ATF Universe
THREE
Chris watched as Vin twisted and fell sideways trying to avoid the shotgun blast. The man's scream had brought Chris' head up in time to see the blast of the gun in Vin's direction. His own gun was out and firing before the man could start to reload. Running toward Vin, Chris didn't stop to check to see if he man was dead. He knew he was.Calling for Nathan, Chris fell to his knees at Vin's side. Lying face down, Vin's head was turned toward Chris; a vacant stare in his eyes. Chris could see blood seeping into the ground underneath Vin. Reaching down, Chris eased Vin over on his back as Nathan and the paramedics arrived.
Vin's shirt and pants were totally soaked on the left side. Chris saw a pooling of blood near Vin's hip bone and pressed downward trying to stop the blood from flowing so quickly. One paramedic eased Vin's head back, covering his face with an oxygen mask. Keeping his hand on Vin's neck, the medic could feel Vin's pulse beating rapidly and faintly. "I've got a pulse but it's weak and fast, let's get a line in him now."
His partner handed Nathan fluids and an IV set and Nathan swiftly found a vein and hurriedly flushed saline into Vin's body. Cutting away Vin's clothes from around Chris' hand, the other medic noted multiple wounds from the buckshot. Chris had his hand over the largest wound, but there was still a considerable amount of blood oozing around his fingers.
"Looks like we've got a bleeder. Keep holding pressure, Chris. I'm gonna get another IV in him before his veins collapse. Phil? You got a pressure?" The lead medic asked.
"Got 70 over 30. Heart rates 140. Respiratory rate is picking up..about 30 a minute. We've got to get rolling here." Looking up at Josiah, he said. "Hey, can you get that helicopter back down here? Your friend isn't going to make it if we have to drive him to University Trauma Center."
"I'll get it." Josiah said moving quickly to the communications truck.
Chris looked down at the blood still flowing through his fingers. "How much harder can I push. His bleeding isn't stopping." Biting back the fear he felt deep in his stomach, Chris looked from the medics to Vin's face.
Grabbing a set of gloves, Nathan moved next to Chris. "Chris, let me do it. I'm gonna have to get my hand inside that wound. That's arterial bleeding, I need to try and localize it if I can." Chris let go as Nathan worked his fingers inside the wound pressing gauze inside as he went. Pulling aside some tissue, Nathan saw the spurting vessel and clamped his hand down on it.
Vin arched his back and cried out weakly as the new pain hit him. "Ah...please....no!" Weakly slapping his left hand at the area from where the pain was coming, Vin opened his eyes and stared around.
Chris quickly wiped Vin's blood off his hands on his shirt and moved forward so Vin could see him. "Vin..it's Chris. I'm here." Reaching for Vin's arm as it moved, Chris took it and held it close to his chest. "You've been shot. Nathan and the paramedics are gonna take care of you. We're waiting for the helicopter. I've got you. Hold on tight." The medics nodded to Chris and motioned for him to keep talking.
Before he could say more, he saw Vin's lips move. "Chris?...Chris.." Vin's voice was a moan and Chris leaned down to hear him better.
"It's ok, cowboy. Just hang tight." Chris raised his voice as he heard the approach of the returning helicopter.
"Chris...please, don't....don't wanna die...so...so much pain....ah...." Vin twisted his head as Nathan repositioned his hand. "Help.....please.....Chris...." Vin's eyes rolled upward as he lost consciousness. Chris reached up and brushed the sweat soaked hair off his forehead.
"I won't leave you. You're gonna be ok." Chris leaned down and spoke into the sharpshooter's ear. Not knowing if Vin could hear him, he continued to hold Vin's hand and quietly stroke his hair.
The medics moved quickly placing Vin on a backboard and putting several more bags of IV fluids aside for the trip. Strapping the wounded man in tightly, Nathan and Chris joined them in taking Vin to the chopper. The pilot had pulled forward the extra pilot seat of the Bell Long Ranger making it possible for Vin's backboard to fit.
With Nathan holding pressure, and Vin clutching Chris' hand tightly despite his unconscious state, the medics decided one of them could manage the fluids and oxygen. Chris nodded his head gratefully when they announced their decision.
Jane watched with horror as the man who had saved her life was loaded aboard the helicopter. Just minutes ago, he had been a very handsome kind man whose strong arms had given her comfort. Now he was a deadly pale victim of the same men who had terrorized her. Watching the trail of blood being left by his body, she buried her head in Josiah's chest and began to sob quietly.
Lifting off quickly, the pilot circled and headed his helicopter toward Denver. Having already called into the trauma center, he signaled the medic to give them an update on Vin when he had cleared the hillside.
Josiah helped Jane to the back of the ambulance and sat with her until her sobbing was under control. "I'm sorry. This ...I...he's so young. Is he gonna die?" Jane looked at Josiah with a tear streaked face. Josiah shook his head and fought back tears that were trying to form. One of the deputies carried all their ATF equipment and placed it in the back of the ambulance with Josiah. Josiah saw Vin's gun case and took it in his hands, resting it in his lap. Stroking the leather, Josiah leaned his head back and closed his eyes in a silent prayer as the ambulance pulled out and began the long ride back to Denver.
The medic was working frantically to keep fluids flowing in both of Vin's IV's. With Nathan's hand controlling the bleeding, he had been able to bring Vin's blood pressure up to a near normal level. The young sharpshooter hadn't stirred and for that the medic was grateful. The pain from the wound and Nathan's hand pressing inside it was extreme and the medic knew even if Vin was awake, his fragile vital signs would have prevented him from giving Vin anything for the pain. The lean blonde agent was constantly talking and reassuring the wounded man, and that was all any of them could do till they got to the hospital.
The trauma team was waiting on the landing pad as the skids of the copter touched down. Quickly transferring Vin to a stretcher, they moved him quickly into their level 1 trauma room.
Instructing Nathan to keep his hand in place, the surgeon and ER team swiftly cut all Vin's clothes away and placed two units of type 0-neg blood in a rapid infuser.
"Ok, I don't want to waste a lot of time here." Looking at Nathan, the surgeon continued. "Ok, when I tell you I want you to slip your hand away and let me see." Gathering suction and a set of vascular clamps, he nodded to Nathan and watched as blood began to pour out of the wound once Nathan's hand loosened it's grip.
"Damn, big bleeder. Probably the splenic artery. Ok, while I'm working I want another two units of blood and call OR three and tell them we are on our way. This needs to be fixed now." Taking the steel clamp, the doctor clipped the offending vessel and packed the wound full of gauze. Vin's body moved and tried to turn away from the newly inflicted pain. Wincing for Vin, the surgeon asked. "He got enough of a blood pressure to give him anything for pain?"
The anesthesiologist shook his head. "Systolic pressure's in the 80's and my oxygen saturation's are only 90% on 100% rebreather mask. Do I have time to tube him down here before we move him upstairs? He's getting more labored with his breathing and is gonna arrest on me soon. I'm surprised the medics didn't have to tube him in the field."
"Get him tubed here while they set up the room." The surgeon continued monitoring the bleeding while around him Vin was prepared for surgery. Looking at Chris who still held Vin's hand, he said. "You family?"
Chris shook his head. "He's got no family. He's an ATF agent. I'm his boss; he's part of our special Ops team. We're his family." Looking at Vin, Chris wanted to cry at the pale transparent features he saw there. Watching the anaesthesiologist insert a breathing tube into Vin's mouth and down his throat. Biting his lower lip, he felt a huge emptiness form inside his gut. Nathan saw the look on Chris' face and came forward to place his hand on Chris' shoulder. Chris grabbed Nathan's hand and held on to it as Vin still clutched tightly his other hand.
"Sir? We're gonna have to move him to surgery now." One of the trauma nurses touched Chris' arm and looked into his face. "We'll take good care of him. Let him know you're gonna be waiting for him when he wakes up." Chris gave her a questioning look, but she motioned toward Vin and Chris stood up and leaned over the sharpshooter.
"Vin, it's Chris. The doctors and nurses are gonna take real good care of you now. I'm gonna be waiting for you. Want to see those bright blue eyes looking at me when I see you next. Take care. I love you." Chris whispered the last part quietly making sure it was for Vin only. He moved a strand of hair back in place before moving away to stand by Nathan.
Both men watched as Vin was moved quickly to the elevator and taken to the OR.
It was then that Chris became aware of his appearance. Looking down at his hands, he saw that Vin's blood was everywhere. Nathan looked about the same. Chris was appalled that Vin could bleed so much so quickly. He was looking around for a place to wash up when one of the nurses came up to both men.
"Here. You both look like you need a change of clothes. Can't have your friend seeing you all messy when he wakes up." Handing them each a set of scrubs, she pointed toward the ER staff lounge. "There's a shower in the locker room. I'll show you to the OR waiting room when you're ready." Nathan thanked her and lead Chris off to change.
Upstairs in the OR, Vin lay heavily draped in surgical sheets while the surgeon finished scrubbing. His long hair was covered in a blue cap and his eyes taped shut against the dry air of the operating theater. His breathing now being supplied by a machine, his chest rose and fell with regular movements. A surgical resident was studying x-rays of Vin's abdomen and chest, looking for any bullets that hadn't gone through him. Finding one, he marked it and the corresponding area on Vin's body with dark ink.
"Mary, we're gonna need the exploratory lap set up in addition to the splenic tray. Dr. Warner's probably gonna want to make a curved incision to get to this bleeder so make sure we have plenty of # 15 blades?" Turning to the anesthelogist, he asked. "How many units of blood do we have ready?"
"He's got four units of O-negative in the ER and I've given him two units of A-positive up here. His last two blood counts were holding ok and his blood pressure has stabilized since Warner clamped that splenic artery. I'll probably end up giving him a couple more when you guys remove his spleen. I've got six on stand-by." He looked up as Dr. Warner made his way into the room.
Approaching the table, he looked down at Vin and nodded to the anesthelogist. "His color is better. You ok with his vitals?" Getting a nod from him, Warner turned to the OR crew and said. "OK, everyone ready? Then let's get to work. I'm sure this young man has better things to do than spend time in the hospital." Taking the scalpel from the nurse, he began to make his first incision.
Chris paced the waiting room while Nathan finished talking on his cell phone. "Josiah says he and the girl are about fifteen minutes away. Sure am glad we had that helicopter." Sitting down he continued to watch Chris walk back and forth.
"Yeah." Chris was only half listening to Nathan. He couldn't believe that just this morning he had awoken to Vin curled up next to him; using his chest as a pillow. Vin often sought out Chris in the middle of the night while still asleep. Seeking the warmth and security of his arms. He felt a chill pass down his spine at the thought of not having the young sharpshooter next to him upon waking. He couldn't loose Vin now.....not when he had finally found the happiness he needed in his life.
Suddenly exhausted, Chris sank down onto the sofa next to Nathan. Feeling Nathan's hand on his knee, he turned his head and gave the healer a small smile. "He's gonna be ok, Nathan. I know it." Please God, Chris prayed, don't make me a liar.
Two hours later, Josiah shook a sleeping Chris Larabee. Chris woke with a start, staring up into the preacher's face. "Doc's here. Wants to talk to ya about Vin." Chris sat up quickly looking around Josiah at the trauma surgeon standing in the doorway.
"I'm Dr. Warner. I don't think we got properly introduced in the ER. Your friend is going to be fine. He'll be sick for a few days, but he should make a complete recovery." He paused as he saw the blonde agent in front of him let out his breath and tears start to form in the man's eyes. Giving Chris some space, he moved over and poured himself a cup of coffee. Leaning up against the counter he continued. "We had to take out his spleen and there was some slight damage to the splenic ligament, but he can live without the spleen and the ligament will heal. I'm gonna have him spend the night on a ventilator ...with a breathing tube in...in the intensive care unit, just to give his body a chance to rest. We'll take out the breathing tube in the morning and probably move him to a room in the afternoon."
Chris wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Vin hates that breathing tube. He's had one in before. He fought it pretty badly." Nathan nodded in agreement as the doctor took in the information.
"Well, then why don't we have one of you at the bedside tonight so he will feel more secure? Can you do that?" Dr. Warner stood up finishing his coffee. When he saw Chris nodding his head, he smiled. "All right then, I'll tell his nurse and she'll come and get you when Vin gets to his room. The OR crew is bringing him down and then the nurses will need a few minutes to get him settled. Don't be too impatient. You're gonna be the ones who have to deal with him at home while he's recovering."
Josiah smiled as Nathan laughed out loud. "Doctor you have no idea. Vin is not your ideal patient...not by a long shot." Chris shook the doctor's hand as he left. Walking to the two men, he reached out and all three men stood holding on to each other quietly for a few minutes.
Josiah broke the silence. "OK, well I'm gonna get in touch with Ezra, J.D. and Buck and fill them in. Nathan? Do you have Miss Nettie's phone number on you?" Chris listened to his friends talk as he watched the doors to the ICU. A team of nurses and doctors still dressed in surgical scrubs, rounded the corner and quickly moved a stretcher through the doors. Chris knew it was Vin. Be patient he told himself. Vin was going to be fine. There were going to be more mornings of finding Vin snuggled beside him. Many more, if Chris had his way.
FOUR
It was another hour before Chris and Nathan could see Vin. Approaching his bed, Nathan held back allowing Chris to be first. Vin was turned slightly on his right side; bare chested, the dressing from his gunshot wound covered completely his middle section under his rib cage and disappeared underneath the sheets that covered his legs. The breathing tube was securely taped in place and a lubricant on his eyes made the lashes seem darker against his pale face.Chris noticed the unit of blood that was slowly infusing into Vin's arm and stopped short of the bed afraid to go closer. Not wanting to disturb Vin or any of the lines and tubes attached to him, Chris stood and tried to imagine the lively shy lover he knew instead of this pale wounded man before him.
"It's ok." Chris jumped at the nurse's voice. "He's still sedated from the OR. It won't disturb him if you touch him." Taking Chris' hand in her own, she led him to the bedside and placed Chris' hand on Vin's arm. Feeling the warmth of Vin's flesh under his hand, Chris nodded his thanks to the nurse. He stared at Vin's face and began to gently rub Vin's arm with his thumb. It was a gesture, Chris had used before when Vin was feeling down. It had now become a comfort thing between them. It was the only thing Chris could think to do for him now. He didn't notice Nathan smiling in the doorway to the cubical. Nodding to himself, Nathan left the two friends alone.
+ + + + + + +
Vin was sure if he opened his eyes, the bad dream he was having would go away. Heavy pressure and a burning pain crawled deep in his side. Something sticky was keeping him from opening his eyes. Voices seemed to float above his head. It was making him angry. If he could just open his eyes, the dream and the pain would go away. He wanted to let whoever was there know he couldn't open his eyes. But he could talk either. And he wanted his face washed. He was so tired and he hurt so bad. Why couldn't the dream end? It seemed such a simple request. He moved his mouth to speak and his dream ended.
Chris saw Vin's eye lashes flutter. At the same time the nurse saw his heart rate and blood pressure increase on his monitor. Getting some morphine from the medicine room, she slipped into the room behind Vin's friend, she whispered in the man's ear. "Talk to him. Let him hear your voice. Tell him everything will be OK." Looking at her questioningly, Chris watched her nod toward Vin as she added the morphine to Vin's IV. Leaning over so Vin could hear, Chris spoke. "Vin. It's Chris. I told you I wouldn't leave you. Don't be scared. You're in the hospital. You were shot but you're gonna be all right." Chris looked at Vin closely for any reaction. Noticing none, he continued. "You've got that breathing tube in again. So you can't talk. Remember how it was last time? Remember how it helped not to move your tongue?"
Chris thought he saw Vin move his head. "Vin? Do you understand? Nod your head if you do." Chris saw another slight nod as the breathing tube moved and Vin gagged. "Easy, cowboy. Just lay still. It's gonna be ok." Chris felt Vin relax as the morphine began to work. Leaning over he stroked Vin's cheek lightly, sighing deeply he settled in for a long watch.
A soft feeling of pleasure washed through Vin's body. Someone was stroking his cheek...talking to him quietly. Chris! It was Chris. He was safe. No matter what happened in his dream, Chris would be there to help him. Letting himself give in to the pain medication, Vin felt a warm cloth soothingly wash his face.
It was a long night. Vin would awaken and fight the tube at first. But with Chris' help after several hours, the nurse was able to take it out and Vin fell into a peaceful sleep. Watching Vin breath softly with the oxygen mask on his face, Chris realized how very tired he was. It didn't take much pushing from the nurse to get him to take a pillow and blanket and fall asleep on the waiting room couch.
Ezra and Josiah peaked in on Vin before going to the waiting room. They had seen Chris in an exhausted sleep and didn't want to wake him. Checking with the ICU nurse, they went to Vin's bed. Vin was resting on new linen with a freshly shaved face and the oxygen mask removed in favor of a nasal cannula. He looked not much older than JD in his drug induced sleep; both men reminding themselves that Vin's maturity often gave a mistaken idea he was older.
Entering the room quietly, Vin nevertheless opening his eyes at the sound of footsteps. Focusing carefully he quickly made out the giant form of Josiah. The other figure was still a mystery.
Ezra could see the confusion on Vin's face and spoke. "It's Ezra, Vin. How are you feeling?" Easing past Josiah, he placed his hand gently on Vin's arm. Feeling Vin flinch, Ezra eased the pressure of his hand and asked. "Do you want your nurse? Do you need more pain medication?" Ezra was turning to go and get his nurse when he heard Vin speak.
"Ez it's ok. They've been giving me stuff. It's like my whole body is torn apart inside." Vin's voice was a hoarse whisper. "Can't even take a deep breath without it bringing tears to my eyes." In answer, Vin took several short breaths that lead to a coughing fit. Grabbing a small pillow close to his stomach, Vin moaned and closed his eyes. "Ah...hmmmm."
Vin's nurse appeared at his side and pressed a small button on his wrist. Watching carefully, she listened to his chest as the sharpshooter's breathing eased and he released the grip on his pillow. Looking at Ezra and Josiah, she said. "This is his pain medication. He can give it to himself when ever he begins to hurt. It regulated so he can't overdose himself, but he seems to have this idea that being macho is a better idea. Any idea where he got that one? You all feel free to push this button if you think he needs it." She laughed as placed a spoonful of ice at Vin's lips. He took them greedily without opening his eyes.
"Let's see, Vin? The 'I'm fine' Vin who spent two days walking around with the torn ligaments in his ankle after that hiking accident before he hurt so bad he let Chris drag him off to the doctor? That would be our Vin." Josiah quietly laughed.
"It didn't hurt less I walked on it." They heard Vin mumble. Still with his eyes closed, he smiled slightly at the memory. "Can I have some more ice?" Ezra got the nod from his nurse and spooned another mouthful for Vin.
After Vin fell asleep, both men made their way out to the waiting room. Chris was sitting up eating Krispi Kremes and coffee Buck and JD had produced. Sitting down, Josiah and Ezra helped themselves to the same. "How's Vin?" JD asked before anyone else could get the words out.
"Looks pretty good all things considered. He's still pretty painful but he made a small joke. So that's a good sign." Josiah helped himself to a second donut.
Chris rose and groaned as he stretched and placed his hands on his aching back. "Damn. That place was the last place I should have slept last night."
"Excellent observation. Then I would advise the use of your own mattress tonight." Ezra held his coffee up in a toast to Chris following it with a smile. "One of us will make plans to attend Vincent over night."
Chris started to protest when Nathan spoke up. "Ezra's right. You spend the day helping him out. Buck and JD there's football on this evening. How about you sit and watch it with Vin this evening.."
+ + + + + + +
"And I will watch our young sharpshooter tonight. I'm planning on an extended nap this afternoon anyway." Ezra selected another plain donut, eating it in small bites. "Been trying to finish this biography ...I'll be up all night reading it anyway."
"Sounds like you guys have it all planned out. Who's watching the office. We've got reports and updates.." Chris started but was cut off by Josiah.
"Nathan and I are taking care of that this afternoon. Call you if we have any problems. We'll bring stuff by for you to see when we come see junior later." Josiah stood up and gathered his jacket. " There's the bag from your office, Chris. We'll see you later. Take good care of him." Josiah shook hands with Chris and walked out with Nathan toward the exit.
Chris grimaced and stood reaching for his bag. "We're just gonna slip in and see Vin. We won't wake him, ok?" Buck looked at Chris for approval.
"Yeah, go ahead. Tell him I'll be in after I shower.. if he's awake." Chris smiled and made his way toward the showers kept for overnight visitors.
Buck and JD slipped quietly into Vin's room. Seeing that he was soundly asleep but looking much better than they had expected, JD tied the giant Panda balloon to his side rail. Looking back at a smiling Buck, JD straightened the covers over Vin's legs before he moved away. "Chris said not to touch." Buck admonished.
"It was messy." JD protested in a whisper. Buck's mouth dropped as he laughed silently at his roommate who had never made his own bed as long as they had lived together. Punching JD on the arm, they made there way out the ICU doors.
Vin opened his eyes. Expecting to see an IV pole, he saw instead large black and white eyes. Very large eyes. Black and white..floating in front of him. The wavyness was making him nauseated. Batting it out of the way, he leaned over and threw up the contents of his stomach in the basin at his side. The nausea had started earlier; combined with the pain in his side, Vin was miserable. Now there was this black and white wavy thing. The heaving caused his side to cramp and he lay back his head exhausted. Trying to reach for the button to give himself some pain medication, Vin's hand was covered by another one.
Gently lifting Vin's hand, Chris pushed the medication button giving Vin some morphine to ease his pain. Leaning out he motioned to Vin's nurse, who was already coming toward his cubical with linen. "He threw up and was trying to give himself some medicine. I did it instead, is that ok?"
"Sure. He's been sick to his stomach since early this morning. All that surgery around his stomach as well as the medications....it was just a matter of time. We're gonna change his anti-nausea medication and see if it will help him out." Beginning to run bath water, Vin's nurse turned to Chris. "I'm Peggy. You're Chris, right? Well, since you're here want to help me clean him up a little?" Surprised by the offer, Chris quickly nodded. Peggy laughed and pointed to the panda. "Why don't we move Mr Panda until Vin is feeling better. Bobbing things are not what he wants to see I'm sure." Laughing Chris untied the balloon. Taking the washcloth from Peggy, Chris began to tenderly wash Vin's face.
FIVE
Vin slept on and off through the morning and early afternoon. The new medicine was helping his stomach, but nothing took away all the pain. He was dreading each hour as it passed. He knew they were coming at any time to make him get up in a chair. Pretending he was asleep had kept them at bay...so far. Chris had gone to make a phone call to work and left the TV on. Coming around the corner, Peggy and a patient care technician came into the room."Reckon it's time." Vin said quietly as Peggy pulled a chair up to his bed.
"Fraid so, Vin. Give yourself some pain medication while we get things ready, ok?"
Peggy helped the tech arrange Vin's IV and monitoring lines. "Ok, got your pillow?"
Vin nodded his head reluctantly and reached for his splinting pillow. Sighing, he followed their instructions rolling over on his right side and letting them help him sit upright.
Vin took a sharp breath through his teeth trying not to cry out. "Sorry Vin. Just pull that pillow against you as tight as you can. Dizzy?" Vin nodded his head up and down fighting down the bile that was gathering at the back of his throat. "Ok, we'll wait. Just sit here on the side of the bed, we've got you." Not chancing moving his body anymore than he had to, Vin closed his eyes and let his head rest against Peggy's arm.
Chris came around the corner of the room. Vin sat shakily on the bed, holding on to the pillow as if his life depended on it. Staying out of sight, he watched as Vin was eased into a chair, and sat trying not to put pressure on his left side. Giving up he moaned and let his head fall back on the headrest. Peggy arranged pillows for his arms and gave him a small round pad. "Here's your call light. Let's try to go for at least 45 minutes, ok?" Vin only nodded his head in answer.
"How's he doing?" Chris asked as Peggy came out of the cubical.
"He's really sore. They had to do a lot of manipulating during surgery. There's bruising inside that incision as well as outside. I'm gonna see about getting him some additional pain medication. He's not getting very much relief from what's ordered. You gonna sit with him?" Peggy asked. Chris nodded 'yes' and she handed him an emesis basin. "You may need this. He's really miserable. I'm gonna check with Dr. Anderson, the resident."
+ + + + + + +
Chris stepped into the room quietly.
"If you don't have a gun to put me out of my misery then go away." Vin mumbled his eyes still closed against the spinning room.
"Can't. Nurse took it from me. Knew I was gonna try and help you out. She's too quick." Chris eased himself down on Vin's bed settling beside the sharpshooter. "Feeling pretty bad, Vin?"
"Never felt so much pain Chris. Can't cut free from it. Nothing helps." Vin opened his eyes slowly looking up at the ceiling. Slowly lowering them, he soon saw Chris next to him. Tears filled his eyes, and he tried to move his hand to wipe them away. "Damn! Ah...Chris?..." Vin bent over and threw up just as Chris thrust the basin under his chin. Chris reached around and held Vin by the shoulders as he continued to retch.. Finishing Vin sagged exhausted against Chris' chest. Chris removed the basin and placed his other hand on Vin's sweat soaked hair. Stroking it gently, he waited until the young agent stopped heaving and his breathing slowed.
An hour later found Vin sound asleep in his bed. He was totally exhausted after sitting up for an hour and had to be helped back to bed from the chair. Peggy added a second medication for pain, and Chris could see that Vin's body was finally completely relaxed. He didn't even wake up when they transferred him still in his bed from the ICU to a room on the floor. Chris continued to watch Vin sleep, as he called the others with an update.
JD and Buck spent the evening with Chris and Vin watching a football game. JD brought Vin another balloon, a Micky Mouse that hung on a stick. "As long as it doesn't weave back and forth." Vin said in thanks as Buck placed it on the bedside table.
Vin was getting some relief from the pain with the addition of the second medication, but was still weak. A second time up in the chair after JD and Buck went home, had Vin on shaky legs but willing to do anything that would get him out of the hospital sooner.
Chris met Josiah as he walked down the hallway. "Thought Ezra was going to spend the night?"
"He was. But Team 4 need him for most of the afternoon to finish preparing testimony on their case. He didn't leave the office until after eight. He was on his way over here, but I sent him home instead. I caught a nap on your couch this afternoon at the office." Josiah said stopping to talk.
"You did.." Chris smiled. "Well, thanks for coming. Vin will probably sleep most of the night. He's exhausted from all the exercise they had him do and he's running a fever. Docs added some more antibiotics. They say this is normal. I'm gonna stop by the office in the morning and pick up my laptop. Tell Vin I'll be a bit late, ok?"
"No problem, drive carefully, Chris. You look tired." Chris smiled and nodded as he slapped Josiah on the arm.
Josiah opened the door quietly and saw Vin on his side sleeping soundly. Moving the large recliner to the window, Josiah took out his book and a small snap-on reading light and settled in. Sue, Vin's nurse, woke him at midnight to give him some medications and take his vital signs. Vin had fallen asleep while she took his blood pressure. Smiling at Josiah, she walked to his side.
"He still have a temperature?" Josiah said putting down his book.
"Yes, it's down some. It'll take a day or so for the antibiotics to work. Till then he'll probably have a fever till then. You staying all night?" Sue said as she primped and straightened Vin's sheet before leaving.
"Yes, just in case he wakes and needs something." Returning to his book, Josiah began to read. Sue smiled and left; closing the door quietly.
"Josiah? That you?" Josiah heard Vin's voice calling. Rising he pulled up a chair so Vin could see his face.
"How ya doing, Vin? Nurse said your fever is down a bit." Josiah poured some ice water and offered it to Vin.
Drinking thirstily, Vin smiled his thanks and put his head back on the pillow. "Thought Ezra was staying."
"He was down at 4's going over testimony all day. I on the other hand, caught a nap on Chris' office couch. So here I am." Josiah got up and soaked a washcloth under the cold water faucet. Bringing it back, he folded it neatly and placed it on Vin's forehead.
Vin sighed and reached up pressing the cool cloth against his cheeks. "Doc says maybe I can go home this weekend if my temperature goes down." Closing his eyes he let the washcloth fall across them.
"That'd be great, Vin. Just don't get your hopes up to much....let's do this one day at a time, ok?" When Vin didn't answer, Josiah guessed he was sleeping and picked up his book again to read.
"Josiah? Can you answer me something?" Vin removed the cloth from his face, and looked at the preacher.
"Sure Vin. If I can..." Josiah had an idea what Vin wanted to know but waited patiently for the young man to tell him.
"Do you think me killing those men was the only way to help that lady?" Vin asked the question shyly. Almost as if he was not sure of the question himself. "I mean maybe somebody else could have gotten them out in the open for something besides a head shot. You know...??"
"Are you asking me if taking a head shot on both men was the right way to handle that situation? I'll tell you...yes, I do. If you're asking me if I consider it killing them...I'm gonna tell you, I don't." Leaning close to the bed, Josiah studied Vin's face. "That's what you're really asking, isn't it?"
Vin looked at Josiah, and nodded. "I never knew the first time I took a gun in my hand...I would end up having to decide whether a man lives or dies...I ...I've always been good at shooting and stuff...never gave it much thought....In the Rangers..they just told you when and where to shoot...most was so far away you never knew your target..."
Josiah waited patiently, wanting Vin to put his feelings in his own words. Pouring Vin some water, Josiah gave it to him and sat back.
"Never killed anyone bounty hunting..." Vin said..then laughed softly. "There were a couple times I wished I had. Went after some mean people with heavy rewards on their heads. The money, I was after that at first...but it...it got old. Walking into that alley and meeting Chris was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got this job and you guys..." Vin paused looking at Josiah.
"But?" Josiah let the word hang in the air. "But it still comes down to you being the man with the target in his sights. Calling the shot."
Vin drank more water; sipping on it slowly. "No one can see it through my eyes except me. Even with Chris spotting, it's still my call...I just don't know if I have the judgement to keep doing this job."
Josiah took the cup from Vin and set it aside. Picking up his book, he pressed it into Vin's hands. "See that woman?" Vin nodded looking at the fuzzy picture of a woman dressed in a nun's habit on the cover of a small book. Handing it back, Vin questioned Josiah with his eyes.
"That woman was Edith Stein. Church made her a saint couple years ago. She was born into a Jewish family in Poland then Germany..but when she was 31 she became a Christian and became a nun. Then World War II came about and she was taken from her convent and placed in Auschwitz..where she died. Died because of what she was born with....not what she had become. She wrote something while she was in the concentration camp." Picking up the book, Josiah found the place he wanted. " 'The only thing a person needs to keep on doing is try to live his chosen vocation with an ever increasing honesty and purity'. Understand?"
"Sort of.." Vin eased himself over on his side. "No, I mean not all of it."
"You were born with the gifts that make you a great marksman. You became a law enforcement agent through training and your God given gifts. No one else has the ability to do your job with the same compassion as you do. You can't change other people. You can only change yourself. There are some mean people in the world Vin. Evil men. It takes a good man doing his job honestly and sincerely to make a difference. You were the difference in that girl living or dying. That's all you could do that day. And you did it the right way." Josiah set the book on the bedside table as he noticed Vin's eyelids closing. Reaching down, he began to pull up Vin's blankets.
Feeling Vin's hand on his arm, Josiah looked down and saw him still awake. "You got a great way with words, Josiah. Gonna see things differently. Got a clearer picture now. Thanks."
Placing Vin's hand gently under the covers, Josiah whispered. "Any time son, anytime."
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