Someone Out There

CHAPTER VII

Buck was silently furious. He didn't add to the discussion, just stared at them all, at Chris, with quiet anger, while the team was going through the data on the murders Chris had dragged up. Especially Chris, Vin, Ezra and JD were talking. Like him, Nathan and Josiah were less enthusiastic about it all, but they let things be.

And so here he was, not outside where the barbecue was all set to go, but in the kitchen, watching while Chris, who was supposed to be his lover, his life companion, was sitting tightly wedged between Ezra and Vin, discussing animatedly with the two of them. Vin had thrown an arm around Chris, a silent support at his back, while he, Buck, suddenly found himself at the sideline. After all these weeks of keeping guard over Chris, he found himself shoved away like so much dirt.

What hurt the most, was that Chris had gone to Vin with his findings and not him. He knew he hadn't been too willing to accept what Chris had been trying to tell him. Hell, it was like Lassimer said, as a rule serial killers don't go for such different targets as these three victims. But why had Chris shut him out so totally, why had he bypassed him like this?

"I think you have a very plausible case, Chris" Ezra finally stated. "This many male rapes in one and the same district of Denver is no coincidence, however much the differences between cases and victims."

"Yeah, well, I think we've found some damn good explanations concerning Jamie bein' taken in the open and Chris living somewhere else. That only leaves the Miller kid a riddle, bein' younger and so different looking, not tall and blond like Chris and the other two boys."

"Boys, yeah, Chris ain't a boy," Buck said, but it was ignored.

"Haven't you considered that maybe the others might be the work of these two men, but Rick Miller might be by someone else entirely?" Josiah asked. "After all, Chris can identify them, they know that. It should have made them flee the scene." He picked up an article with a picture of the young boy. "Maybe someone was inspired by the other articles to do the same thing."

"Damn it, Josiah. I'm telling you they're out there! Watching..." Buck saw Chris duck his head in embarrassment, probably because he had voiced his fears. Fears Buck had been trying so hard to take away from him. Now, no thanks to Vin helping him with this, those fears had probably only gotten worse. He could kick them all for going along with this, didn't they see what it did to Chris?

But who cared about what he thought anyway? Certainly not the man he was supposed to be sharing his life with.

Josiah put a hand on Chris' shoulder. "Chris, you know I'm always willing to talk about this... this fear you have. And if you don't feel comfortable coming to me, as one of your men, I know some very good people who could help."

"Talk?" Chris savagely kicked his chair back while he stood up, his eyes shooting daggers at Josiah. "You mean talk about my obsession, don't you, Josiah? That's what you think this is, isn't it? Telling Buck that we should bring normalcy back into our lives. How can we do that when they're still out there, waiting, watching!"

He stalked outside, banging the kitchen door behind him.

"Nice goin', J'siah," Vin said disgusted, before he hurried after him.

"Yeah, well, this ends here and now." Nathan started collecting the papers and copies of articles, putting them neatly in de thick file folders lying around. "Chris should get some rest, he's still weak. So how about we make sure he gets that?"

Buck left the others and went after Chris and Vin. He hated that Vin had beaten him to it once again. Seemed like at the moment Vin was always around, always underfoot, making things between him and Chris only more difficult. He knew he should probably be glad Chris at least seemed to find some peace with Vin, but frankly, it just hurt too much.

When he stepped outside, Chris looked up at him from where he was seated on the porch stairs with Vin and the sadness in his eyes hit Buck to the core of his being. Then the eyes shuttered and Chris looked away.

"Why don't we get the barbecue going, Chris?" he asked softly. "We all need to eat and it won't hurt to relax some."

Chris shrugged. "Guess not," he admitted.

Together they walked to the barbecue Buck had already sat up, the coal by now glowing just right. He decided to immediately throw some of the biggest steaks on.

"So what're you going to do now?" he asked Chris.

"I'm going to Lassimer with this tomorrow."

"You want me to come too?"

Chris shrugged again. "Vin already offered, so you don't have to if you don't want to. He can take me to the doctor too."

"Right. If that's what you want."

"It's not what I want!" Chris suddenly spat, "it's what I get, isn't it?" He threw the steak he had picked up down on the barbecue without looking at it and limped away. Buck looked after him with surprise.

What the hell had Chris meant by that? He just didn't understand him anymore.

+ + + + + + +

All in all it hadn't been the best of days, Buck decided when the rest had left, earlier than usual for a gathering at the ranch. Everyone had felt the tension between them, between Buck and Chris, between Buck and Vin, between Chris and Josiah, hell, even JD had reacted awkward around them all, giving Buck looks that seemed to change from faintly disgusted to guilt ridden.

He stared after the kid, speeding away on his Kawasaki, with longing. To just go back to the condo, fighting JD for the remote, throwing peanuts at each other, kicking their stuff aside when it was occupying an inconvenient part of the floor, it all sounded mighty fine to him right now. Fine and relaxing, without the tension he could feel seeping out of the house behind him.

Out of Chris.

The wind had picked up and the air was turning August crispy. He shivered a little. No sense in standing here indefinitely, he had work to do and he better started before Chris decided he was fit enough to break the barbecue down or lift chairs, or something equally unhealthy for his still recovering body.

Chris wasn't doing any of those things, Buck was just in time in the back yard to see him enter the barn.

Damn that man!

Most was already cleaned up by team effort and besides the barbecue and some chairs spread over the grass there wasn't much left to do, but still it would have been nice to see Chris at least take some part in it. Buck seriously contemplated to let it all be. Finally he did clean away the last stuff, banging it around a lot, because it beat hanging in a chair stewing. This way he could at least vent some of his anger.

It was while he was putting the stronger liquor back in the bar, that he heard Chris' uneven gait going up the stairs.

The bastard hadn't even come in to say something to him.

It was more than Buck could take. With a curse he ran upstairs, determined to give Chris a piece of his mind. The bedroom was empty when he came upstairs. Without even thinking about it, he barged straight into the bathroom, fuming.

"Damn it, Chris! I organized the whole barbecue! I even cleaned afterwards! The least you can do is tell me you're going to bed!"

Chris turned around slowly, listlessly, again with that stony, unreadable expression on his face. He had already taken off his shirt and his pants were down around his ankles.

Buck swallowed. Suddenly he realized he hadn't seen Chris naked in weeks and despite the anger he harbored, his cock instantly rose up, despite the confinements of his pants. Before the last weeks of hell Chris would have immediately looked down at his crotch with a knowing smirk, but yeah, that was before. Now those shuttered, unreadable eyes were fixed on his face.

"All right," the blond said softly, "I'm going to bed." Then he turned, kicked out his pants, towed off his socks and stepped inside the shower cubicle.

The bite marks still showed, as did the deepest of the scratches and the two neatly stitched knife wounds on his back. Knowing the attack on Chris had been so infinitely worse than the marks seemed to indicate tore at Buck's heart.

"Damn it, Chris," he said, anger turning back into grief and pain.

Chris' furious answer jolted him right back to the here and now. "I didn't ask you to organize that barbecue! I didn't ask you to come here, either. Hell, I don't even know why you're here in the first place!"

"What? You know why I'm here! I'm trying to protect you!"

"I don't want you to protect me!" Chris yelled. "That's not what I want at all!"

The words were like a cold shower. "You don't want me to protect you?" he asked, in utter disbelief. "Let me get this straight! First you don't want me out on the streets, trying to find these bastards. No you also don't want me to protect you. What do you want?"

"I've told you what I want, repeatedly," Chris said coldly. Then he shoved the shower door close, effectively shutting Buck out. Buck cursed, but all Chris did in answer was open the taps and let the water noisily cascade down his body.

Buck was trembling by now. He didn't need this. He certainly didn't need the pain and anguish of the last weeks in which he had seen Chris slowly turn away from him. Stumbling, he turned and walked out. Out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, straight out of the house. He ran up to his pickup and drove off, tires screeching.

It was only when he came to the end of the small mountain road, just before turning onto the highway leading to Denver, that he came to his senses.

He stopped the car and set staring into the dark, fighting the turmoil inside. He couldn't do this. He couldn't leave Chris like this, all alone and still vulnerable. He could never do that. He would go back and call Vin, since that was who Chris wanted anyway. Then, when Vin had arrived, he would go back to the condo and get his life back on track. And maybe forget about him and Chris and how it all suddenly had gone to hell so completely. The most beautiful thing he had ever had, gone, just gone because of one act of brutal violence.

"God, Chris," he whispered. Then he turned the truck and headed back, his heart heavy in his chest.

+ + + + + + +

Chris had let the water cascade over him, as hot as his skin could bear. He tried not to cry, not to give in to his feelings of desolation and hopelessness, but he failed miserably. He had lost Buck. He had lost the one thing that had put him back on track, had made life bearable, even beautiful again after he had lost Sarah and Adam.

All because of what some sick animals had done to him.

There, under the hot spurt of water, he finally let go of the cold despair that had been lodged in his heart from the very first moment he had realized Buck had withdrawn himself from him, from what he had become after those two men had taken him and had had their way with him.

Damaged goods...

He let himself glide down the tiles until he was sitting, gulping huge breaths of air while he tried to fight off the utter despair he was feeling.

He didn't know if he wanted to go on like this, his days cold and empty without Buck, his nights filled with the hands and cocks of his two attackers hurting him again and again.

The coldness of the water finally brought him back out of his grief. He was shivering when he got out of the shower. Wrapping two towels around him, he stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

From the corner of his eye he thought he saw something move....

His instincts kicked in, but he was too late. Something heavy landed on his head and he fell down. He groaned and tried to push himself up again, but hands grabbed hem, hands pulled away the towels, turned him on his back and grabbed his cock. Something cold and sharp was held against his shaft and balls and instantly he froze.

"See? Thought you might want to keep these." The smile was as mean as he remembered, the knife as big. The other one let go of his arms, but before he could try and find out what he was planning, something was wrapped around his throat. He gasped, fighting desperately for air, while the other man now used the blade of his knife to push his legs wide, cutting him while he did it.

He clawed at the strap held tight around his neck, desperate for air, desperate for a means to escape. Just when he was about to pass out, the leather strap was loosened enough for him to take in some huge gulps of air.

His legs were pushed upwards, lifting his ass up enough for something to be pushed between his cheeks, but before he could struggle, the strap was pulled tight again.

"Finally you're alone," the one holding the strap whispered in his ear. "So beautiful... we wanted you again, we wanted you more than once from the moment we saw you. And this time, this time, we'll do it right."

Oh God, not again, not again!

The roar of a truck sounded from outside and the two men looked up, startled. The strap loosened enough for Chris to catch some breath.

"Someone comes!" the one between his legs hissed, brandishing his knife.

"No time for fun, let's just kill him."

"Fuck! What a waste!"

Yes, he could breath! It brought him back to awareness enough to grasp his change and work his fingers under the strap, determined not to let the one behind him succeed in strangling him for real. Then he kicked out savagely, connecting with something soft.

The man between his legs grunted and Chris kicked again. The one behind him pulled on the strap, but Chris' fingers were in place and he held on, pulling at it with all the strength he could muster, while his other arm lashed out backwards. A yelp and he felt the strap come loose. He wrenched it from his throat, while at the same time he rolled away. A knife flashed down where he had been only seconds before. He rolled on, until he was on his stomach and could push himself up, fast. Again a knife slashed down, this time embedding itself in his side. He grunted, but kept moving forward, not to the door, but to his bed.

That move surprised his two attackers, who had been sure he would try and flee through the door. Instead he lunged for the nightstand at his side of the bed, wrenched open the small drawer and grabbed his gun. He turned, aimed and fired.

The bullet flew through the open doorway harmlessly, the two men already in the hallway, running. Some instinct had warned them at the last moment. With an oath he pulled the knife out of his side, choking back a scream. Ignoring the blood, he managed to push himself to his feet, determined to bring the two down and finally end this. He was at the top of the stairs just in time to see them disappear down the hallway. Before he was halfway down, he heard them open the front door, followed by the crunching of footsteps on gravel.

The truck engine was very loud now and he thought he heard it skid to a halt.

It was of no importance to him, the two men were and the fact that he was going to be too late to get them if he didn't hurry. He managed to stay on his feet during his mad descent until the last few steps. There his body gave up and he fell, rolling down and landing hard on the floor tiles of the hallway. He had just pushed himself up, when a shadow appeared in the open doorway. He was already aiming when the shadow put up his hands, shouting, "Wait, wait, Stud, it's me, Buck! I'm Buck!"

"Buck?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yeah. Just... just let me get the light, all right? I'm keeping my hands up, see? Here's the light switch and then you'll see it's only good ol' me...."

He blinked when the light flooded the hallway, but he saw it was unmistakably his long time friend.

"Buck," he whispered and then everything went black.

+ + + + + + +

"About God damn time!" Buck yelled when he saw Lassimer enter the hallway to the ER. "Now you gonna listen to Chris?"

"Like you were so keen on listenin' to him," Vin muttered angrily. Buck swiveled around, ready to punch anything, including Vin, only to find Josiah in his way.

"I think that's enough Buck. From you too, Vin!" he added sharply when Vin started to mutter something else. Vin threw up his hands, gave Buck a dirty look and walked farther into the hallway.

"Ahem," Lassimer said, a bit puzzled. "I thought I was here to see Chris? So what's this all about? Oh, never mind, I rather go inside and see Chris."

"Yeah, you do that. He's here."

Buck knocked on the door. "Can we get in now?"

The door opened, showing a doctor who didn't seem too pleased. "I'm ready with the stitches, so I guess."

"Fine." Buck strode past him, right up to the examination table where Chris was lying under a sheet, pulled up to just under a pristine white bandage wrapped tightly around his waist. He looked up when he heard them enter and nodded to the detective.

"Chris, what happened?" Lassimer asked.

"Told you they'd come back." Chris' voice was low, raspy and he swallowed as if it had been painful to talk. Buck knew for a fact it was painful for him to talk, the doctor had been very clear about the state of Chris' throat when he had informed them about the condition of his patient. He had also been very clear about the fact that he didn't want Chris to talk at all.

But this had to happen.

"You won't be able to drill him like the other time," he warned Lassimer, stepping closer to Chris. "His throat's been hurt. Bastards 've been trying to strangle him."

"So you've already stated," Lassimer said. He was looking at Chris while he spoke. "Benton, you know, my partner, let me know that they found some kind of leather strap in your bedroom. They think that was what was used around your neck. And they also found a bloody knife there. They are on their way to be examined for fingerprints."

"Good," Buck said, stopping himself from clasping Lassimer on the back. That was good, fingerprints were always good! "Anything on the DNA yet?"

"Yes, they found two distinct DNA's. Once we have who attacked Chris, we can immediately put them away for life. But if you don't mind, I would rather focus on what happened this time." Lassimer turned his whole attention to Chris. "Can you tell me what happened, Chris?"

"They were inside, in... in my bedroom when I came out of the shower," Chris whispered. He winced, one hand going to his throat and the doctor stepped forward.

"Don't let him talk too much, or I'm going to end this," he warned. He pointedly stayed near, crossing his arms in a gesture that said louder than words he wasn't going anywhere.

Buck smiled at the man gratefully. This one would keep Chris safe. He turned to Lassimer. "Let me fill you in on what I know first, should save Chris a whole bundle of questions. When Chris was alone in the house yesterday evening, those two bastards came back and tried to kill him. Luckily they were distracted by my return. I... I thought I saw some movement when I rode up to the house, but I didn't really think anything about it. It wouldn't be the first time some deer came into the yard. When I walked up, I saw the door was open and that set off my alarm bells. When I went in I met the nuzzle of Chris' gun. He had managed to get down the stairs, but he was pretty out of it, bleeding all over the place...." Buck swallowed, remembering the grueling sight of Chris lying their, his naked body covered with blood and his eyes wild. He had been so frightened at first that it had happened again, that Chris had gone through the same thing again, only because Buck had left him alone.

How could he have left Chris alone?

Lassimer nodded and turned back to Chris. "Were they... did they..."

Chris shook his head. "Were going to, but when they heard the truck they stopped," he rasped. "And then I managed to free myself and get my gun." He coughed and grasped for the water beside his bed. Buck was instantly with him to lift his head, wanting to help him drink, but with an indignant glare Chris pushed himself up completely and took the glass from him.

Lassimer waited until Chris stopped drinking before he asked his next question. "And it was them, you are certain?"

Chris nodded, his eyes flashing with anger for a second, before shuttering again.

"Damn!" Lassimer began to pace, cursing. "You were right all along that they would want to silence you. We need to put a guard on you."

"No, you don't! We'll guard him, like we did before," Buck said savagely. "We can handle it."

"Like you did tonight?"

Buck wanted to scream at that, scream that he knew damn well he had screwed up. Instead he said stiffly, "We didn't know for sure before this night. You yourself didn't belief they would be back."

"I know, I know!" Lassimer sounded frustrated. "Who the hell would've thought they would! Sick, crazy bastards." He pulled up a chair and fished a pen and notepad out of his breast pocket. "All right, let's get all the details straight. Chris, let's start at the beginning of this."

"Oh no!" The doctor immediately stepped between Lassimer and his patient, not stopped by the tight fit between chair and bed. "No way! Enough! This man goes to a room and will be left alone for the rest of the night, do I make myself clear? Betty? Get a hospital gown for Mister Larabee and someone with a wheelchair, so we can transport him to where it is quiet." The word 'quiet' was said with force and was accompanied by an angry scowl.

"But," Lassimer tried. Then he sighed and shook his head. "I guess we know enough to get on with our investigation."

Nobody paid Chris' feeble attempts to protest any mind and within two minutes he was settled in a wheelchair. That was when he finally really looked at Buck. The lost, desolate gaze in those normally so vibrant green eyes cut right through Buck, making him gasp. He was at Chris' site before he could think about it, kneeling down and cupping Chris' face with one hand.

"I'll be here, Chris," he said softly. "I won't leave you again."

"I'll be there too," Vin said from the doorway, a challenge in his voice. "Just to make sure."

"Butt out, Vin."

"No."

"Gentlemen, my patient doesn't need this, whatever it is. So either behave, or leave. Betty, escort these gentlemen to a waiting room where they can wait until their friend is settled. Now," the doctor said pointedly, crossing his arms again and staring at the group of men hovering in the doorway, "or I'll call security."

After Chris was settled in his room, his six men were allowed inside for a few minutes to say their goodbyes to Chris, promising to see him in the morning and then it was only Buck and Vin. They weren't allowed to stay inside the room itself, but since Chris was now officially under police protection they could camp at the door. Silence reigned between them. Vin clearly didn't want to talk to him and after tonight Buck didn't blame him.

He had failed Chris, failed him miserably. Just the thought of what would have happened if he hadn't turned back made his stomach crawl.

Chris would have been raped again and this time he would have been slaughtered as well, those two maniacs would have seen to that.

God, why hadn't he taken the threat more seriously? He had been guarding Chris, but that was more to try and make Chris feel safe, not because he actually thought the bastards would come back.

His bad mood had almost lost him Chris and he couldn't really cope with that.

Yeah, he could understand Vin very well.

CHAPTER VIII

Chris was glad for his throat, still hurting after two days at the hospital, especially after last night. It gave him the perfect excuse not to talk. And he really didn't want to talk. He just wanted to hide.

Vin and Buck had been on silent vigil all three nights in the hospital, the others spelling them during the day. Last night he had had a vivid nightmare, worse even than the ones before, maybe because he knew he was going home today. Both Vin and Buck had come running into his room when he awoke screaming, setting the healing of his throat completely back, but it had been Vin who had held him and that hurt more than he could say, even now, even when he knew things were over between him and Buck.

But then, it hadn't really been his choice, had it, to end it? He still so much longed to have Buck's arms around him, to have him back as his shelter in life, his second big love. Not in a million years would he have expected it would end like this, with Buck still around, only no longer his. No longer... interested. Truth, at first that was exactly what he had been afraid of, since the longest Buck had ever managed with one and the same partner had been all of two months, if that. But finally, when they had been a year together, he had dared to relax in this relationship like he had relaxed in his and Sarah's.

They had been going on to their second year anniversary, with Buck planning big things he wasn't supposed to know anything about and he had been looking forward to it.

In fact, he had been making some plans as well.

"We're here," Vin said softly, awakening him out of his reverie. The door of the Ram opened, Buck standing before him to help him out with eyes so sorrowful and full of... Chris couldn't name it anymore, frankly, he started to get confused. If Buck so clearly didn't want him any longer, had so adamantly refused to come to bed with him, or to even hold him or kiss him, then why was he acting in other ways as if they were still together?

He felt Vin slip out after him and the arm reaching to support him. He sighed and pushed them both away. He could walk and he certainly didn't need to be propped up between the two.

"You should eat something, Chris," Buck said softly when they stepped inside the house.

His house. Gone the dream that maybe one day he and Buck could live here openly and it would be their house. He carefully walked to the stairs, the new cuts at the inside of his legs smarting enough to make moving even with only sweatpants on uncomfortable.

Worse was his side, the one where the knife had slashed deep. The one Buck had been keeping pressure on, screaming for him to hold on, to keep on fighting, until the ambulance had been there.

Buck's anguish had been a huge part of what had made him hold on doggedly. That clear and real anguish had given him hope Buck had decided that he still wanted Chris after all.

And how often could a man lose huge amounts of blood without getting brain damage anyway? Because why ever would Buck want him back? Nothing had changed, nothing at all. He still bore the marks of these men and that would never change.

Oh God, not ever.

He should go upstairs, but he couldn't, he just couldn't.

He turned away from the stairs and went into the living room, ignoring Buck's and Vin's protests. He took the big pillow from the recliner, threw it on the couch, brushed off the smaller pillows, grabbed the quilt hanging over the couch's back and settled himself on his uninjured side. Then he closed his eyes. If that didn't get the message through to those two hardheads, he didn't know what could.

He woke up to a soothing voice, still gasping from a nightmare. When he opened his eyes, he saw Buck kneeling down beside him.

"Buck?" he managed to rasp.

"You can go to sleep now, Chris. You're safe. I promise you're safe, I ain't gonna leave you again." Buck smiled at him and went to sit in the recliner, settling his gun in his lap. "I'll be here."

That did it. Angry he pushed himself up and even managed to get off the couch without falling flat on his face.

"Chris? Chris, what's wrong suddenly? Oh, hell! Won't you even talk to me?"

In the kitchen Vin was making coffee.

"Sleep all right?"

He nodded and gingerly sat down at the table, accepting a mug gratefully.

Buck was standing in the door opening, watching him.

"You want coffee?" Vin asked him.

"Nah. Gonna take a look around, make sure everything is closed up properly." Then he was gone and a moment later they heard a window slam shut.

Chris couldn't help it, he suddenly felt a rush of tears escaping him. He hated that! It was one of the side effects of being so weak, so hurting and with pain medication inside to booth.

"He just wants ta protect you," Vin said softly.

"Don't... don't want him to protect me," he whispered, ignoring the feeling as if sand was scorching his throat, "I just want him to hold me. You said he needed time, but he hasn't touched me, not once, since..." He couldn't go on, he just couldn't. And why had he said anything in the first place?

Vin kneeled down beside him and then arms were around him after all and he was held, tightly, while the tried to stop shaking, tried to stop the tears from flowing.

Just not by Buck, not by his lover.

He felt like he was breaking in too many tiny pieces to ever be put back together again.

+ + + + + + +

It was difficult to be around Chris, but Buck adamantly refused to leave him and let others take over his guard duty. He had made a promise to Chris and he aimed to keep it. He wasn't going to leave him alone again, ever, until those two monsters were caught, no matter that Chris was now so distant to him. He would just bear the pain of seeing him and not being with him.

But God, it was like a stab through the heart every time something reminded him of those times together, of the hot sex and the loving cuddling afterwards. Buck had always been one for the cuddling as much, if not more as for the sex, no matter what everyone thought of him. And it had been a wonderful revelation that Chris loved cuddling at least as much as he did.

It was damn hard to watch a movie and not be cuddled up with Chris. He missed the moments in bed when Chris sought him out like a heat seeking missile sought out its targets even when he was asleep, putting cold feet between Buck's warm legs. And he longed for the kisses they would quickly share in passing, for all the tiny, loving touches when they were around each other, unable to keep their hands off.

Ruined, gone, all lost.

"Buck?"

Josiah, who shared watch duty with him today, gave him a mug of coffee and he took it gratefully, wrapping his hands around it. Josiah sighed. "I can assure you, Buck, that despite what some cultures may believe staring into your coffee won't provide any answers. I recommend talking instead."

"Talking? Again?" Buck snorted. "And what about this time? About not believing Chris and leaving him wide open to a second attack, just because I got pissed?"

"Or maybe about why you became angry in the first place?"

That stopped the train of thoughts endlessly looping through his brain. "Why I was angry? Oh, hell, Josiah, I don't think that hardly matters."

"On the contrary, brother, I think it matters a lot. Why, after all those weeks of being there for Chris, being with him as much as you could, did you suddenly get mad enough to leave him?"

"Hell, I don't know! Just... the way Chris was carrying on about these two mad dogs, kept seeing them outside his home, watching him, kept going on and on about all these murder cases. I had enough, you know. Only, he turned out to be right after all, didn't he? So where does that leave me? How can I protect him all the time?"

He just felt so desperate.

"You can't," Josiah immediately said. "You just can't, like Chris can't let go of what happened to him. This isn't something he will ever forget, Buck, ever."

"You think I don't know that? I just... I just wished I could, you know, do something. Get something from our former life back. It was good, Josiah, damn good. But now I've lost him, now it's Vin he goes to, instead of me!"

Josiah shook his head and stood up. When Buck looked at him, surprised that his friend dropped out of the conversation he had started himself so fast, he saw a very sad expression on Josiah's face.

"What?" he asked defensively.

"Just... have you ever wondered why he goes to Vin instead of you, Buck? Why you feel you have lost him? Because I think a love like you two had only disappears when you let it slip away yourself." With those words Josiah disappeared back inside the house, leaving Buck holding on to his coffee mug for dear life.

+ + + + + + +

Chris had gone upstairs to get some new clothes and besides, he wanted to take a long, hot shower, he needed one. He blanched when he stepped into his bedroom and saw the place on the floor where he had been pinned down. Involuntarily he stepped back, right against Buck's broad chest.

For a brief moment he had the hope Buck would put his arms around him, but then his partner stepped away, leaving him reeling with disappointment.

"Is that why you slept in the den last night, Chris?" Buck asked softly. "Damn, I should've thought about that. I'll make up the guestroom for you, Vin won't mind the couch."

While Buck's footsteps receded, Chris stared first at the floor and then at the king size bed he had bought after he finally dared to believe he and Buck would stay together. He shuddered. Then, forgetting about clothes and showers, he fled downstairs, back to the den, where he again settled himself on the couch. Vin, back from the office, came in and sat down in the recliner, watching him. From the kitchen came the banging of pots and pans and the soft humming of Josiah, cleaning up after dinner before he would go home.

After a while Vin said softly, "You might tell 'im what you feel, make it clear?"

"What's there to say?" he rasped, his voice still not worth much. "Just... I don't understand why he keeps hanging around if he doesn't... doesn't want me anymore. I don't get it."

"Talk to 'im, Cowboy. Just talk to him."

"Talk to who?" Buck was standing in the doorway, scowling at Vin. Then he looked at Chris. "I've made the bed in the guestroom, Chris. Won't you be more comfortable there? Come, I'll bring you up."

"No, I'm good."

"Chris..." Chris closed his eyes and after a while he heard Buck leave.

That night it was Vin who was with him first when he woke up screaming. Buck came running too, hair disheveled, gun in hand and wet from the soft rain outside.

"You're safe, Chris," he stated, "you can trust us, you really are safe."

He held onto Vin, until he finally fell back into a restless sleep.

+ + + + + + +

The sun was shining again the next morning. Chris was sitting on the porch, nursing a cup of coffee, trying not to think of all those mornings he and Buck had been making love, lazy or steaming hot. His cock stirred and hastily he tried to think of something else. When he heard a soft noise behind him, he turned eagerly, glad for Vin's company. It would distract him from his thoughts.

It wasn't Vin, it was Buck, looking exhausted, like he always did these days.

"You don't look too happy to see me," Buck said. He also had a cup of coffee in his hand and plunged himself in the chair next to Chris. He took a few swallows and then looked at Chris. "I know I let you down hard, Sunday, but Chris, I won't let that happen again, I swear."

Chris sighed and leaned back. "When was the last time you had a good night sleep, Buck? Go to bed and catch up. Vin should be up soon."

"Bed? No, no, I have to stay here, keep guard."

"Dammit!" he yelled while he threw away the coffee mug, ignoring the pain in his throat. "Stop it, just stop it! I don't need you to guard me! No one can guard me but me! I need you to hold me, to at least come to bed with me!"

The burning sensation in his throat stopped him, making him even regret having to breath. He didn't look at Buck, refused to look at Buck. Then his longtime friend was beside him, pushing a glass of water in his hand.

"Here," Buck said gently. "That yelling wasn't too smart, was it?"

He took the glass and drank gratefully. Finally he found the courage to look at Buck. "It's all right," he whispered, "you don't have to stay and hover around, really you don't. I know you don't wanna touch me and I understand." His eyes went back to the glass. "I feel dirty too, Buck."

"Dirty?" Buck reeled back as if slapped. "Oh, my God, is that what you think I think? You're not dirty! Those bastards, they could never, ever touch the things that make me love you!"

"Than what is it? What? Why won't you touch me anymore?"

"Chris..." Buck knelt down beside him, gripping his arm. "Chris, I have to stop them, I can't let it happen again."

"You didn't let anything happen!"

"But I did! You were hurt and I still went out with the boys, even stayed in Denver! If I hadn't left you here all by yourself, wounded and full of pain pills I made you take, unable to defend yourself, none of this would've happened, don't you see that? How can you not see that! And I did the same thing Sunday, I left you again! I know damn well it's all my fault! I should've been here to protect you when you needed me and I wasn't! Twice now!"

Chris straightened. "I told you, you can't protect me. Not you, not the police. All I can do is protect myself."

Buck's hand landed on his thigh. It made him shiver, it had been so long....

"What if they come back?"

"They will. And we'll both be ready for them." Suddenly, with the feelings Buck's hand on his thigh called up, he wasn't above begging anymore. He so much needed some shelter against what had happened to him, a shelter only Buck was able to give him. "Can't you just hold me?" he whispered. "Maybe nothing else, but at least h... hold me a little?"

"You would let me? After... after all that happened?"

"Buck, please, don't... don't make me ask again!"

Immediately Buck wrapped his long arms around him and Chris sighed, not believing he was finally where he had been longing for weeks to be.

"So that's why you retreated from me, because you thought... God, I'm so sorry, Chris," Buck whispered. "I... I really messed up and it made me almost lose you, didn't it? You survived those bastards and then I almost lose you through my own stupidity."

"Sssh," Chris whispered back.

They set there for a long while, Chris leaning in Buck's arms.

The cold, hard lump crushing his heart had finally been lifted.

+ + + + + + +

Vin crossed his arms, a look of determination on his face.

"Why me? You go shoppin'."

"Hell, I can't leave Chris! I need to tuck him in!"

"Buck!" Chris hissed, cursing his still faltering voice. The big grin answering him made him stop, though. It was a special kind of grin, the kind that promised things would get interesting as soon as Buck got the chance.

"Vin, go shopping," he rasped, his eyes never leaving Buck's.

"Now you're making up! With food and drinks almost gone and only me around to get some new stock! Figures. Oh, all right, just get upstairs where I don't have to hear or see. That's the last think I need, witness you two!" He walked away rolling his eyes, while he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.

The last thing Chris heard was "Ezra? Weren't you comin' up next for Larabee watch? How 'bout you comin' up early, very early, and do some shopping? And don't you dare bring only that fancy stuff, bring something that fills a man! Oh, and beer. And Ezra...," then Buck was distracting him with a warm, lingering kiss. It was only Buck's strong arms that held him up when the kiss got more intense. Deliciously, almost unbearably intense.

"God, it's been so long," he whispered when their lips finally parted. Instantly he regretted his words when he saw the guilt in Buck's eyes.

"Chris, I..."

"No, let's stop this! You tried to do what you thought was right."

"And in the process I hurt you as much as those bastards did."

"Buck? Can we please drop this? We were doing just great a few seconds back." He coughed. "And don't make me talk so much!" he barely managed to whisper.

"All right, no talking." The mischief was back in those deep blue eyes. "I'll just settle for some moans and whimpers then."

"Bu..." His lips were taken in a kiss that effectively silenced him. "Upstairs," Buck breathed when they had to come up for air. Chris nodded mutely. He could do this, he could get into his room and his bed with this man at his side.

Buck would make all the difference.

+ + + + + + +

Buck woke up after the first night of good sleep in ages, feeling as he had at Christmas mornings when he was a child. The armful of male body he was holding immediately explained why he felt that way and he couldn't stop the huge and probably silly grin from breaking free. Yes, he was holding Chris, something he had despaired of ever being able to do again, certain that Chris had to be blaming him for what had happened.

But here he was, back where he belonged, with Chris.

Carefully he shifted a little, so he could study the naked man in his arms. Even after almost two years he couldn't believe it was a man who had made him settle down. But it was.

He could only be grateful that after his grief had lost its sharpest edges, Chris had slowly, hesitantly, started to answer his love. And hanging out on the sofa before the TV, long trail rides or fishing on the banks of the many beautiful waters in the Colorado Mountains had grown into something more.

He never did recall how their first kiss had actually come to be, he was just glad it had. And that Chris had trusted him enough to show him how sex between men could be a good thing, a real good thing.

Carefully he eased the blankets down so he could have a good look at that beautiful body lying so trusting in his arms. He winced when he saw the stark discoloration around Chris' neck, the new marks Chris' body was now carrying, the no longer pristine white bandages around his midsection.

A soft sigh escaped his lover and he froze, not wanting to wake him up just yet. He wasn't done with feasting his eyes.

Soon though he couldn't keep his hands from joining the exploration and while one arm kept cradling Chris, the other embarked on a journey of discovery over still too pale flesh.

"Gonna have you sunbathing in the buff pretty soon again, Chris," he whispered. "Hopefully we have some good weather left and we can take a blanket with us into the mountains."

"Hmmm?" Chris asked, slowly, still sleepily, arching into Buck's caresses. Buck decided some kisses should be thrown into the bargain as well and this time he would start with a nipple.

It didn't take him long before he had Chris moaning, his legs falling open while Buck's hand expertly fondled him. The green eyes were still closed, but Buck knew by the ardent reaction of the body under his hand that Chris was fully awake now and completely with him.

He grinned evilly. Yesterday it had all been about satisfying Chris, something Buck had felt a big need for. After an initial protest from Chris who had wanted to take his turn in pleasing Buck, his lover had finally succumbed and let Buck lose some of his feelings of guilt by making sure Chris had the best time ever, despite some wounds still restricting his movements a little.

It had been great and Buck couldn't remember the last time he had come so hard himself. But this morning Buck wanted something more.

His hand left Chris' cock, which led to a soft protest and dove between Chris' ass cheeks. There he rubbed Chris' opening until his lover was moaning in want.

"Hold on to that, Chris," he whispered softly. "Hold on to that moan, 'cause it's gonna be the only sound you'll be able to make for a good long while. I'm gonna make sure you won't come for a really long time!"

"Buck?" Chris' eyes were open now, although he didn't stop wriggling against the teasing finger. "Buck, I want to do something for you now after all you did yesterday afternoon and last night."

"Yeah? You wanna do what I need?"

Chris nodded, mutely, making Buck's cock, already hard from playing with Chris' body, twitch almost painfully.

"You sure?"

Again Chris nodded.

"All right, then here is what I want, 'cause there's nothing that turns me on more. I want to make sure you don't come for a good, long time and you're gonna help me do it, won't you, Larabee? You'll warn when you feel you're getting close, won't you?"

Chris groaned as Buck's finger started playing the rim of his hole, unable to answer.

"What I want, what I really want, Chris, is for you to be on edge and stay there, while I come inside you. And then I'll tease you some more and you still won't come and you know why?"

"N... no..."

Buck's hand crept upward, toying with Chris' balls and then grabbing the thick, throbbing shaft, making Chris arch and moan again.

"Jesus, Chris!" he breathed, watching the flustered face with the eyes half mast and those sensual lips half open in another soft moan, "damn, but nothing turns me on more than seeing you like this and that's what I want, after I've come, to still have you like this so I'll get a hard-on fast again. So I'll come twice, while you...," he lowered his head and gave Chris' cock a long lick from base to tip, making Chris whimper, "are totally helpless and all mine. Really mine. Promise to help me achieve that?"

He took Chris' cock in his mouth and sucked hard, once, making Chris buck.

"Promise?"

The green eyes opened and looked at him with so much love, it took Buck's breath away.

"Promise," Chris whispered.

Buck smiled and nodded, hurriedly reaching over to grab the lube.

Yesterday he had ascertained Chris would be physically up to this and today he would act on it. He would make sure Chris couldn't move too much and burst some stitches, but he was also going to make sure Chris would have nothing on his mind but sex and pleasure the rest of the morning.

He had to do this. It was high time to make Chris forget for a while the last three weeks of hell.

Also the idea of having Chris suck him off while the man was in high need to come himself was a thought that almost made him come right then and there.

Yeah, this morning was going to be even better than yesterday.

+ + + + + + +

Chris was no more than a boneless puddle on the bed and he loved it. God, he had missed this! He could hear Buck finishing his shower and still he couldn't move, he just couldn't, he could only lie there and enjoy the utter satisfied feel of his body, the tingle in his hole and the sensitive feel of his shaft.

But these feelings were just a background, an aside. All of Chris' attention was on the bathroom door. Buck would soon come through that door and he better do it naked. Chris wanted to see him, feast his eyes on him. He hadn't been able to do that to his full satisfaction yet, what with Buck's skillful hands constantly distracting him.

The bathroom door opened and Chris immediately came to full attention. God, Buck was beautiful, so damn beautiful. Look at those long legs, the skin rippling over hard muscles, his dick, never small, swinging freely between his legs, dark curls accentuating its beauty.

He couldn't help the sigh that escaped him when he saw all that male loveliness, all for him.

Buck sighed as well. "Damn, Larabee, you're a sight for sore eyes. I take it back when I said you're at your most beautiful when you're all aroused, wriggling, panting and begging me for release. Maybe this is even more beautiful, seeing you so completely sated."

Chris felt the blush rise on his face at Buck's words, as much for the memory of his shameless behavior to get Buck to finally allow him to come as for the heat he saw in Buck's eyes.

Buck said it all so easily, showed what he felt so easily, why couldn't he do that as well? Why hadn't he been the one to tell Buck how beautiful he was and how much his lover was exactly what he needed to finally start healing?

Buck was heading towards him with a damp washcloth and soon, while Chris still felt too much like jelly to move, Buck was carefully cleaning him, sending tingles all through his body.

His lover was utterly amazing and he should let him know that.

"You made me forget everything for a while," was what finally came out. Stupid, was that all he could find to say?

But Buck seemed to light up. "I did? Damn, Stud, that's all I want, make it all go away for you! Think I should do it again?" Lush lips were already on their way to his body and he groaned.

The man was utterly unbelievable!

"Ain't up to it for a good long while," he said truthfully.

Buck grinned. "Don't worry, you'll be up to your old strength in no time and we can get at it all day long once more. We'll just take a breather for now, some coffee sure would be nice, and get back to this later." He turned, so Chris could admire his strong profile as he checked the alarm clock. "Damn, it's nearing lunch time! I'd expected Vin pounding on that door hours ago!"

"Ezra's here too, remember? He staid after he brought the groceries and he knows better, even if Vin doesn't."

"True, true, Ezra has a nice understanding of the right behavior, Vin should learn from that. Well, we better get some food in you. Darn!" That damn guilty look was back on Buck's face. "I made you skip your pain killers, you must be hurting by now."

"Are you kidding me?" Chris asked incredulously. Hell, he was on so much endorphin after what Buck had done to him he didn't think he could feel pain for months to come. "And stop with the guilt trip, Buck, or I promise you, I'll make you pay."

"Aw, how can I resist an offer like that?" Buck laughed, failing utterly to look guilty now that he tried it deliberately. "Come on, let's get some clothes on, get some lunch and then head back here."

"I don't think I can move," Chris sighed. "But if you help me sit I might be able to make it to the shower. You can make lunch."

"Deal. But first I'll take off the bandage. And you better not get dressed before one of us comes up to put on a new one, or you're on your own with Nathan."

"Coward."

"Definitely." A kiss landed askew on his nose and then he was hoisted up by Buck, who deftly removed the bandage.

When he was standing under the hot water, Chris realized something was different. He was simply enjoying the hot water and the soft soap, the desperate need to scrub himself vigorously clean was gone. Buck had clearly showed him that he didn't think Chris was dirty, or damaged goods and had even managed to make him feel good about himself again right now.

He was smiling when he stepped out of the bathroom, ready to face the rest of the day.

Hell, with Buck back at his side, he was ready to face the rest of his life!

CHAPTER IX

Chris' utter stillness was what warned the others something was wrong.

"Chris?" Buck asked, immediately hovering over him, an arm around Chris' shoulder. "Oh, fuck!"

"What?" Vin and Ezra hurried towards them, looking anxious. "What's wrong?"

"Another one," Buck gritted out, his eyes on the paper in Chris' unmoving hands. "A young man this time, says here age 34."

"Same district?" Ezra asked, suddenly all business while he tried to see the article, peering around Buck and Chris.

"Close, but officially it's in the Sixth Precinct District."

"That's between here and where you and JD live," Vin exclaimed.

"Indeed it is, Mister Tanner. Let us hope the police won't take that as another anomaly to try and keep up the appearance all these cases of male rape and murders are unrelated."

"When was he killed?" Buck asked.

Finally Chris said something. "Yesterday," he rasped.

Gently Ezra took the newspaper from Chris' hands. "Yes," he affirmed. "Insurance salesman Charles Kendall, age 34, was found dead in his home early this morning by his wife, Lucia Kendall, who went searching for him when she woke up and saw he was no longer sleeping beside her. She found her husband downstairs, beside the refrigerator, dead from multiple knife wounds. He was also strangled. The police won't comment whether this man was also sexually assaulted like..." He stopped reading and looked up at them.

"Gentlemen, I believe dating up our files is in order. I will get them."

"I'm gonna phone the rest of the team, tell them what's up."

"And I'm gonna make sure you eat something, Stud. Didn't your Ma teach you it's unhealthy to read the paper while eating?" Buck teased, trying to get Chris out of the somber mood the article had driven him right back into.

Chris' eyes were pleading when he looked up. Oh, to hell with proprieties! Chris needed to be held and he was going to do it, no matter how many team members were walking around. He pulled a chair close to Chris, sat down and took him in his arms. There was a slight hesitation, but then Chris gave in, resting his head on Buck's shoulder. They were still sitting that way when Ezra and Vin came back. Ezra didn't bat an eye and immediately started sorting through the papers he, JD and Chris had collected. Vin did react, with a mumbled, " 'bout time", giving Buck a dirty look.

Nope, he wasn't totally out of Vin's doghouse yet.

"So," Ezra said, oblivious or at least doing a very good job of pretending to be. "The first case is Lewis Scarborough, killed the 1^st of August last year." He put down a small pile of papers, a copied picture on top. "Then Jamie Sullivan, the first of this year's victims, killed June 21^st. After him, Chris, July 21^st."

Buck shivered when he saw the pile of papers representing Chris as a case, his Chris a case.

"Chris was followed by Rick Miller, July 31^st and now this man, Charles Kendall, killed yesterday, the... ahem, yes, the 11^th of August." Ezra put down the newspaper as the last case, folded so Kendall's picture was clear to see.

"I don't get why they waited so long between the first one and the rest of them," Buck said, frowning while he looked at the four piles and the one newspaper. "Why not kill in between? Maybe they went somewhere else for that?"

Vin shrugged. "Maybe they like summers."

"You might have a valid reason there, Vin. In summertime people tend to leave their windows open."

"Damn, that's true! Stud, what do you think?"

Chris had been very quiet in Buck's arms, staring at the papers on the table.

"Chris?" Vin asked, suddenly worried. "Chris, yer in pain? You need yer pills?"

"One," Chris rasped. When he saw them all stare at him with bafflement, he repeated, "One. All those dates have a one in them."

"Yeah, half of the dates in a month have a one, Stud. I don't see what that'll help us."

"No," Chris insisted. He pointed at Lewis Scarborough's file. "1^st of August, 1^st, Buck!" Then he pointed at each of the other cases, while he said, "21^st, 21^st again, 31^st and now the 11^th. They'r first ones."

"Hell, yer right! What'd they do that for?"

"Because they are crazy, Mister Tanner. Sick and crazy. I do not think it is possible for normal people to understand them."

"Yeah, well, I don't see how that's gonna help us, except maybe warn everyone to lock blond men up on the 21^st."

Chris had pushed himself away from Buck and was sitting up straight now, still staring at the papers. "I do," he whispered, with an unholy gleam in his eyes, one that told Buck immediately he probably wouldn't like this plan.

'Not like it' turned out to be an understatement, when Chris told them what he wanted to do. He definitely hated it.

+ + + + + + +

It was clear that Lassimer hated Chris' plan as well. He looked with unfeigned dismay at the lean body sprawled in the chair before his desk, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, elbows on the armrests, fingers topped against each other before Chris' black clad chest.

Chris Larabee was dressed completely in black this day and it made a sinister picture with that unholy smile and anticipatory gleam in the hard, green eyes.

This was Larabee, the bad element, back again completely. Buck knew he should be glad for it, but he wasn't. Not, while knowing it was Chris' harebrained scheme to finally capture those two animals that had brought his devil may care attitude back.

"And I'm still not convinced that it's all done by the same two men," Lassimer tried. "There's still Ricky Miller...."

"His father is tall and blond," Chris interrupted him.

"...who is... excuse me?"

"Rick Miller's father is tall and blond," Chris repeated, his voice still raspy. "I've seen him."

"You're saying they were aiming for the father?" Jo-Anne Benton, perched on one corner of Lassimer's desk, asked. "That could be! They could have gone into the wrong room, the parents' bedroom was right beside their son's."

"And then they took what they found there. Shit." Lassimer leaned backwards in his chair. "That doesn't mean your plan has any merits, Larabee."

"Chris has been right about these two men from the beginning," Benton argued. "I think he might be right about this as well."

"I'm merely here to inform you, Lassimer," Chris said coldly. "Not to debate it. Out of courtesy, because it's your case. The plan will be executed regardless of your opinion."

"Oh, great!" Lassimer looked appealingly at the men standing protectively around their leader, his eyes finally stopping at Buck. "He's not even healed yet, Buck! So how can you let him do this?"

"It's over a week before it's the 21^st, Lassimer. I'll be healed enough by then. Besides, I have my men around me and I trust them completely."

Some feet were shuffled, but Chris didn't react, he kept his gaze level on the man in front of him. "Ain't gonna be persuaded not to do this and risk someone else getting killed, maybe another kid, Lassimer."

Lassimer threw up his hands. "Fine! Fine! You yahoo's always do what you want anyway! And if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do! If you don't mind, we'll not stop our investigation just because you have a plan, Larabee."

"You catch them and nobody needs my plan."

"Ha, ha, you're a barrel full of laughs." Lassimer sighed. "I guess I can't blame you, we haven't exactly delivered. But we're doing all we can, Chris, you gotta believe that."

"I do, John." Chris stood up. "I really do. Now it's time to do my part, to show I've survived for a reason, before they kill again."

Team Seven left, not a single man having wanted to be left out when Chris went to the police to tell them what they were going to do. Buck left last, giving Lassimer a pleading look.

Lassimer looked a bit puzzled, but then understanding dawned in his eyes.

"I'll try, Buck," he promised.

Buck left feeling slightly better. Lassimer was at least going to do his utmost to catch the two sadistic murderers before Chris set himself up as bate.

+ + + + + + +

They had planned it all carefully. Monday the 21^st the whole team would gather at the ranch for a barbecue and ostensibly leave at the beginning of the evening.

"Why can't we just all hide in the house and wait for them?" JD had asked, puzzled.

"We don't know when they are watching the house, JD," Josiah explained, "but we do know it's probably a lot of times. Both times Chris was alone they were there instantly. We don't want them seeing people hide around, so we will play out a scenario in which we can be nearby, yet we all seem to have left."

"Oh, yeah, that's fine then," JD said quickly, not looking very convinced. The others chuckled.

"We'll leave a window open as well," Chris said. "The one in the study, they seem to like that one."

"Chris..."

"No, Buck. I want them to feel right at home. Date, window, me alone in the house... Has to be irresistible for them."

"I don't like it," he insisted again.

Chris cupped his face in one hand, leaned over and gave him a soft, lingering kiss. "I know," he said.

Shit, how could he deny the man when he did that? In front of everyone else as well? Chris sure had changed in that respect. He better have a good, long talk with Larabee before he came back to work. This wouldn't do in the office at all.

"Any questions?"

"I propose we cover our departure one more time."

"And go over our positions once we return," Vin added.

Chris sighed. "All right, we will. But I'll still be in the house, alone," he warned.

The team threw him dirty looks, but no one objected any longer. They had a job to do and their team leader had devised the plan they would follow.

+ + + + + + +

It had been strange, Buck decided, the strangest barbecue they had ever had with the team. Everyone was tense, anticipation high, which had led to some rowdy gaming, much to Nathan's disgust. He had kept Chris out of it with sheer force, but actually, the rest had had fun with it.

By now everybody was looking forward to setting the trap. Chris still wasn't on active duty, but he was healthy enough to handle his part and everyone was very determined to finally catch those bastards and give their leader and friend some closure.

Not to mention exact some revenge for what had been done to him and to the other victims.

"Here, thought you might want this," JD whispered, handing over an open beer bottle. Buck grinned at him and whispered back just as softly, "You know me to well, kid." He took a swig from what in actuality was some apple juice, put in a beer bottle to make it all look like they really had party.

JD nodded and pulled a chair close. "How is he?" he asked, softly again, while he nodded at Chris, sleeping against Buck's chest, Buck's arm protectively around him.

"He's good, JD. Not healed as much as he would want, that's why I'm glad he's sleeping right now. But he's up to this, don't you worry."

"Good. You two sure are a lot less shy in showing what you're feeling now that you're back together again. And it was about time you got back together! I have to tell you, Buck, Vin was ready to punch you out over how you treated Chris and me and Ezra would have cheered him on. What were you thinking?"

Buck sighed and looked down on Chris, laying sprawled against his chest on the most luxurious of his lounge chairs. It still amazed Buck, and not only him, that Chris had let him slip behind his lover and take him in a warm embrace when he realized Chris was falling asleep. JD was right, this public display sure took some getting used to and he had to wonder how long it would last before Chris' private nature would kick in again.

He hoped it would last a good long while, at least with the boys around. It was kinda... nice to be able to cuddle even when they were around.

"Buck?" JD prompted.

He sighed. It had only been a matter of time before JD would come out and ask about his estrangement with Chris. It was something strictly between him and Chris, but this was JD and he wanted to tell the kid the truth about it.

"I was thinking that it was all my fault Chris was attacked, JD," he admitted. "Chris was hurt, he couldn't defend himself and I still went out partying. So I felt I had to make amends and I went about it all stupid. I was so damn angry about what had happened to him. But all I did was gave Chris the idea I didn't want him anymore." He still felt bad about that.

JD scowled. "Shoot, Buck, Chris himself told you to go and have a good time with us. No one could know those two were stalking Chris."

"Well, that's how I felt, JD." And would probably always feel, despite what everyone said. He should have been here. He had almost lost Chris that night, God, it had been so close, so very close.

He had to put his drink down, he was shaking so hard.

"Buck?" JD asked, suddenly worried.

"Sssh," he hissed, but it was too late, Chris was stirring.

The green eyes opened and looked at him sleepily at first, but when they saw the expression on his face, they immediately turned alert.

"Buck?" that immensely beautiful soft voice asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing, Chris. Just... don't ever die on me, all right? Ever!"

That made Chris smile, of all things. "Yeah, sure," he snorted, "if you promise to do the same for me." Then he tilted his head backwards, so he could look at Buck, which brought his lips close enough for Buck to kiss. He did, not even thinking about the fact that the other five were around.

Chris didn't pull away, didn't get angry, he kissed Buck back. They stopped when they heard JD cough rather loudly.

"Geez, you two, you're not alone here, you know! Can't you wait 'til we're gone?"

"Nope," Buck smiled, his eyes still on Chris. JD snorted in disgust and fled, but all of Buck's attention now was on his lover, who nestled himself back against Buck's chest, not even trying to get out of the arms holding him. It gave Buck a very warm, good feeling inside. He rested his chin on the top of Chris' blond head, watching the other five men eating the last of the food and throwing it at each other and then, gradually starting to clean up.

"Reckon I should help," he sighed after a while, reluctant to let go of Chris. In answer Chris grabbed his arm and held it down over his chest, so Buck stayed where he was. If that was what Chris wanted, needed, he was going to give it to him.

After a while he felt Chris tense up though.

"Something wrong?" he whispered, instantly worried. "Are you hurting somewhere? Maybe I better get Nathan."

Chris shook his head. He was looking around, to the edges of the wood at the back of the yard and then to the front. "I feel watched," he admitted.

"So they're really here?"

"You ever doubted that?"

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. Damn, but I'll be glad when this is over and done with."

"It's going down tonight, Buck," Chris said, sitting up, all alert now. "After tonight this will finally be behind us."

Buck hoped so, God, he hoped so. Chris still had horrible nightmares, even in Buck's arms and he needed those two gone before he could really have some closure.

Buck was going to make sure his lover would get that. He was going to shoot to kill tonight.

+ + + + + + +

Chris was leaning in the doorway while the rest of the team made their studied exit. Nathan guided a seemingly unsteady Ezra to his car, while Josiah did the same with Vin. Buck lingered the longest, finally steeling a quick kiss before he hopped in his pickup, JD already behind the wheel.

He kept standing in the doorway until not even the red taillights were visible any longer, then he closed the door firmly and made sure he locked it securely, the bolt locks as well. He did the same with the back door and the glass doors from the living room, determined to make leaving as difficult as possible for the two bastards. Vin and Buck both had keys and would be able to get in without trouble through the backdoor.

Then he finally retreated upstairs. He hesitated when he stood before the door of his bedroom. Damn, all Buck's loving hadn't been enough to make his stomach lurch just by thinking of going inside. It was all right when Buck was there, but alone it was a whole different matter.

Determined not to let those bastards win, he pushed the door open savagely and strode inside with long steps, not giving himself the chance to linger and think about things.

It didn't help. By the time he put out the light, he was shaking. God, he hated how those bastards had gotten to him.

He desperately hoped that catching them would finally make it stop.

+ + + + + + +

It was after eleven when he heard it, something crashing downstairs. Hastily he sat up, still fully clothed and his gun ready in his hands. He aimed at the door, ready to put a stop to it all.

"ATF! Get your hands up!"

Aw, hell, Buck! Off course Buck hadn't been able to let them get up the stairs first, so they would be effectively trapped. He needed to have a very long talk about that idiot's ideas of trying to keep him safe!

Chris jumped out of his bed and silently went to the door on his bare feet. He had his hand on the doorknob to open it carefully, when a shot reverberated through the house.

Buck!

Vin, Ezra!

Forgetting everything else he yanked the door open and sprinted outside, down the stairs. There he found a crouching Buck.

"What's going on?" he hissed, kneeling behind the large back.

"I had one of them, I had him, Chris! I told him to hold up his hands and turn slowly, but just as he turned he went down and whipped this gun out! If I'd been a second slower... Christ, I never expected them to have guns!" While he talked he was busy reloading his Glock.

"Get back upstairs, Chris and shoot anyone who tries to get through the door. I'll knock first."

"Like hell I will! Where's Vin and Ezra?"

"They stayed outside, so we would have them blocked in. Last I heard they were chasing someone."

"So one is outside, the other...?"

"Kitchen. Now get yourself bolted upstairs, you're still not declared fit for active duty, only desk duty."

"I'm fit for this," Chris whispered back. He quickly sidestepped Buck and, bowed down low, made his way to the kitchen.

The sound of glass breaking, a lot of glass breaking greeted him and with a curse he hurried on, Buck right behind him. He crouched at the door, ready to look quickly inside, but Buck had other ideas. Probably determined that Chris wouldn't go in there first, he dove through the door opening, gun right in front of him, ready to shoot at anything and anyone in sight.

"Buck, dammit!" Chris immediately followed, his gun going from right to left and back, his eyes taking everything in. Buck dove around the kitchen block. A curse sounded and then his dark mop of hair came up from behind it.

"No one," he said bitterly. "Looks like he's gone through the window."

Chris walked up and looked at the broken window. "Damn, he went through that? He must be bleeding."

"Yeah." Buck whipped out his cell phone. "Vin? Number two went outside as well. You have the other in sight? Good, don't let him get away! And be careful, I'm coming outside as well."

"So am I," Chris hissed.

"On bare feet? Don't think that's such a smart idea, Chris. Just hold the fort, all right?"

"Buck, dammit!"

But Buck was out of the kitchen and running to the back door. When Chris stepped into the hallway he was just in time to see through the glass how Buck locked the door again behind him.

"Shit!" he muttered, turning around to go the other way and get his boots. He'd be damned if he stayed safely cooped inside with his men taking all the risks. Especially since this was about him, not them.

Just as he left the kitchen he thought he heard something. It sounded like a door being opened, but when he looked back he saw nothing. He stood there for a while, staring around, but finally he had to admit he must have imagined things and hurried into the hallway to put on his boots.

He was struggling with the first one, cursing for it to take so long, cursing even more when he heard a shot from outside, when the banging started. He looked up. It came from the back of the house, he was sure of that. With a savage yank he pulled the boot off and again he ghosted through the hallway on bare feet, this time to the backdoor.

A dark shadow was standing there, trying to open the locked door and banging it in its doorframe while he was pulling and pushing at the doorknob with mounting frustration. Chris raised his gun.

"Freeze!"

The man in front of him stopped moving and looked over his shoulder at him. When he saw it was Chris, he grinned, the same, awful grin he had had when he was pounding into him, the grin he also had had afterwards when he told Chris how beautiful he was.

Chris felt his hands start to shake.

"Hands up," he managed to rasp out through his suddenly choking throat, fighting the urge to pump all his bullets into that hated face.

The grin grew and Chris felt a roar start inside his head, the image before him wavering slightly. He cocked his gun with an audible snap and saw with satisfaction how the hands went up.

"Good. Now kneel down."

The man didn't move.

"Kneel down!" he yelled.

"Chris?" he heard behind him. The kitchen door beside him burst open, right into him, slamming him against the wall. His side wound flared up in pain, while his still weak left leg couldn't hold him. His shot went wide and he cursed.

For the second time that night the sound of breaking glass could be heard. "No!" Chris yelled, aiming. But he was too late, the man had thrown himself right through the glass of the door.

Buck jumped past him, cursing and with one savage kick opened the rest of the door. Vin followed him on his heels and Chris righted himself, running after them. He flew over the porch and took the few steps down to the grass in one flying leap. But once there, he suddenly was taken back to almost five weeks before, when he had taken the same route and suddenly he was sure someone was behind him again, following him again, trying to catch him. He turned.

A disheveled, bleeding man stood looking at him. The light from the hallway showed clearly the smile and the almost vacant look in his eyes. He was stroking his crotch while looking at Chris, his smile growing.

"Best fuck ever," he said in a husky voice. "You were the best fuck I ever had." He stepped forward.

Chris stepped backwards, his eyes on the man, on his crazy grin and the hand stroking himself as if he hadn't been hunted just moments before. He again felt that hand roaming all over him, pinching and slapping, grabbing his cock and squeezing it painfully.

No more, not ever again.

He lifted his gun.

The man stopped, still fondling himself and then he brought forth his other hand. His big knife was glistening in it and Chris swallowed, remembering it, pricking at the base of his shaft.

Breathing had become hard, so hard.

The man lunged.

Chris fired his shot just before the man careened right into him. Then the body was all over him and he screamed, pushing at it savagely, trying to get it off, hitting it with all his strength. Then the weight seemed to be gone, but still he felt someone kneeling over him and he kept fighting, still screaming. Strong hands held his own and then Buck's face was there, his mouth moving as if he was saying something. Chris shook his head, trying to make sense of it, trying to hear what Buck was saying, but he couldn't, he simply couldn't get past the sensation of hands all over him, demeaning him, of his legs being pushed wide against his will and pain, such horrible pain.

Then Buck's arms were all around him and he was safely cradled against Buck's chest, smelling Buck's unique scent, hearing his warm voice rumbling through his head.

"He's dead, Chris, you got him, you got him, he's dead."

He didn't know how long he sat there, clutching at Buck with what little strength was left in him, whimpering as soon as Buck tried to let go of him, but it was finally Nathan's voice that got through to him, alerting him he and Buck weren't alone.

"I'm telling you they both need to go to the hospital!" Nathan said in that urgent tone of voice he got when one of them was injured or sick. He turned his head in the direction of the voice and saw Ezra sitting on the grass beside him, his head bloody. Nathan was winding a huge, white bandage around it.

"What?" he managed to whisper.

"Ezra was guarding this piece of shit, while me and Vin were hunting the other one. Seemed the man somehow got the drop on him.

"It was all the commotion, I was distracted for a minute. It was enough," Ezra said, looking at something behind Buck in the grass with disgust. "He jumped me and the next thing I know I see a stone descend. I am very, very sorry, Mister Larabee."

"As long as we have them," Chris whispered. His hand went to his throat, as raw again as it had been a week ago. He suddenly remembered how he had been screaming like an idiot when the bastard jumped him. Oh God, had he really been that... childish? Ashamed he ducked his head, no longer wanting to look at his men.

Their silences warned him and he forced himself to look up.

"What?" he asked. Why wouldn't they meet his eyes, had he made such a spectacle of himself?

It was Vin who spoke. "The other one, the one with the gun, he got away."

"What?" he asked again, now with utter disbelieve. They had been so close, Buck and Vin had been so close behind the bastard.

"We heard the gunshot and we heard you scream...." Vin finally looked at him. "The way you screamed, it was scary, Chris, real scary! We thought... so we ran back."

Chris started to shake. Not over, it still wasn't over. And his own cowardice had let the bastard escape. He tried to push Buck away, he needed to get on his feet and get out of here, just out of here, but Buck wouldn't let him. The warm, strong arms enveloped him once again, while Buck murmured "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Chris," over and over again.

He could only shiver, he was so cold, despite Buck's warmth. So very, very cold.

+ + + + + + +

Josiah and JD staid behind to wrap things up with the police. Buck and Vin had been adamant about staying with him and Ezra, while Nathan didn't even have to say anything, off course he would come with them to the hospital. Chris was carried to the Ram by Josiah despite his protests, but there was no way Nathan was going to allow him on his feet.

"You have glass shards in there, Chris," he said disapprovingly. "What were you thinking, walking through glass on bare feet?"

Chris didn't tell him he hadn't been thinking at all at the time, something he suspected Nathan already knew anyway. Josiah handed him over to Buck, who cradled him on the backseat of the Ram. Behind them he knew Vin followed with Ezra in the Jag. Ezra had protested eloquently, but Nathan had been adamant about Ezra having his head checked in the hospital and Vin wasn't about to pass up a chance to drive Ezra's prized Jaguar.

He didn't protest at the hospital when Nathan got him a wheelchair. His feet were smarting now and he had no desire to walk on them. Nathan was right, what had he been thinking?

Funny how he hadn't felt a thing at the time....

At the entrance of the hospital Lassimer was waiting. He didn't look like he was having a good time. "Benton is on her way to the crime scene and I'd like to fill her in on what happened as soon as possible. So what did happen?"

"Josiah and JD are there, they can tell her," Buck said, pushing Chris past him. Lassimer immediately followed, making sure he was walking abreast of Chris.

"Did the trap backfire?" he asked.

"Stop complaining, John," Buck said curtly. "At least we've got one. He's dead."

"Dead! A real well of information he'll turn out to be! And what happened to the other?"

"Got away. Now, can't you leave us in peace at least for a little while?"

"Buck! Just tell me what happened, damn it!"

"I will," Nathan suddenly took over. "I'll tell you everything, detective Lassimer, while they get settled in the ER."

Lassimer and Nathan trailed behind them and Chris could faintly hear Nathan describe how they all had left, six men in three cars, and how at the end of the gravel driveway to Chris' farm, where it made a curve just before arriving at the road and there was enough cover, the three passengers had jumped out and carefully made their way back on foot, while the other three rode on as if nothing was amiss.

"We didn't go too far, we wanted to be able to get back soon. Ezra warned us when the two men went inside and JD, Josiah and me went immediately back to the house."

Then he was whisked away to one of the cubicles and helped up on an examination table. Buck was ushered outside and Chris looked after him longingly. Fingers started probing him and brought his attention to other things.

His old wounds were checked, some new cuts were treated and all the glass embedded in his feet was taken out. Soon enough he had his feet swapped in bandages. "It's not very serious," the doctor told him cheerfully. "It might be painful for a couple of days, but if you're careful and have some soft slippers to keep the bandages as clean as possible, you can walk on them if you're up to it."

"Thanks, doc."

"You're welcome. Come, I'll call a nurse to wheel you back to your friends."

Chris nodded and gingerly hobbled over to the wheelchair, where he sat down with some relief. It was doable to be on his feet, but it sure as hell wasn't fun.

Are you all set, Mister Larabee?" the male nurse behind the chair asked him. He nodded and leaned back, his eyes closed while he was wheeled slowly along the row of curtained off cubicles from the ER, the nurse expertly maneuvering the chair between the equipment standing everywhere. From around him voices reached him, some crying, others soothing.

"What a bloody mess," one voice ahead of him said, a voice with something hauntingly familiar. Hastily he opened his eyes.

"Yes, sireeh! How'd you get all those splinters?" The answer came from the last cubicle he was going to pass.

"Just working in my shed."

Oh, God, yes, he did know that voice. Without warning the nurse, he pushed himself off the chair and on his feet.

"Sir, you can't do that," the nurse said in alarm. "You have nothing on those feet but bandages! Sir?"

He turned and glared at the man, making a silencing motion. When the man opened his mouth anyway, he pointed at him warningly, shaking his head. Then he turned back to the cubicle where that one voice came from.

"This is going to sting a little, but it will clean the wounds," the other voice said, the one that didn't matter.

Then the one he had recognized answered. "I'll manage. Just do it."

Buck and Vin were hurrying towards him now, but Chris reached the curtains before they reached him. He opened them with a savage pull.

The man was sitting on the examination table, a doctor leaning over him, who looked up a bit irritated.

"Can I help you?"

Chris held onto the curtains he had parted, so he wouldn't fall, his eyes on the man with lank, brown hair. The man stared back at him and then that awful smirk came on his face.

"Chris?" Buck asked, his solid presence suddenly at his back.

"It's him," he whispered, never taking his eyes off the man.

The man launched himself at Chris, but never reached him. Vin hurled himself inside with a fury Chris had never seen in him before, crashing into the man and pummeling him repeatedly, while the doctor yelled for security. Chris stepped back, still trembling and he would have fallen if Buck's arms hadn't suddenly been around him, holding him up.

"Get me out of here," he rasped, while Nathan struggled past him to stop Vin from committing murder, Lassimer close on his heals. "Just g... get me out of here."

"I will, I will, ssssh."

"Now, Buck. Just get me home. I need to be home."

He would finally be safe again at his home. It was all over. It really was all over.

EPILOGUE

"So this is what you've been planning all those weeks?" Chris asked, amused. "A cabin at the sea?"

"Hey, hey, this is California, Stud! Just think of all the rest of the boys shivering in Denver," Buck grinned. "And actually it took a lot of looking around to find the right place for our second year honeymoon. You know, I had me some really big plans at first. Hawaii and such, been thinking about Rio de Janeiro as well, but then I realized I don't want to share you the coming two weeks, not with other people and not with other distractions either. I want you all for myself, all your attention on me and all my attention on you."

Chris was standing on the back porch of the small beach house, looking at the sea retreating from the pristine, white sand. The beach house was a simple affair, no more than a cabin, but the private beach was glorious, as were the dunes all around them. They certainly were all by themselves out here. They hadn't encountered a soul on the long road to this remote place. There was nothing here but this cabin, sea, sand and now them.

Arms were put around him and Buck's chin rested on his shoulder, while his lover looked at the sea as well.

"It's a beautiful spot, ain't it?"

"Yeah. How did you ever manage to find it? And get it? It's... it's the best!" He turned in Buck's arms, feeling them tighten at his back and he looked up in those amazing blue eyes, looking at him seriously, without all the usual merriment.

"Do you really like it, Chris?"

"You know I do, you know I'm much rather in a beautiful spot like this, just the two of us, then in some fancy city or on some tourist island. But you... I know you wanted to go somewhere really fancy."

"Chris, this is as fancy as it can get! Don't you realize what we'll have here for the next two weeks?"

When Chris raised his eyebrows at him, Buck started laughing. "Come on, what's the best way to celebrate our two year anniversary?" Buck's hands were roaming over his back now, tugging his shirt out of his pants, right there in the open.

Chris grinned, catching on. "A private beach we don't need any clothes on, 'cause there's no one around to see us."

"Right! This is Paradise! Sea, sand, sun, you! And no need to wear clothes for the whole next two weeks!"

His shirt was already open, Buck's hands roaming over his bare chest, teasing one nipple. He groaned as his cock grew hard in his jeans at the picture Buck painted.

"No need at all? Shit!" He bucked against the hand cupping his hard on and was now fervently tucking at Buck's shirt buttons. Hell, what did he care? He gave one savage pull, causing those buttons to fly all over the place.

"Nope," Buck breathed into his ear. "Made sure this place is fully stocked, so we don't need to leave even once."

"G... good, oh God!" Buck had freed his dick and his fingers were playing with the engorged head. It made it damn difficult to tug Buck's belt open when he felt the need to arch every time his lover scraped his nails over his cock's slit. Then the hand was gone and he felt his jeans tucked down. Making sure he wouldn't get too much behind he jumped Buck and savagely tore down his jeans as well. One hand immediately lashed onto Buck's already rock hard member.

"We don't even need to get our suitcases," Buck mumbled in his neck, where he was licking and biting Chris, so goose bumps coursed all up and down his body. "In fact, I'm gonna forbid you to get those suitcases and I'm gonna make these clothes disappear as well. Gotta make sure I'll be able to feast my eyes on you every second of the day and night."

With his jeans gone, Chris hungrily spread his legs to give Buck's hand more access to his balls. "Really?" he whispered, thrusting himself in Buck's exploring hand. A finger suddenly was playing with the rim of his hole and he moaned. "In that case I c... can't... oh, fuck!" He would have gone down if Buck hadn't held him up. He went down anyway when Buck expertly kicked one leg away and placed him on his back. He pinched one brown nipple in front of him in retaliation, while his other hand went for Buck's balls, making his lover give a very satisfying whimper. "In that case I can't give you your presents."

Buck lifted himself on his arms, looking down at him wickedly. "Presents, Chris? Hell, what can you give me that's better than what I've already got here?"

"Oh, you'll be surprised," Chris purred. "Very surprised." He stretched his body languidly, grinning when he saw Buck's eyes grow wide, enjoying the view. "So? You want them?"

"Tell you what," Buck said smugly, feasting his eyes on every exposed part of Larabee, "when we take your clothes back to the car, the one I rented, to lock them in the trunk with what I consider to be my car keys, keys which will go to a secret place you won't ever find, that's when you can get those presents out, 'cause, well, I do love presents, but only them and nothing else. All the rest stays in that trunk."

Before he could answer, Buck's lips descended on his for a quick, hot kiss. "And now shut up, Larabee. We have some loving to do, right here on the porch, and then on the beach. And lastly in the sea. I aim to make the most of what's left of this day. Oh, and I promise you this, Chris." Buck again lifted himself on his hands, hanging with every glorious inch above him. "When I'm done with you in the coming two weeks, you'll be fucked so thoroughly and completely, all you can do when I so much as look your way is spread your legs and beg for more."

The promise sent a hot spike of lust right through his groin, making his cock grow even harder. "Really?" he smiled. "And what makes you think I won't repay everything you give to me right back to you?"

"Oh, I'm counting on that, Larabee, I'm counting on that. Ready for the hottest two weeks of your life?"

"Yes," he whispered hoarsely, "oh, yes!"

Lips descended and they kissed passionately, reveling in each other as they had never before, having almost lost it so recently.

But they hadn't, they had survived and now they were stronger together than ever before.

And these two weeks would chase the last of the shadows away, Chris knew very well that was why Buck had opted for this glorious way to spend their time together. Completely and utterly together.

Before real life would try and kick them down again.

THE END

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