Buck and JD were sitting on the boardwalk in front of the saloon bored to tears. Nothing had happened in town for almost a week. Ezra was inside playing with those infernal cards of his and the others were out of town.
"EZRA! GET OUT HERE!" Buck roared, when he caught sight of his friends riding into town.
JD and Buck were halfway down the street, when Ezra finally stepped out into the daylight.
"Good Lord!" the gambler exclaimed and followed after them.
JD grabbed the reins and Josiah handed the unconscious tracker down to Buck's waiting arms, while the other three dismounted.
"What happened?" JD asked anxiously.
Chris shook his head slightly and Buck understood his unspoken message. "Later JD," the mustached man spoke in an unusually harsh voice.
JD looked from Buck to Chris and at Vin's still form. He knew that something had passed between the two old friends, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. Whatever it was, he knew enough to wait to ask anymore questions. "I'll put your horses up and come back," he said and then started towards the stables.
Josiah took Vin's shoulders and Buck took his feet and together they carried him up the stairs. Nathan let them in and lit a lamp and moved it close to the bed where they laid Vin.
"Mr. Larabee, even my untrained eye recognizes that these wounds were inflicted by men," Ezra spoke carefully.
Chris's visage changed from that of concerned friend to deadly gunfighter in an instant and Ezra was very glad he wasn't the men who'd hurt Vin.
"Who was it Chris?" Buck demanded angrily.
"Four of 'em," Chris informed the others. "Two of 'em are dead and I want the other two just as dead." His voice was as cold as the grave he was determined to see the other two outlaws in. "I'm gonna give Nathan a hand with Vin, but I want you all to find 'em. Find 'em and kill 'em. They're young fellas, names are Joe Burke and Wayne Smith, goes by Smitty."
Buck put a hand out and touched Chris's shoulder. "We'll get 'em," he said softly and left the clinic
"Indeed, Mr. Larabee, I can think of nothing that would give me greater pleasure at the moment," Ezra touched his hat briefly and followed Buck out the door.
Josiah said nothing, but took a final look at Vin's battered form, before he turned and went out of the door.+ + + + + + +
Nathan waited until the door closed behind Josiah to ask. "Chris, we gotta take care of his other injuries.
"The other injuries," Chris repeated harshly and knelt beside Vin's bed.
"Chris, I know what happened to Vin. The reason he's got on pants that are three sizes too big for him?" Nathan met Chris's eyes knowingly.
Chris closed his eyes against the tears that sprang unbidden into them. He struggled for several moments against the crushing emotions that threatend to shatter his facade of calm at any moment. Finally he could speak again. "There were four of them. They used him Nathan. When I found him, their leavings were all over him. God Nathan, he didn't want you to see him like that. Begged me to clean him up first. He was so hurt and weak, but he couldn't stand the idea of anyone seeing what they did to him."
Chris's eyes met Nathan's again and the healer could see the misery in them. "It's OK, Chris. Cleanin' 'im up didn't hurt 'im none. Mighta even been a help to 'im. Keep infection from settin' in." Nathan just hoped Chris could hear the truth in his voice. "Let's get 'im tended to."+ + + + + + +
After what seemed like hours to Chris, Nathan finally finished tending to Vin's wounds. He was glad for the healer's gentle touch and ability - Vin only cried out a few times - but then again, between the whiskey, the laudanum and Vin's already weakened condition, the tracker had been pretty much out of it to begin with.
"He's gonna be okay, Chris," Nathan said as he washed his hands. "Just gonna need a little time. And understandin'," he added.
"He's got that from me already, Nate," the gunslinger replied tiredly.
"I'm sure the others will -," the healer began, but was cut off by Chris.
"No!" Chris practically growled, standing up to meet Nathan face to face. "The others aren't going to know about this. As far as they're concerned, he just got beat and roughed up by those four. Not one word of what else they did. You hear me?"
"Yeah, Chris, I hear ya," Nathan replied, quietly.
He took a seat next to the bed and thought about the way Chris had been reacting to Vin's injuries. Something had changed between the gunslinger and the tracker over the past few months - made them closer. Maybe it was just a friendship that had been strengthened over time. Further contemplation were interrupted then, by the whispered words of his patient.
"No…leave me alone…bastards! Chris!"
"Easy, Vin, I'm here," Chris soothed, putting a gentle hand to Vin's cheek. "You're safe."
His fear calmed by the soothing voice, Vin leaned into Chris's hand, into the caress.
"That's right, Vin," Nathan added. "You're up at my clinic now."
Vin's eyes flew open and he twisted away from Chris's hand at the sound of the healer's voice. Realization that he and Chris were not alone - that they could not be open about their relationship - hit him and he began to search for words to hide what he'd been doing.
"It's alright, Vin," Nathan said, meeting the tracker's fearful gaze. "I know."+ + + + + + +
"Who else?" Vin glared at Chris as he pushed himself further away from his concerned lover, while refusing to meet the anxious healer's gaze.
"I don't under--"
"Who else did ya tell about 'poor' Vin?" The abused tracker unreasonably charged. "Ya tell Buck--the others? Did ya tell 'em everythin'?" Vin's voice rose to fever pitch as he lost himself in the fear that not only had those men taken his body and his life in Four Corners, but his family as well.
"Vin, please," Chris begged as he reached out to comfort his distraught lover. "I wouldn't do that, you know that. I told you no one would hurt you again."
Evading the comfort of Chris's outstretched hands, Vin caught a glimpse of Nathan's face. If he had looked deep he would have seen compassion and anger at those who had done this to his friend, but all the tracker could see was pity and his own shame staring back at him.
"Then leave me be," Vin whispered as he pulled his legs up, hugging his knees to his chest, "Yer hurtin' me by bein' here."
Chris flinched as though he had been shot, and part of him wish he had. He would rather suffer anything than hear those words from the man he come to love. "You don't mean that pard."
"I do," Vin answered, as refused to look into the green eyes that made his heart melt. "Cain't keep seein' ya knowin' that nothin's goin' to be the same--I ain't the same."
Chris couldn't argue Vin's reasoning, nothing would be the same again, but he was not going to give up on his lover. "You're still a Tanner, just like your ma told you all those years ago. Or are ya going to let them have that too?"+ + + + + + +
"Leave me alone Chris," Vin said. "I ain't the same man I was. Ya don't understand."
"I ain't leaving you alone, cowboy," Chris said softly, laying his hand on Vin's arm gently. "That's what got us in the mess in the first place. I'm not ever gonna leave you alone again."
Vin tried to pull his arm out from under Chris's hand, but the older man tightened his hold on Vin.
"And I don't know what you mean by saying you're not the same man as you were. Nothing's changed between us Vin. I mean that."
Vin felt his resolve crumble at Chris's words. He risked a quick glance at Chris, seeing only love and compassion in the steady, green gaze. A sob caught in his throat as he began to uncoil himself on the bed, and reached out a shaky hand to his lover.
"Help me Chris," he whispered. "It hurts. Everything hurts."
"Vin, it's gonna be all right," Chris reassured, enfolding the younger man in his arms. "Nathan'll take care of you. You won't be hurting any more."
Vin shook his head. "No, it....it ain't like that, Chris." He pulled back away from the older man, placing his hand over his heart. "It hurts in here. Since those men....did those things to me....it hurts in here. Like it used to before I met ya. And I don't want it to be like that anymore."
"Oh Vin," Chris said softly, hugging Vin to him once again, squeezing him as tightly as he dared, because of the injuries. "I'll make it stop hurting, I swear. I love you Vin. Everything's gonna be okay, again, real soon. You just gotta trust me, and stay with me." He pulled back to look at Vin's face intently. "Will you do that for me Vin?"
After a slight moment's hesitation, Vin nodded back, giving his lover a small, tremulous smile. "I-I'll try, Chris."
"Good," Chris said with a sigh of relief, placing Vin back on the bed gently.+ + + + + + +
Over the next few days, Vin's physical well being seemed to improve. Nathan forced herbal teas on him to help ease things when he tended to his personal business. He still need someone's help to go outside to the privy, but it was a big step to be able to go outside instead of using the chamber pot in Nathan's clinic. His biggest obstacle was applying the flax ointment that Nathan had given him to help with the pain. Vin couldn't bring himself to touch himself, so unless it hurt terribly, he wiped the salve on the wall of the outhouse to make Nathan believe he was using it.
Each day he slept and waited. Waited for his body to heal from the terrible wounds that still haunted him. Progress was slow. He decided to work on his reading. But he couldn't have Mary bring him his primers without the others knowing. Giving up he talked Nathan into letting him sit in the sun on the balcony porch.
With extra padding, a chair was made comfortable and Vin ventured outside. He was dozing when the rock hit him in the chest. Startled, he sat raised his head quickly causing his damaged ribs to hurt. Grimacing, he looked out and down to see a group of boys with more stones. Before he could move, a rock caught him flush on the cheekbone while a larger one slammed into his upper arm. As the boys scattered, one of them shouted. "We don't want your kind around here!"
Vin reached up and touched his cheek as he felt warm blood flow from the cut the rock had created. With the words ringing in his ears, Vin doubled over and grabbed at the aching area on his upper arm. The door opened and Nathan rushed out onto the balcony.
"What happened? Who?" Looking around, Nathan found the bloody rock and several others surrounding the chair. Seeing Vin with his head resting on his knees, Nathan knelt down and laid his hand on the back of the tracker's neck. "Vin? Look up, let me see."
"Go away. Just go away." Vin's voice was muffled as he kept his head buried in his lap. The blanket covering his lap began to soak with blood and Vin pulled it up to cover the stinging wound on his face.
Chris walked slowly down the boardwalk. Carrying a tray of soup and fresh bread for Vin's lunch, Chris looked forward to sharing the time with the tracker. Just being able to get out and around had seemed to lift Vin's spirits and he was starting to focus on things outside of his own surroundings.
Turning the corner to Nathan's clinic, Chris looked up expecting to see the handsome face of a sleeping tracker. Instead he saw Nathan kneeling beside the chair talking intently to Vin. Vin momentarily lifted his head to answer Nathan and Chris saw that it was covered in blood. Vin brushed away Nathan's attempt to examine the cut and pushed the healer backwards as he made his way inside the clinic.
Chris dropped the tray of food and ran quickly up the stairs. "Nathan! Nathan, what happened?" Chris bent helping Nathan regain his feet. Looking through the doorway, he saw Vin crouched in the corner on the floor. Pushing open the door, Chris made his way inside. He stopped when he saw what Vin was holding.
"Don't ....don't come any closer, Chris. I'll use it. You know I will!" Vin sat huddled, his face and chest covered in blood holding his mare's leg so the barrel pointed up under his chin.+ + + + + + +
"Vin what the hell are you doing?" Chris demanded in shock.
Nathan stood behind him, looking from one to the other of them, not daring to say anything. Vin was on the edge right now, not thinking clearly. One false move, and they could drive him over. Chris knew the tracker better than anyone, and Nathan trusted that Larabee would be able to get the gun away from Vin - if anyone could.
Vin looked at them with anguished eyes and Chris turned carefully towards Nathan. "Go downstairs and keep everybody out," he instructed the healer softly. Larabee's green eyes never left Vin's. He was certain that Vin wouldn't be able to pull the trigger, if he was looking into Chris's eyes.
Nathan nodded reluctantly and closed the door firmly behind himself. When the door closed with a soft click, Chris did the one thing Vin didn't expect him to do. Keeping eye contact, the blond crossed the small room and sat in the chair that he'd practically lived in, since Vin had been brought here.
"I don't think I can take it," Vin whispered ashamed of his weakness. Them kids know Chris. And, if kids know, then the whole damned town knows." The gun wavered, but didn't drop.
"Them kids don't know anything," Chris stated flatly, "and neither does anyone else. Just you, me, and Nathan and that's the way it's gonna stay."
"They know somethin'," Vin insisted. "Why else would they be throwin' rocks at me?"
"How about because, one of them was Caleb Gardner's kid and Caleb hates indians more than anyone around these parts. He hates your guts too, because you lived with 'em." Chris reminded the Texan.
"What if somebody finds out?" Vin's voice was thin and brittle, and the words sounded as desperate as he looked, standing there with his mare's leg pointed at his throat.
"Ain't nobody gonna find out. Not about what those bastards did to you, or about us," Chris replied patiently. "Not unless you let them win. You gonna let them bastards beat you now?" Chris's voice was getting harder and colder as he spoke. "All the shit you've lived through and this is what you're gonna let get the best of you. Goddammit Vin, you're the strongest man I know. When I killed Eli Jo, I know it just about killed you too. I saw the look on your face. But you just sat up on that roof and got it all straight in your head and then came down, your mind already thinking about findin' another way to clear your name."
Vin lowered the gun a little, but Chris knew that the tracker could still kill both of them, before the older man could cross the few feet between them. But, Vin was listening, that was something. Maybe, Chris dared to hope, Vin was even hearing him.
"What about all those things you promised your ma. Didn't you mean any of them?" Chris demanded his voice harsh now.
"Don't," the bounty hunter breathed.
"Why not? Wouldn't this make your ma proud? Ain't that how a Tanner would go out? Blowin' his brains out, cause he's scared.
"Shut up!" Vin hissed at his lover. "Shut the fuck up."
"Why? So you can pretend that you're gonna do this for some other reason than that you're scared shitless? You wanta pretend it's to make it easier on the rest of us? Don't try to shovel that shit around here? Yeah, cleanin' your brains up would be real easy on Nate. You think he'd ever be able to step foot in this place again, without seeing you laying there with your head blown off? JD'd think it was best, wouldn't he? Kid stood up to a whole goddamn posse alone to save your sorry ass."
Chris saw the gun drop to where the barrel was pointed at the floor and he noticed that Vin's face was white and his lips were clenched tightly. His eyes blazed with a fury that Chris hadn't seen since before those men had kidnapped Vin. The blond wasn't sure what was going to happen, but he was sure that Vin was on the brink of some kind of breakthrough in dealing with what had happened to him. So, the older man pushed harder.
"Guess, it's really just me you think it'd be easier on, if you weren't around. Hell, I already buried my wife and son. Burying you should be a piece of cake, right? No fuckin' way pard. You think I give a shit if you fucked half the goddamn territory? You think I care, if you sucked every dick between here and Texas? I fucked a sizeable portion of it myself. Shit, most of who I fucked, I can't even remember for the last three years." Chris spoke ruthlessly, trying to make that festering wound in Vin's soul break open and let the poison out, so the younger man could finally begin to heal. "All you've been sayin', is you ain't the same. The same as what? Your ass is healing and the cum washed off. So, how the hell are you different? Because somebody else took you? So, I guess you're sayin' that if I ever get caught by four men and they take me, I should put a gun to my head and blow my brains out, 'cause you wouldn't want me no more."
Vin dropped the gun and charged his best friend. Enraged, he tried to smash Chris in the mouth, but the gunslinger caught his fist and spun him around, until Vin's back was up against Chris's chest. Chris pinned his arms to his side and held on for dear life as the wiry tracker squirmed and struggled to get out of his grip. Vin was screaming obscenities at the older man and demanding that Chris let him go.
"No way pard. Not till we settle this." Chris's voice had lost the hard edge. "Don't you know, that I don't care if they fucked you fifty different ways. I was so fucking scared when I found you that you would die. And I ain't about to let you go without a fight."
Vin finally managed to break away from Chris, and he turned back to face the older man, in a fighting stance. The older man saw the fury in his eyes and stared back calmly.
"You can survive and go back to living, or you can let them win? What's it gonna be pard?" Chris asked holding his breath.
"Mother fuckers . . ." Vin screamed along with every other foul word he could think of. The rage that had been hiding inside of Vin's soul finally erupted and the tracker directed it at the bed he'd been forced to lie in for days on end. Punching and kicking the mattress over and over, the tracker screamed his pain out.
Chris let him scream and hit and kick, until the younger man ran out of steam. Vin collapsed on his back, panting heavily, the exertion having worn him out.
When his breathing had calmed enough, that he could talk, Vin spoke quietly. "Reckon, I had ya worried a mite."
"A mite," Chris conceded, pulling the chair closer to the bed.
Vin grinned ruefully. "Reckon, I was worryin' myself a mite too. I ain't gonna do nothin' stupid, you can relax about that."
"Glad to hear it, cowboy," Chris grinned back at him. "You ready to let Nathan stitch up that cut?" He pointed to the place on Vin's forehead, that was still seeping blood.
"Depends," Vin said cryptically.
"On what?" Chris demanded.
"Think he'll try to make me drink any of that horse piss, he calls medicine?"
"Probably," Chris laughed and went to the door to call Nathan.+ + + + + + +
Moving through the doorway, the smile quickly faded as the full realization at what had nearly occurred hit the man in black. With his legs threatening to give way from under him, Chris was about to reach to the wall for support when he noticed his trembling hands. Turning his hands palm up, he looked down at the shaking flesh, but all he could see was his lover threatening to blow his head off.
"Chris?"
Trying to control his rage at the circumstances that had brought about the averted tragedy, Chris fingers curled in to white knuckled fists.
Nathan had nervously waited, pacing the room as he prayed that Chris would be able to get through to the tracker. As the town healer, Nathan had surprised himself to be capable of treating most injuries, but a wound to the spirit was totally out of range of his abilities. Vin's heartbreaking despondency had cut to the healer's core and that he was helpless to help, made it all the worse.
The lack of gunfire and the sight of Chris re-entering the room, lessened Nathan's anxiety somewhat, but when the blonde man refused to heed his calls, his concern grew.
"Chris? Is everything all right? Vin?"
Waking from the nightmare, Chris nodded, "Yeah, he's gonna be fine," Looking up to face his friend, the gunfighter's mouth opened, but no words came at first as he struggled to voice his fear. "God--I really thought--" he sighed. "Jesus Nate, what if he hadn't listened to me?"
"What ifs don't matter, Chris, all that matters is, he did listen. Is that stubborn fool going to let me look at that cut now?" Nathan asked with a smile.
A relieved smile passed over Chris lips in return, "Yeah, but yer under orders, none of that horse piss of yours." He joked.
"Oh, is that right?" Nathan chuckled as he reached for the bottle that held the odious liquid. "Then I'll have to make sure he gets a double dose," he winked+ + + + + + +
"I'm not sure about this, Chris..." Vin said, his voice agreeing with his words.
"It's only temporary, Vin," the gunslinger replied.
"But what about the others?" the younger man asked. It was obvious that he was still fearful of the others not only finding out what had really happened to him, but about his relationship with Chris as well.
"You're still hurtin' too much to go back to that wagon of yours," Chris replied. "They'll understand that. Especially with Mrs. Jenkins being in the clinic now, waiting on that baby of hers."
"'Spose yer right," Vin agreed.
"Now come on. I promised Nate that you'd get some shut eye," Chris continued, gently shoving Vin back onto his bed.
"When you think they'll be back?" the sharpshooter asked.
"Don't know," the blond replied, sitting down on the bed. "Those two had a good day and a half head start. But Buck and the boys'll find them."
Chris was looking out the window, thinking about what he would do when Buck and the others returned with the bodies. He had no doubt that Buck would follow through and kill the Joe Burke and Wayne 'Smitty' Smith. The ladies' man saw the condition Vin was in; saw that he'd been tortured. Chris just wished he could be there to see the justice done. Dole some of it out himself. He was startled when he felt Vin's hand on his arm.
"Cowboy?" Vin called. When Chris turned to meet his gaze, he continued, "Lay with me a spell?"
Chris smiled. He couldn't resist the blue eyes that were begging for comfort. He nodded his head and took off his gun belt before easing himself under the blankets and next to Vin.+ + + + + + +
A soft knock on the door brought Chris out of the light sleep he'd fallen into. He grabbed a gun from its holster and went to the door. "Who is it?" he asked.
"It's Nathan," the black man whispered. "They're back."
"I'll be right there," Chris replied.
He reholstered his gun and put the gun belt around his waist. After putting on his boots and hat he took a last look at Vin's still slumbering form before quietly leaving the room.
He met Buck, JD, Josiah and Ezra down on the street below. He noticed the two blanket wrapped bodies tied to horses behind the four men.
"We got 'em, Chris," Buck said. "Found the two just inside Eagle Bend. Sheriff there verified their identities."
Chris headed toward the horses and bodies.
Josiah, who had dismounted just moments before, was next to the horses. He quickly released the knots on the ropes holding the bodies onto the horses, dropping the bodies unceremoniously to the ground. Chris pulled back the edges of the blankets, wanting to make sure for himself that his men had gotten Burke and Smith.
"That's them," a raspy voice drawled.
Six men turned to see Vin leaning heavily on a porch railing and post in front of Nathan's clinic.
"That's them," Chris repeated.+ + + + + + +
"Can't take all the credit for killin' 'em either," Buck said in a disguted voice. Chris looked at Buck intently, his expression hard. The mustached man hurried to continue his tale. "The bigger one had just shot the other one when we rode up. Then he started shootin' at us. JD got this one here," Buck gestured to one of the blanket covered corpses with his boot, "clean between the eyes, after that bastard grazed Josiah on the shoulder. Didn't even know how lucky we were 'til we got close enough to see 'em real clear. And then the sheriff confirmed everything."
"Nice job fellas," Chris said, turning away from the two bodies, dismissing them as the garbage that they were. His features softened as he looked back at Vin. "Go on inside now Vin, no reason for you to be out here," he said gently.
"I wanna see 'em up close," Vin insisted, struggling off the porch, heading toward the two bodies.
"No Vin, you don't need to see 'em," Chris said in a choked voice, reaching for the sharpshooter, pulling him back. "Just forget about 'em."
Vin stared at Chris with pain filled eyes. "I can't forget," he moaned miserably. "What they did to me..."
"They'll never do it again, Vin. Nobody ever will, I swear. They can't hurt you now," Chris said, his voice shaking with emotion. "Please, come back inside."
"Not yet Chris, please. I gotta see the bodies," Vin begged.
Chris nodded, unable to refuse the pleading blue eyes. "Come on then," he said quietly, steadying Vin with a strong hand around his elbow, steering him to the corpses.
"Sons of bitches," Vin cursed, spitting on the two dead men after Buck had bent down and exposed their faces. He straightened and turned to his friends.
"Thank you for bringing 'em back," he said simply. 'And thank you for killin' 'em,' he silently added. Now maybe he really could forget.
"You're welcome pard," Buck answered back. Ezra gave him a two-finger salute off his hat brim, Josiah smiled slightly, clapping his hand to Vin's back in a comforting gesture. JD gave Vin a shy smile, secretly pleased that he had saved Josiah, and helped bring down the men who had hurt his friend so badly.
"Okay Vin, that's enough, let's get you back inside," Chris said determinedly, as Vin began to tremble.
Vin nodded slightly, and leaning against Chris heavily, allowed the older man to lead him back inside.
"Back to bed you go Vin," Chris said, pulling back the covers and tucking Vin back in.
"Will ya lay with me again?" Vin asked softly.
"Nothin' I'd rather do right now Vin," Chris said, giving the younger man a tender smile, and slipping under the covers with him once again.+ + + + + + +
Twenty minutes later, Vin was sound asleep and Chris knew that Nathan would be back any minute to check on his patient, so he carefully slipped out from under the blankets. Pulling the chair up close to the bed, Larabee and sat down and took one of Vin's hands in his own.
The gunfighter stared at his sleeping lover and a picture of Vin, beaten and abused and hiding in the bushes, sprang unbidden into his thoughts. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to get the horrible image out of his head. Finally it faded and he opened his eyes and they swept over the Texan's face. The bruises had changed from dark purple to a fading green and yellow.
"I swear to you, nothin' and nobody's ever gonna hurt you that way again," he whispered and caressed Vin's cheek.
One Week Later
"Dammit Chris, I ain't an invalid and I ain't an old lady needs help gettin' in 'er buggy!" Vin swore in frustration. Nathan had finally given him the OK to ride and Chris wouldn't stop fussing over him. He was actually trying to help Vin mount his horse. "Been mountin' my own damn horse for a lot o' years now!"
Chris clenched his teeth tightly, trying to keep his temper in check. Vin had been as bad tempered and ill mannered over the last week as he'd ever seen him. No doubt, Vin's behavior had been the chief reason Nathan had pronounced him fit to leave Chris's room two days earlier than the healer had been set on.
Knowing how much , Chris had to smile a little when he remembered the way Vin's face had lit up when Nathan had practically snarled, "Fine, you want out so bad, I guess ya ain't gonna kill yerself goin' off on yer own tomorrow instead o' Saturday. Just don't come bellyachin' ta me, if ya fall off yer horse, when ya mount up." Vin had looked like a kid on Christmas morning who finds exactly what he wanted under the tree. God, Chris thought with a sharp pang in his heart, takes so goddamn little to make him happy. His anger at Vin's behavior faded. As much as the younger man had been through, a few bad moods were to be expected.
"Alright," Chris said curtly, "but don't bellyache to me, if you fall off."
Vin stared at the blond for a moment, before he burst out laughing, as he swung painfully up into Peso's saddle.
"What's so funny?" Chris demanded curiously.
"Didn't know you and Nathan sounded that much alike," Vin grinned at him.
Chris remembered Nathan's words and grinned back, before nudging his horse into a canter and heading out. Vin urged his own horse to follow after and soon they had left Four Corners behind.
"Where we headin'?" Vin asked casually. It was only a couple of hours until dark, so they couldn't go far. Three days ago, Chris had promised him that if he'd just cooperate with the healer, that the two of them would ride out somewhere as soon as Nathan finally ended his imprisonment. Vin had held him to that, even though Nathan hadn't given him the ok to get out of the boarding house until after lunch and another examination.
"My house," Chris replied.
"Ain't much of a ride out to yer house," Vin said doubtfully.
"I wanta be alone with you, without worryin' about anybody else comin' around," Chris responded meaningfully and his eyes travelled the length of Vin's body.
"Oh," was all Vin said and he nudged his horse into a faster gait and passed by Chris.
The older man said nothing and didn't try to catch up to him. Chris knew that Vin was bound to have mixed emotions about their being together again. He also knew that Vin needed to deal with them on his own first, before he attempted to share his feelings with Chris.
Vin's emotions were mixed. He knew that Chris wanted him. Hell, he wanted Chris, but he couldn't get them out of his head. The things they'd done. Would he be able to be with Chris that way, or would they ruin that? Closing his eyes, Vin urged the big horse into a gallop.
Larabee was gratified to see Vin's horse tethered in front of his house when he pulled his horse up. He hadn't been all that sure, that Vin would stop here.
Chris dismounted and decided to unsaddle both horses before he confronted Vin. The older man was a little worried that Vin would try to take off and if the tracker had to saddle his horse, it would at least slow him down long enough for Chris to try to talk him into staying.
When the horses were bedded down, hopefully for the night, Chris looked at his house. A lamp was burning and he could see smoke curling out of the chimney in the fading light. "Wish me luck boys," Larabee muttered and patted his horse's rump, before heading for the house.
Vin was sitting at the table in the kitchen, staring at a cup of coffee his hands were wrapped around. Chris stood in the doorway, feeling awkward and unsure of what to say. The Texan saved him from having to make conversation, by speaking.
"Coffee's hot," he drawled, pointing to the pot steaming on the stove.
Chris nodded and poured himself a cup, wishing it was something a hell of a lot stronger than coffee.
Sitting down, with his coffee in hand, Chris decided to let Vin take the lead here. The tracker took his coffee and went out onto the porch and sat down on the step. Chris watched him staring into the twilight and hoped like hell that Vin would be able to put what they'd done to him behind him.
Tanner stared into the coming night, trying to decide what to do. Chris was waiting and even though he hadn't pushed, Vin knew what he wanted. "Me," he whispered to himself. Could he do it? Did he want to lay with Chris? It had all been so clear before them. Now, he was so damned confused and the only person he had ever been able to talk to about these things with, was the person who was the source of his confusion. What the hell was he gonna do?
The sun was almost completely gone, and Vin was still sitting there. Chris decided that if the Texan didn't come in on his own soon, then he would just have to drag Vin inside. The last thing he'd promised Nathan, was that he'd see to it that Vin rested and took it easy. Truthfully, Chris was glad to have his promise to the healer, to fall back on if Vin turned stubborn on him.
Vin saved Chris having to drag him into the house, by coming back inside a few minutes later. Sighing heavily, he sank onto one of the chairs and stared at the wall when he spoke.
"I ain't been sure about anything since them." His soft Texas drawl was even softer than normal, when he continued, "Only thing I know for certain is that I love ya and I don't want them takin' ya from me." His voice broke and he closed his eyes against the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. It was bad enough that Chris had seen him cry when he had been out of his head with pain. Vin didn't think he'd ever be able to meet Chris's eyes if he broke down just talking to him.
Chris was kneeling in front of him, before he finished speaking and he put his arms around the tracker. "You ain't gotta worry about losin' me," he spoke softly. "Ain't never gonna happen. No matter what, I'm always gonna be here."
Lifting Vin's chin, so he could see his eyes, Chris stared into their troubled blue depths for a long moment before he dipped his head and brushed a soft kiss across Vin's lips. He could feel the panic in his lover. Vin was trembling and his heart was beating wildly. Chris kneaded the top of Vin's shoulders and put his lips close to the younger man's ear. "Easy, I ain't gonna do nothin' you ain't ready for," he whispered soothingly.
Vin heard the quiet words and felt the strong hands trying to relax his tense muscles and his body responded. When Chris had kissed him, he'd panicked, that was the only word for it. He hadn't known why and he hadn't known what to do, but Chris had. Chris always knew. The older man read him better than he read himself sometimes. It seemed like Chris could just look at him and know if he needed to be left alone, or if he needed to be held. Vin had trusted Chris with everything and he was gonna trust him now.
Taking a deep breath, Vin met Chris's eyes. "I want ya. Just don't know how far I'm gonna be able to go just now," he spoke softly, hoping Chris understood.
Chris stood and pulled Vin up into his arms. He held the bounty hunter close and stroked his hair and waited for Vin's breathing to steady and his wildly beating heart to calm. When Vin's body was no longer trembling, Chris leaned back and met his eyes. "How about we just go to bed and let whatever happens - - or doesn't - - happen. I meant what I said. I want you, I ain't gonna pretend I don't, but only when you're ready. I can wait as long as you need me to."
With that, Chris let the younger man go and turned towards the bed. He took a few steps and turned back and faced Vin and held his hand out to the Texan. Vin studied his face for a long minute, before he took the hand Chris was offering and hesitantly followed the older man to the bed.
Chris was immensely relieved when Vin took his hand, even if Tanner did look like a condemned man making his way to the gallows.
Vin followed Chris to the bed, feeling like he was going to that hanging the good citizens of Tascosa wanted him to attend. What if he couldn't - - ? He saw Chris reach the bed and stop and he stopped and tried to remember what he was supposed to do next. Vin closed his eyes and swallowed hard and tried to think. The next thing he was aware of was a quiet voice in his ear. "Why don't you get undressed now," the voice suggested kindly and Vin gratefully complied, glad that Chris at least, was still able to think and remember what they were supposed to do.
Chris saw the way Vin froze and knew that the Texan was so apprehensive, that he couldn't think straight. So, he leaned over and tried to keep his voice soothing, when he suggested that Vin get undressed. Vin's whole body seemed to sag in relief at Chris's suggestion. The blond realized that everything was going to be difficult for Vin tonight and he resolved to make the rest of the night as easy as possible on the Texan.
Vin took his guns and boots off mechanically and then removed his bandana and shirt. However, when he got to his pants, he couldn't make himself undo the buttons holding them closed. As badly as he wanted too, he just couldn't take them off.
Larabee frowned, when he saw Vin's obvious distress at removing his pants. The sharpshooter was plainly apprehensive at the thought of giving up the security they offered. Putting a hand on Vin's shoulder, the blond spoke comfortingly into his ear. "Why don't you just leave 'em on for now and get into bed."
Vin sighed in relief. As much as he wanted to be with Chris, he couldn't shake the apprehension he was feeling. Vin climbed into the bed and pulled the covers over his shoulders and watched Chris remove his clothes and then lock the door and turn down the lamp.
Vin was leaning against the wall, with the covers pulled up to his neck when Chris turned back around. He had to smother a laugh, because with his hands clutching the covers up around his neck, his wild and wooly lover looked exactly like the grandmother in that story Sarah used to read to Adam. Well move over granny, he thought evilly, 'cause the big bad wolf's coming to bed.
Vin watched Chris approach the bed, with a mixture of nervousness and desire. This was the man he loved and he wanted him, but still - - there were those other memories. Would they be crowding in the bed tonight? Or would Chris be able to vanquish them?
Chris sat on the bed facing Vin and reached out and caressed his cheek. "Been a long time since I could touch you like this, without worryin' about somebody interrupting," he said softly.
"Too long," Vin answered simply and closed his eyes and leaned into the calloused hand.
"You sure about that, cowboy?" Chris asked meaningfully.
Vin's blue eyes were somber when they opened. He studied Chris's face searching the green eyes that were watching him for long minutes. Finally he answered. "Yeah, I want you Chris,' he drawled quietly. "Don't want them bastards ruinin' this for us."
"Nobody's gonna come between us, ever," Chris whispered fervently. "I won't let them." And, he leaned in and kissed Vin tenderly, relishing the softness of the tracker's lips. He relished even more, the tiny sigh of pleasure that escaped his lover.
The blond traced the soft lips lightly with his tongue and was thrilled when they parted and let him enter. He explored the sweet mouth, learning the familiar depths all over again. Vin's tongue met his and they touched and stroked each other's tongues slowly, savoring their first unhurried kisses since before Ella's thugs had taken Vin.
Vin coud feel the emotions their memory had caused melting away with those gentle kisses. The fear and pain and anger and guilt were being overwhelmed by the tenderness and love they were sharing. Vin moaned softly in his throat and tightened his arms around Chris. It felt so good to be in his arms again.
Chris was thrilled with Vin's reaction. It looked like they were going to be able to get back to where they'd been before. No, Chris thought, they weren't going back to where they'd been. They were going ahead to a place where they were even closer. The older man felt Vin's hands pulling him closer and he broke off the kiss and breathed, "I love you so much," against the younger man's ear.
"I love you too," Vin whispered back breathlessly and hugged his lover tightly. His hands roamed over Chris's broad back, almost desperately feeling the soft skin covering bones and rippling muscles. "Oh God!" he cried out. "I want you so bad. Make love to me please. I need ya, so much."
"Easy," Chris responded softly. "I'm gonna make love to you, but we're gonna take it nice and slow. I want you feeling better than you ever felt before when I take you." And with that, he began kissing and caressing the Texan everywhere. His hands roamed over the lean body, squeezing and stroking every inch of skin he could reach. His mouth was busily nibbling and sucking and licking his way down the smooth chest and the flat stomach.
Vin's hands continued their frantic roaming, until Chris's body was too far away for him to reach. Finally he could only caress Chris's face and let his fingers twine through the short blond locks. He didn't care, he had to touch Chris in some fashion. The tracker felt like his being able to touch Chris was the only thing keeping >them at bay.
The blond could feel the trembling in the graceful fingers that stroked his cheek. How much of the trembling was passion and how much was nerves or fear, he wasn't sure. He moved back up the slender body and found Vin's mouth again with his own. He pressed his palms against Vin's palms and interlaced their fingers. Moving thier hands over Vin's head, he gently rocked his pelvis against the younger man's.
Vin gasped out loud at the sensations coursing through his body. Had he really been worried that he wouldn't want to be with Chris again? He wanted his lover so badly right now, he felt like his cock was going to burst if Chris didn't give him some relief. "Please, I need you now," he whispered.
The older man brushed a light kiss over his lips and then spoke softly against his ear. "Let's get you outta these pants now."
Vin didn't hesitate, he just let go of one of Chris's hands and began unbuttoning his pants. On the second button Chris's free hand covered his and together they slowly unfastened the tan pants the tracker wore. Chris kissed him again and slid his hands inside the open fly and began slowly stroking the rock hard penis inside. Vin was almost undone when he felt the strong hand touching him.
"Now," he growled, as he leaned up and pulled his pants off. "I need ya, right now."
Chris was loving every minute of this. He'd been so damned worried - - worried nothing, he admitted to himself. He'd been scared shitless, that Vin would reject his advances. His lover had been through so much and it would have been so easy for Vin to turn his back on their relationship. Larabee was just glad, that he hadn't. "Alright," he whispered, as his hand reached over and fumbled in the small night table, searching and finally finding the oil they'd need. "I'm needing ya pretty damn bad myself."
Vin leaned up and kissed Chris hard, hoping the older man would hurry. He started to turn onto his stomach, when he felt Chris's hand on his shoulder.
"I wanta see you and I want you to see me," Chris told him.
Vin nodded and settled back against the pillow and stroked Chris's body, while the other man opened the oil and poured a little into his hand. Rubbing his hands together, the gunslinger quickly coated them with the slippery liquid. He gently cupped and stroked Vin's full balls with one slick hand, while he slid first one then two fingers inside of the tight entrance.
Vin's groin arched towards the talented hands readying him for Chris's cock. He moaned and Chris laughed softly and slid his fingers out of Vin's body. His lover was as ready as the blond could hope for and he quickly poured a little more of the oil onto his own rock hard erection and rubbed it in.
Larabee moved up over Vin's body, until his shaft was poised at the tight opening. Vin's blue eyes were dark with passion, when he met Chris's searching green gaze. "I'm ready for ya," the younger man spoke clearly and pushed himself against the hard member pushing back.
Chris's eyes never left Vin's, while he pushed and rocked against the tight opening. Both men gasped, when the muscle gave and Chris slipped inside the soft heat. The blond found the tracker's mouth and Vin's lips parted to let Chris's tongue inside. They kissed slowly, matching the deliberate pace of Chris's thrusts.
The two men moved in a sweet rhythym, Vin's hips pushing forward, and Chris pulling back. Then Chris would thrust deeply and Vin would let his hips fall to the bed. All the while the older man's hand was wrapped around Vin's erection, stroking and pulling in time with their thrusts.
Finally, Chris heard the sound he'd missed for so long. Vin growled low and deep and then cried out, "Oh God! I'm coming." And his hot juices sprayed over their Chris's hand and onto their middles. The tightening of Vin's body sent Chris over the edge and he screamed out Vin's name and thrust wildly into the pliant body, before he collapsed on top of the slender body.
They lay together, the only sound in the small house, that of their panting breaths. Chris recovered first and looked at his lover with some concern. He needed to be sure Vin wasn't regretting their being together. All of his doubts vanished, when he saw the half closed eyes and the satisfied smile on the Texan's face. Vin looked completely sated - - and not a bit regretful.
Chris kissed him gently and started to get up to find something to clean them up with, when Vin pulled him back down. "Stay with me," he urged. "I don't wantcha to go nowhere yet."
"Just wanta get a rag and wipe us off," Chris informed him and tried to get back up again.
"Ain't worried about gettin' wiped off," Vin responded quickly. "I just need to touch you, to make sure yer real."
"I'm real pard," Chris settled on his side beside the younger man and urged Vin over onto his side, so that they could spoon together. When he was lying on one arm and had the other one wrapped around Vin's middle, Chris nuzzled the side of Vin's neck and pulled him as close as he could.
"Yeah, I'm real and so are you and ain't nothing ever gonna come between us again," he said softly.
"Nothing," Vin whispered back and laced his finger's through Chris's. "I'm glad you talked sense to me, back there in Nathan's clinic," he drawled so softly, Chris almost didn't hear it.
"Me too," Chris agreed emotionally. "You're worth everything to me."
"No, we're worth everything to each other," Vin corrected, with a contented smile and a huge yawn.
"Go to sleep," Chris instructed and in minutes, he heard the slow rhythmic breathing that signaled that the Texan was asleep.
"Worth everything," Chris repeated softly and fell asleep holding the man he loved.
THE END
Comments to: dirtydozen1@hotmail.com