SIX
Vin made no response, but continued with what he was doing, pressing down awkwardly. A horrified Larabee saw blood starting to run down his hand.Chris knew there was only one thing to do. “TANNER!” he shouted. “DROP THAT DAMN KNIFE!” It was his command voice and when he used it people obeyed if they knew what was good for them.
Vin’s body jerked in shock and the knife fell from his fingers into the alley below, narrowly missing JD, who was looking up at him. He turned around. His face was bone-white and streaked with tears. “Go away. Please go away,” he begged.
“No way, cowboy! Get yer butt over here now!”
To his surprise, Vin heeded the command, lurching to his feet and actually balancing on the parapet. For a moment his body swayed dangerously and both Larabee and JD held their breath in case he toppled. However, somehow he regained his balance, turned and stepped back onto the roof. Then he moved slowly towards Chris, head down and avoiding eye contact.
Larabee put out a hand and clutched his shoulder to stop him heading for the fire escape. “We have to talk, pard, and this time I mean it. Ya aren’t goin’ anywhere until we do even if we have to sit up here all day.”
“I-I can’t.”
“Ya can and ya will. Now tell me what the matter is.”
The tracker shook his head.
“We’ve got all day, Vin. All night too if needs be. Ya know I ain’t a man who gives up.”
Without realizing it, Chris had just found the key. “I-I didn’t think I was either,” Vin murmured.
“What do ya mean, Vin?”
“Ya’ll be ashamed of me.”
“I’ll never be that, Vin,” Chris promised reassuringly.
“Ya will! Ya will!” the tracker insisted.
“How do ya figure that, cowboy?”
“’Cause I am,” he muttered wretchedly.
“Please, Vin, tell me.”
The tracker slowly nodded and then muttered, “I-I let him.”
“What?” Chris asked bemused, staring at the tracker’s chalk-white face.
“I st-stopped fightin’. He s-said iffen I let him he w-wouldn’t … he wouldn’t…” The tracker broke off with a strangled sob.
“Wouldn’t what, Vin?” Chris prompted, fighting to keep his voice soft.
“Th-that cellar. I-I c-couldn’t st-stand it, Chris. He’d l-leave me in there all day. I couldn’t breathe. The walls … The walls were … I th-thought they were movin’ in. I was hurtin’ so much and I-I … oh, God, I c-couldn’t go back in there so I fuckin' let him.”
Confused, Chris said, “But ya were in the cellar when Ezra and I found ya.”
“Yeah, he l-let me st-stay out two days, but … but on the l-last night he … he tr-tried to put … to put his cock … I c-couldn’t ... n-not in my mouth. I felt s-sick and he k-kept pushin’ so I bit him. He was real m-mad. I th-thought … I hoped he’d k-kill me, but he j-just gave me another thrashin’ and said … and said he was puttin’ me back in the cellar… and he wasn’t gonna let me out till I agreed to … to …” Tears flowing down his cheeks, the tracker broke off, shaking uncontrollably, and tried to cover his face with his good hand.
Larabee decided it was time to intervene. Keeping his voice as steady as he could, although his insides were churning with commingled concern for Vin and hatred for his attacker, he said “But it’s over now, Vin. He’s dead and yer goin’ to be okay. I’ll see to it.”
That reaction was nothing like what the tracker had been anticipating and he could not understand it. “B-But ya know what happened … what I did.” The last phrase was a mere whisper.
“Yes, and I know none of it was yer fault.”
However, Vin was far too wound up to accept that. “No! I-I told ya I let him! H-How can ya stand havin’ me around? … I c-can’t stand myself.”
Shoulders hunched and streaming eyes fixed on the ground, the tracker tried to shuffle past Chris, but the gunslinger put an arm around his shoulders and turned him about. Vin kept his head down hoping against hope that he would not have to look at Chris. However, Larabee put a hand under his chin and gently but firmly raised it.
Chris’ heart contracted as he gazed into the anguished eyes. How could he break through the wall that Vin had constructed, to help his distraught friend? How could he convince him that nothing altered the gunslinger’s regard for him? Without conscious thought, he acted instinctively to comfort, and drawing an unresisting Vin against him, leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips.
Vin tensed and drew back slightly, staring at Larabee, his eyes wide with shock. “Ch-Chris?” he stammered, unable to credit what had just happened.
In truth, Chris had somewhat stunned himself. He had not planned to kiss Vin. Indeed, contrary to some people’s speculations, he had never ever given a moment’s thought to doing such a thing, but it felt so right.
With Chris to think was to act and he drew Vin back against him. He held the smaller man against his chest and buried his face in the soft, brown curls. He stroked his hands down the tracker’s back, gentling him as he might a skittish horse. Then, to his joy, he felt Vin’s good arm go around his waist, clinging to him.
He did not know how long they had stood there, but suddenly he was aware they were no longer alone. He turned to see Buck climbing onto the roof.
“Everythin’ okay now, Chris?” he asked quietly, his eyes widening slightly at the unexpected scene before him. “Ya were takin’ so long we started to worry.”
Chris felt Vin tense, but the tracker made no attempt to extricate himself from the gunslinger’s grasp so he took that as a good sign. “I think so, Buck. We’ll be down soon.”
Half an hour later, Nathan was busy doctoring Vin’s abused arm for a third time and Larabee was breathing a private, but heart-felt, sigh of relief that he had averted a tragedy that he feared might have destroyed more than just Vin’s life.
After that things did begin to show a definite improvement and Vin seemed to be coming to terms with what had happened to him. He had not said anything more about Hudson and what the man had done to him, but he seemed reasonably contented and was eating more.
The other men had started to visit and the tracker seemed to be coping reasonably well with that, although Chris was careful that he was always present on such occasions unless the visitor happened to be Ezra. Of course, it helped that Ezra knew about the rape and so did not ask awkward questions like JD was wont to do, but the gunslinger was also aware that for some unfathomable reason, the gambler seemed to have Vin’s trust.
He sat and played cards with Vin by the hour, both happily cheating and fully conscious of their opposition's misdemeanours on that score as well. When Larabee entered the room the pair was often laughing at some comment Ezra had made and Vin seemed totally relaxed, indeed more so than he had been even before his unfortunate encounter with Hudson.
This unaccountably irritated Larabee. He knew he should be grateful both that Standish was exerting his not inconsiderable charm to put Vin at his ease and the fact that the gambler’s presence allowed him time away from the sickroom, but illogically he felt Ezra was honing in on his territory. He berated himself for the stupid notion, but the feeling remained.
As time passed, Larabee began to wonder what the next step should be. Although Vin was more independent during the daytime, he definitely was ill at ease when separated from Chris for any length of time, apart, of course, from when the gambler was there. Further, Vin still could not sleep alone.
Admittedly, Vin was ashamed of that and one night had even insisted on moving into the room next to Chris’ in an attempt to break the habit. However, when Larabee had looked in on him, an hour after putting his light out, he had found Vin sitting huddled against the headboard, sobbing into a pillow in an attempt to muffle the sound of his distress. Unable to leave him in that state, Chris had scooped him into his arms and had carried him back to his room.
Early one evening, a month or so after Vin’s rescue, the pair was sitting on the seat on the porch of Chris’ cabin. Vin was leaning against Larabee, his head on the broad shoulder. Both had become so accustomed to the sharpshooter’s need to draw comfort by touching the gunslinger that they were hardly conscious of such actions and were unaware that they were raising a few eyebrows around Four Corners. At least, Vin was still in that blissful state, but Chris had just had his attention rudely drawn to the fact.
Indeed, it was because of this that Chris had decided to take Vin out to the cabin. They needed to talk and they were less likely to be disrupted by a visit from one or more of the others out there.
Larabee felt more than somewhat tongue-tied, but he had decided that he had to find where things stood. Mary Travis had confronted him the previous day and had bluntly inquired when he was going to give up babysitting the tracker. “People will be starting to talk if you’re not careful,” she said jealously. “I know he has not been well, but you would think he was your … well, your boyfriend or something the way the pair of you are sticking together. Billy and I haven’t seen you for weeks.”
How he had managed to give a civil reply to that little outburst, Chris was not sure, but somehow he had calmed Mary’s ruffled feathers and had even promised to join her for a meal the following Saturday night.
She had bustled off well-pleased, but Chris had felt … guilty. It was ridiculous, but he had the feeling he was cheating on Vin. And how could he be? They did not have a relationship. They didn’t! Or did they?
Sure he had kissed Vin that day on the roof, but that had been a gesture of comfort, nothing more. He had almost convinced himself about that. And, yes, he was sharing his bed with Vin every night, but the tracker was still having nightmares. However, they weren’t doing anything, apart from cuddling when Vin awoke in tears and that was just friendship, wasn’t it? Yet he recalled how right that kiss had seemed and knew how good it felt to lie with the tracker spooned against him and to nuzzle his face into the long locks that rested so trustingly on his shoulder.
He had been tossing the conundrum over his mind ever since Mary had broached the issue. He needed to know and now was time for it. “Can I ask ya somethin’, Vin?”
“Sure.” In truth, the tracker had been wondering what Larabee had been thinking so seriously about. He had been quite preoccupied all day.
There was no easy way to put it. He hesitated, but then realized he was making Vin uneasy and so blurted out, “H-How do ya … um … How do ya feel about me?” he was uncomfortably aware his face was burning and hoped it was not too apparent in the fading light.
“I love ya, Chris.”
That jolted Larabee. He had not expected such an immediate and apparently unequivocal answer from the taciturn tracker.
However, on second thoughts perhaps it was not as clear as he had thought. He had to be certain. He tried again. “And I love ya too, Vin, but what I need to know is how you love me?”
“Wh-What do ya mean?” Vin asked in some confusion.
“Do you mean as a friend?”
The tracker did not understand how, after all Chris had done for him, that the gunslinger could possibly think he did not regard him as a friend. “Yeah, ‘course I do,” he replied, wondering what Chris was on about.
That reply caused an odd rush of pain through Chris’ heart. “So ya wouldn’t mind if I went out with Mrs Travis?” he asked.
Vin’s face fell. He swiftly donned a mask of indifference and said, “Ya do what ya want, Chris. It’s nothin’ to do with me.”
If Larabee had not been watching him so intently he might have missed the quick flash of hurt in the expressive eyes. “Yes, it has, Vin. It has everythin’ to do with you. What if I told ya I am never going out with her again?”
“Has she found someone else, Chris?” Vin asked. Then his face paled as the thought hit him. “Is it my fault? Is she mad at ya for spendin’ so much time with me?”
“She’s mad all right.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, cowboy. Like I’ve told ya before, nobody makes me do anythin’ I don’t want to do. However, I don’t want to talk about her, I want to know what ya think.”
“I’m sorry, Chris, I don’t understand what yer askin’.” His beautiful face was bewildered.
Larabee could stand it no longer. “Dammit!” he exclaimed. “I’ll have to show ya!” With that he threw caution to the wind, reached for Vin, dragged him into his arms and kissed him thoroughly. To his joy, Vin melted against him.
Emboldened, Chris flicked the tip of his tongue across the tracker’s lips and Vin opened to him allowing him to explore the honeyed cavern of his mouth. The gunslinger ran his hands up under Vin’s shirt caressing the smooth back. Vin’s suspenders were in the way, so he snaked one hand out again to push them from the tracker’s shoulders, before resuming his stroking and petting.
Larabee broke the kiss and lifted the tracker to straddle his knees. Then he began to work his way round Vin’s neck nibbling and licking. Vin flung his head back and gasped with pleasure, his throat deliciously taut.
Chris reached the sensitive junction of neck and shoulder and started to concentrate his efforts there. Vin giggled and tried to twist away, but Larabee was not having that. Having elicited such a deliciously unexpected sound from his normally silent tracker, he was eager to evoke the response again. He held Vin firmly on his lap and continued to tease enjoying Vin’s writhing and laughing protests.
Growing painfully hard with all Vin’s wriggling, Larabee slid his hands down to cup the tracker’s buttocks and staggered to his feet, clutching Vin in his arms. With only one good arm, Vin automatically wrapped his legs around the gunslinger and clung like a limpet lest Chris drop him.
Lost in a sensual haze, eyes tightly shut, Vin was so overwhelmed with the pleasures of Chris’ touch, so long desired and yet never expected, that he failed to realize exactly what Chris was doing until the door clicked shut behind them.
The sound, small as it was in reality, fair crashed into his consciousness. His eyes flew open, wide and wary. “Chris? Where are …”
“Shhh. Nearly there, Vin,” Larabee soothed, pushing open the bedroom door with a foot.
Realizing Larabee’s intended destination, Vin started to push against him. “N-No,” he gasped.
However, Chris was no longer thinking with his brain. Other parts of his anatomy had taken over and he was barely aware of Vin’s movements and deaf to his protest.
He dropped the tracker into the centre of the bed and in one swift movement landed beside him. Unintentionally mirroring Hudson’s actions, he then straddled Vin’s hips and began to undo his shirt.
Panicking, Vin bucked his hips trying to dislodge the gunslinger while frantically trying to bat the intruding hand away. “Get off me! Get off me! Leave me alone!”
“Vin! What on earth’s the matter?” Chris asked, astounded by the reaction.
“Get off! Get off!”
Thoroughly confused, Chris climbed off the tracker and onto the floor, watching in concern as Vin scooted up the bed and huddled in the corner formed by headboard and wall, while babbling, “Don’t touch me! Don’t! Please don’t!”
Larabee held out a hand while saying, “Vin, it’s me Chris. Calm down. I’m not going to hurt ya.”
Vin flinched away from the hand and cowered into the pillows, sobbing and gasping for air. “No! D-Don’t! I can’t! No!” He was getting hysterical.
Not knowing what else to do, but realizing he had to snap Vin out of it, Larabee reached for his shoulders and pulled him off the bed. He tried to cuddle the tracker, but Vin wasn’t having that. Unable to break the larger man’s hold by twisting, the tracker kicked Chris in the shins.
That hurt and Chris’ temper flared. He immediately reacted, releasing Vin and slapping him sharply across the face twice. The tracker fell to his knees and stayed there, head down and shoulders heaving.
Contrite, Chris knelt down. “Vin, what’s wrong?” he implored. “What have I done to upset ya?”
“’M sorry, Chris. It ain’t you. It’s my fault. I can’t. I’m scared.”
“What are ya scared of? I ain’t gonna hurt ya, Vin. Ya know I’d never hurt ya, don’t ya?”
“But ya were goin’ to,” Vin protested.
“No, I wasn’t,” Chris said, completely nonplussed. “I thought ya wanted it as much as I did. I thought ya loved me.”
“I do love ya, Chris, but … but …”
“But what, Vin?”
“It hurts too much.”
“What does?” Larabee asked perplexed.
“Sex.”
“Listen, Vin, Nathan says you’ve healed up fine so you’ll be okay. I guess I mighta got a bit fast for ya, but I promise I’ll go slow and if ya will just relax and …”
However, the tracker wasn’t listening. He broke in, explaining, “He hurt me, Chris. I-I didn’t think s-sex would hurt s-so much.”
“Vin, what he did to ya wasn’t sex, that was violence. Ya know sex doesn’t normally hurt.”
The tracker bit his lip and looked searchingly at the gunslinger. “Are ya sure?” he asked plaintively.
“Of course I am. Ya know I am!” Chris was starting to get exasperated.
“I don’t know! How can I? I’d never … I’d never …” He broke off and covered his face with his hands, trying to hide his tears from Chris.
Chris’ mouth dropped open. “Well, ya might never have had sex with a man, but ya must have had sex with women and ya know…”
Vin cut him off with one small word, “No.”
Larabee stared at him aghast. He wished for a moment that Hudson were still alive so he could strangle him. Sure he had never seen Vin with a woman and knew that he was painfully shy in their company, but he had never imagined for one moment that his friend was a virgin.
“What about Charlotte Richmond,” he blurted, recalling an incident that had come close to breaking up the seven’s partnership. Vin had succumbed to a married woman’s charms and had actually taken off with her leaving the others in danger. Sure he had had second thoughts and had come back, but it had taken weeks before all was back to normal in the seven’s relationship.
There was something in Chris’ tone that freed Vin’s tongue. He had deeply regretted that lapse and had hoped the others had forgiven him even if he did not deserve it. He could not stand the thought that Chris might believe he had actually had sex with her and had then decided, since he had had what he wanted, to return to the wagon train. “Nothin’ happened, Chris. I knew I was doin’ wrong to go with her. I s’pose I was just flattered that someone wanted me. She wasn’t the person I wanted, but I didn’t think ya were ever gonna love me.”
“Ya wanted me even then?” Chris asked in amazement.
“Chris, I wanted ya from the moment we met. Ya took my soul when our gazes first locked.”
“And so what’s changed?”
“Nothin’! Everythin’! Hell, Chris, I just didn’t know what it would be like.”
“And ya still don’t know. No, Vin, ya don’t!” he insisted when Vin went to protest. “Trust me! Ya said ya hadn’t had sex with anyone before Hudson, but what he did to ya was not sex. Sex is pleasure. Let me show ya. I promise I’ll stop if ya ask me to, but ya won’t.”
The tracker looked at him doubtfully. It was like observing some wild creature that was deciding whether to bolt. Chris held out a hand.
Vin hesitated and then took it and the gunslinger helped him up. “I’ll try,” he whispered.
“That’s all I ask, pard. Now ya lie back on that bed and let me show ya what love is.”
Vin hesitated, biting his lip, but then eased himself back onto the bed. He lay there eyes squeezed tightly shut and his body so rigid with apprehension that, under other circumstances, Larabee might have laughed at him.
The gunslinger pulled off Vin’s boots and socks. Then he finished unbuttoning Vin’s shirt and raised him slightly to slide it off him. Vin kept his eyes resolutely shut and made no protest.
Deciding it was better to proceed very slowly, Chris made no attempt to touch Vin’s trousers. Instead he knelt beside him on the bed, leaning down to tease that sensitive neck again.
He could tell Vin was willing himself to keep still, but his self-control was not proof against Larabee’s talented lips and teasing tongue. Soon, the tracker’s head was starting to thrash around and he was moaning softly.
He gripped the bedcovers tightly with his good hand to try to stop himself pushing Chris away. Larabee spotted the difficulty Vin was having and moved his right hand to capture Vin’s left and to pin it gently, but firmly, in position. As he did so, he moved his attentions to Vin’s chest, his mouth latching on to a small, brown nipple. He swirled his tongue around it and Vin gasped and arched his back.
Emboldened, Chris eased a leg back across Vin’s hips and crouched on all fours above him, taking care not to put weight on his body lest the tracker feel trapped.
Then he moved back onto his knees, releasing Vin’s hand. He watched Vin peep surreptitiously out from under his thick lashes to try to ascertain what Larabee was doing. “Okay, cowboy?” he asked.
“Y-Yeah,” Vin murmured, not sounding at all sure.
Smiling to himself, Larabee leaned down again and nuzzled Vin’s throat and simultaneously ran both hands down Vin’s ribs. That sparked a reaction. Vin jerked and giggled. “Not that! I can’t stand ticklin’,” he protested. He tried to twist away from the teasing fingers, but found Larabee’s legs prevented his escape.
The gunslinger repeated the torture and Vin giggled more and bucked his hips, his groin pushing against Larabee. Chris slowly lowered himself onto Vin to stop that, allowing the tracker only a slight sideways movement. He continued to tickle for a short time, enjoying the feeling of the tracker’s groin squirming against his balls. However, he was careful not to go on too long, for fear of upsetting the tracker, delightful as he found Vin’s helpless giggles.
Easing himself back onto Vin’s legs, he placed a restraining hand on each narrow hip and flicked his tongue into the tracker’s belly button. “Ahhh, Chrisss! Vin gasped, thumping his good hand down and clutching the bedclothes in a stranglehold.
Larabee glanced at Vin’s crotch and, to his joy, could see the material pulled taut over the straining hardness within. He slowly moved one hand down and deftly undid Vin’s fly-buttons, while continuing with his attentions to Vin’s navel. Gently easing his fingers inside, he carefully freed Vin’s cock and ran his hand along it.
To his relief, Vin made no protest and seemed to be accepting his touch. He wanted to take the penis into his mouth, but decided that might be too much for the tracker to cope with as yet, especially considering how upset he had been when recalling how Hudson had tried to force him to perform fellatio on him. So instead he started to ease Vin’s trousers down, the tracker actually arching his hips to assist.
He peeled the trousers down to Vin’s knees and then moved so one of his knees was pinning the material between the partially spread legs. Having thus guaranteed himself access, while not giving Vin too much room to move, he began to play with Vin’s balls, stroking them and rolling them in his fingers, enjoying their firm furriness and their owner’s whimpers of pleasure and need. He deliberately refrained from touching Vin’s cock again, knowing how much its owner would be wanting a firm hand.
He snaked a hand between Vin’s legs and ran a finger over his puckered hole. Again, he refrained from giving into his own desires and made no attempt to penetrate the tracker’s anus. That could wait for another night. He did not think Vin was ready for that yet.
Conscious that Vin was getting increasingly desperate, he started running his fingers down the soft, creamy flesh of Vin’s inner thighs. Vin was gasping, his breath rasping in his throat. Larabee knew exactly what he wanted, but he was determined that the tracker would ask for it.
He grinned as he watched Vin’s hand slide, of its own volition, surreptitiously towards his own erection. “Where’s that goin?” He tapped it playfully, thoroughly amused both by the speed with which the owner hurriedly withdrew the unruly object and by the fiery blush that travelled right down Vin’s body as he realized what he had nearly done in front of Chris.
Exulting inwardly, at the effect he was having on his lover, Chris renewed his attentions to Vin’s scrotum and inner thighs. Finally, Vin could stand it no more. “Yer killin’ me, cowboy,” he protested.
“Me?” Larabee asked innocently, his hands continuing their games.
“Yes, you! Damn ya!”
“What do ya want me to do, Vin?” Chris asked provocatively.
Vin swooped his good hand up, grabbed Chris’ right wrist and pulled it to his cock in one exasperated motion.
"Oh, that,” Larabee said vaguely.
Vin was ready to scream in frustration, but instead cried out with pleasure as Chris relented and took him in hand. In moments, he was spurting uncontrollably all over his bedmate.
When the coloured lights disappeared and the blackness receded and he had finally recovered enough to realize what he had done, he hurriedly started to apologize and Larabee had to ruefully admit that he was responsible for some of the mess. “I guess I should have got undressed, but I ain’t lost control like that since I was a teenager. Ya really got me goin’ there, pard.”
“Me?” Vin responded with indignation, ”What the hell did I do?”
“Looked too damned beautiful and made me love ya too much,” Larabee retorted. He grinned evilly at the surprise in the wide blue eyes and the blush staining Vin’s cheeks. “Aw, hell, yer doin’ it again!” he complained, swooping Vin into his arms and crushing him to his broad chest.
The tracker snuggled into him, almost purring with happiness. All was well in his world at last.
THE END