Page 0
Caption: The Magnificent Seven One Day Out West: A Cowboy Tale
Page 1
Chris (to Vin): Vin, I need to speak to you.
Vin: What is it, Chris?
Chris: I need to tell you how I feel, I've held it inside for so long.
Vin: It's not those beans I cooked for dinner, is it?
Chris: No, it's that I love you. I'm in love with you and I want to make sweet, sweet love to you all night long.
Vin. ...
Page 2
Vin: ...
Chris: Vin? Vin, speak to me. Tell me that you feel the same, my little love muffin.
Vin: ...
Chris: Vin?
Vin: Right. Er, we may have a problem.
Chris: What kind of problem?
Vin: I'm sleeping with JD.
Chris: ...
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Chris: You're sleeping with JD?
Vin: Yep.
Chris: You never said.
Vin: You never asked.
Chris. Oh. *pauses* Why?
Vin: What can I say? The kid's hung like a horse.
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Chris: So there's no chance you and me could...
Vin: Not really.
Chris: *pauses* I'm wearing a thong.
Vin: ...
Chris: It's gold lamé.
Vin: I think I should go now.
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Buck (to Chris): Hey, Chris.
Chris: Hey, Buck.
Buck: Whatcha doing?
Chris: Thinking about my lost love. And the fact that this thong is really riding high.
Buck: Thong?
Chris: It's gold lamé.
Buck: Tell Uncle Buck more...
Page 6
Vin (to JD): Babe, I just had the weirdest conversation with Chris.
JD: Yeah?
Vin: He told me he loves me.
JD: He's got good taste.
Vin: And that he's wearing a gold lamé thong.
JD: ...
Vin: JD?
JD: ...
Vin: JD?
JD: I think I've gone blind.
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Vin: JD? Darlin'?
JD: All I can see is black... And Chris in a gold lamé thong.
Vin: Is it a good mental iimage?
JD: I hate you.
Vin: How about if I get naked?
JD: *pauses* The light is coming back.
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Chris (to Buck): And then Vin said he's sleeping with JD!!
Buck: I don't blame him. Have you seen the kid when he's naked? Horses feel ashamed.
Chris: It's so unfair. All I want is someone to call my own. Someone to hold at night and come home to at the end of the day. All I want is love and understanding. *pauses* And possibly spanking.
Buck: ...
Chris: Was that too much information?
Buck: Nope. Not at all.
Chris: Good. *pauses* Your my bestest friend, Buck. Bestest friend in the whole world.
Buck: *pauses" So about this gold lamé thong thing...
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Chris (wearing only hat and gold lamé thong): Do you think I'm pretty, Buck?
Buck: Absolutely, Darlin'.
Chris: Prettier than JD?
Buck: Prettier than the prettiest girl in Mrs. Miggins whorehouse.
Chris: I love you Buck.
Buck: I love you, too, li'l' pardner.
Page 10
Vin (shirtless): How is it now?
JD: Better. I think I can see a nipple. Come closer so I can be sure.
Vin: If I rub it and make it bigger, will it be easier for you to see?
JD: Are we talking about the nipple? Or something else?
Vin: *pauses* I can rub anything you want, babe.
JD: *blinks* I can see! It's a miracle! Now get over and get nekkid.
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Nathan (to Ezra): Hi Ezra. I was looking for Chris. Have you seen him?
Ezra: *shudders* Yes. In fact, I have seen more of him than I ever wanted.
Nathan: Ez?
Ezra: Oh, Nathan. It was horrible! There was too much skin, too little gold lamé, and improper usage of a riding crop!
Nathan: Oh, love, what can I do to make it better?
Ezra: Just hold me, Nate. *pauses* Preferably naked.
Nathan: *nods* I can do that.
Page 11
Josiah overhearing conversations -
Ezra: Why Nathan, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just very pleased to see me?
Nathan: *laughs* Come over here, stud.
Chris: "Do you love me, Buck? Do you? Do you?"
Buck: What do you think, Chris baby? Now come here and give Daddy some tongue.
Chris: Oh. Buck! Spank me, love me, and call me Susan
Vin: Harder JD! Harder!
JD: Anything you say, Vin.
Josiah (thinking): *sigh* Never a moment's peace around here!
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JD in hat and net tank top.
Ezra in hat and in black corsette, pearls and earrings.
Buck in hat and in studded leather harness.
Vin in hat and shirtless.
Nathan in hat and black bra wearing beaded bracelets on both wrists.
Chris in hat and gold lamé thong.
Caption: The Magnificent Seven One Day Out West: A Cowboy Tale The End
Josiah (thinking) Thank God!