss to the side of his face. “But you need to eat and it´s probably time for your pills.”
Vin didn´t respond at first and Chris thought maybe he´d drifted back to sleep until the tousled head turned to regard him with half-closed blue eyes. “No talkin´ ya out of it, huh?”
“Afraid not,” Chris chuckled. “You stay here and rest and I´ll see what I can whip us up for lunch.”
Vin nodded and didn´t protest again as Chris got up. Once on his feet, the blonde proceeded to tuck the quilt more securely around his lover. “Want anything in particular?” he asked.
“Ya already know what I want,” Vin teased with a smile. “And I´m very p´ticular.”
“Any of those wants of yours concern food?” Chris asked with a raised brow.
“Only if that´s m´only option.” Vin feigned a grimace.
“It is,” the blonde replied firmly. With a wink to soften the tone, he added, “For now, anyway.”
“In that case,” Vin sighed, “anything ya wanna make is fine.”
“Good,” Chris leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the mouth. “Be right back.”
They enjoyed a lunch of soup and sandwiches, the former in a mug rather than a bowl to make it easier for one-handed consumption. While they ate, they talked about the ongoing case against some of Bertolli´s contacts and the upcoming bust that was planned.
“Wish I could be there,” Vin admitted ruefully. “Don´t know´s I trust anyone else watchin´ yer backs.”
“We´re taking in Murphy from Team 5,” Chris informed him. “You said it yourself; he´s about the best there is next to you.”
Vin narrowed his eyes slightly. “Never said no such thing, Larabee.”
Chris shrugged. “OK, maybe I added that last part,” he admitted with a grin. “But you are the best; everybody knows it.”
“Always somebody better. And even if´n it were true, don´t mean I´d go around sayin´ it,” Vin grumbled, rubbing his shoulder absently.
The gesture hadn´t gone unnoticed. “Time for your pills,” Chris said, getting to his feet. He disappeared through the door to the kitchen just as the phone rang. In his move to answer it, Vin had gotten as far as sitting up before he heard a stern voice from the doorway. “Don´t even think about it, Tanner.”
He leaned back against the sofa with an exaggerated sigh and waited for Chris to finish the call. When he had, he went back to the kitchen before returning a few minutes later with Vin´s pills and a glass of water.
The smaller man ignored both, his gaze riveted to the tension in his lover´s face. “What´s wrong, Chris?”
“Take these,” Chris said, evading the question for the moment.
Silently, the Texan did as instructed, swallowing both pain pills and antibiotics with half the glass of water. When he´d finished, Chris took the glass and placed it on the coffee table before taking a seat beside Tanner and pulling the man close in an almost protective embrace.
“Tell me,” Vin rasped, Larabee´s silence and demeanour increasing his concern.
“Collings is back in hospital,” Chris said quietly. “He… he tried to hang himself in his cell.”
Vin´s fingers instinctively rose to touch the lingering abrasions at his own throat. He could remember the rope tightening, could almost feel the air being cut off. “Damn, Chris,” he croaked, wondering how desperate the man had to be to inflict that kind of suffering on himself intentionally.
“I know,” Chris soothed, stroking he silken hair with one hand while the other reached to still the fingers at his lover´s throat. “Don´t think about it, pard.”
If only he could take his own advice. All he could think about were the words he´d spoken to Josiah that first day in the hospital.
His career will be over. He´d rather die.
God, how close had Vin come to facing the same choices Collings had? While the final attempt at self-destruction had no doubt been brought on by his fear of going to prison, his ex-partner had obviously been destroying himself for some time and all because he´d lost the ability to do the job he´d always wanted to do.
He couldn´t bear to think of what Vin would have faced if he´d lost that same ability.
Vin felt his partner´s embrace tighten and knew the man well enough to realize the road his imagination was traveling.
“Never crossed my mind, Chris,” he said softly. Pulling away slightly to look into the green eyes, he continued. “Not for a second. Even if things´d turned out different, I´d still have way too much ta live for and I love ya way too much ta ever do that to ya.”
The green eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “Promise me you´ll always feel that way,” he whispered hoarsely.
“I promise,” Vin breathed, warmth and love shining in his eyes. “Ain´t many things in this life I can promise, Cowboy, but I can promise ya that.”
They drew together in a deep kiss filled with all the emotion two souls could possibly contain. And when they finally parted, their eyes took up the contact their lips had been forced to relinquish.
“I´m a lucky man, Vin Tanner,” Chris declared softly. “Do you know that?”
“Yeah, I know,” Vin smiled in response. “Reckon we both are.”
Chris pulled him close again and smiled as the Texan´s lean body snuggled in to his. “Yeah, I reckon you´re right.”