ATF Universe
To be honest, I was glad Vin would be away for a few hours. It would give me the time I needed to set up the 'atmosphere' for that night. I also wanted to take care of his present and set that up as well. I would keep it till last, not exactly sure what his reaction would be.I took a shower and changed into black jeans and a red Texas Bib shirt. I had seen one on some buckskin clad sharpshooter on a TV western and pictured Vin wearing one. I bought one for myself to keep the vision alive. Besides that sharpshooter's partner wore blue ones and when I had bought one in that color and worn it the next day Vin had whistled his appreciation. Score one for Bib shirts. The whistle still rings in my ear from time to time. Awww, memories. Vin hadn't seen the red one, yet. Wondered what his reaction would be?
I slid my black cowboy boots on and took a look at the finished product. Something was missing. Oh, yeah. The cologne. Vin had bought me a bottle of Stetson for my birthday as a joke regarding 'cowboys'. (He'd given me his 'real' present later that night.) But the scent turned him on inspite of himself and I didn't mind the way it smelled either, so it became S.O.P. in the house when I wanted to please him. He always let me know he appreciated that as well. Sometimes it was hard to believe our age difference was over a decade apart. Vin always makes me feel young...and sexy. I doubt I'll ever go through a mid-life crises with him around. No need to. As I had noticed when he mounted the drawing on the fireplace wall...he keeps me centered. It's been a year now since we first realized how we felt about each other. He lives with me, works with me, sleeps with me...and still that fire is alive and well at the Larabee/Tanner ranch. Sometimes it's a bonfire, sometimes it's a campfire, sometimes it's glowing embers, still warm and soothing, but it never goes out, leaving us cold with nothing but ashes to remember. The embers will burn hot until one of us rekindle the flame and set the fire roaring again. As Vin taught me...live in the moment, for the fire has a will of its own. The wind may come to change the direction of the flame's dance, and that can't be controlled by either of us, but as long as that heat still penetrates our hearts, we'll be nice and warm for a long time to come. I intend for that long time to be just that...a very long time.
I slapped the Stetson on my face and turned to the set up in the bedroom. I smiled in immense satisfaction, hoping Vin would be pleased. I wanted this night etched in his memory. I knew it would be branded in mine.
I went downstairs, closing the door behind me. Vin would have to stay out of there for the first part of that night. I didn't want him to stumble upon my gift too soon. I hoped what he had planned didn't require him entering the bedroom. If it did, I would go up there for him. I hurried downstairs and started the dinner.
I had spent a few hours preparing the sauces and the side dishes the night before and after I had come home I had placed the Porter House Steak and potatoes on to cook, while I went upstairs to get ready. I looked in on them now and smiled. It was looking and smelling good. I put the champagne on ice and set it on the table. A red tablecloth adorned the dining table. Matching cloth napkins rolled up and wrapped in wooden holders laid across each black china dish. The champagne glasses were set and the golden flat ware was laid out according to etiquette. The white candles were set in the middle of the pine centerpiece, ready to be lit. I put the small box of matches next to them.
I decided some music would be in order and I went to find something that would fit the mood for that night. I found nothing, wondering what Vin would like to hear, so I decided to let him supply the mood music. I checked the clock. Five thirty. A half hour more before the deadline. I was actually starting to get nervous. I checked and double-checked everything.
Then a knock was heard. I walked to the door and saw a piece of paper lying on the tile entryway. I bent down and picked it up. It simply said, "Cowboy" on it. The calligraphy was obviously Ezra's doing and I smiled. Evidently, Ezra knew some of what was going on and decided to help in any way he could. I opened the letter and found more calligraphy writing...
Read this letter entirely. Follow the instructions exactly. When you have completed you will knock on the front door three times to indicate you are ready, then you will sit down in the middle of the couch and wait. Number one: Pull the couch away from the wall and set it to where it facesthe fireplace, leaving room on the floor for this special task you have assigned me.
Number two: Go to the CD collection and find 'Skid Row'. Place the CD into the player and set the track indicator to number ten. Do not start playing the music. Leave that to me.
Number three: Set and light candles around the living room in places where they cannot be knocked over. When you have lit them, turn out all the lights. When the candles have been lit, you may then knock on the door and await the arrival of your present.
Your Tracker
I couldn't help laughing with delight. This was not what I had expected, but I was thrilled to see the results of that creative mind working. I did as asked and it took about ten minutes. I pulled out all the candles I knew would be within reach of the downstairs. Vin and I had made love countless times amidst candlelight. I always kept a supply on hand. Large candles, different scented candles, anything that either of us thought the other would like. We had accumulated quite a collection.
I set them around the living room, keeping them well out of contact range. I knew what he would be doing and I anticipated the danger, heading it off at the pass.
The CD player was ready, set at track ten. I went to the door and knocked loudly three times, then I went to sit down. I gazed up at the picture and smiled, thinking I would have to do another one after tonight. Within a minute I felt a cold steel on my throat and I gasped. "Hold still," Vin's voice was low, commanding. I was tempted to turn, but I wanted him to have the control for this. I did as I was told. "You're on my ship now, Mate. You'll do as I say or I'll make you walk the plank. Understood?"
The cold steel point at my neck hindered the act of nodding. I merely whispered. "Yes."
"Good. Close your eyes until I tell you to open them."
I closed my eyes. I heard the sound of his movement as he circled the couch and came to stand before me. The steel touched my face and I felt the sharpness of it. I wasn't afraid, knowing Vin would never hurt me.
"When you are told to open your eyes, you will do so slowly. You will not react. You will gaze upon me as the slave you are and you will not make a sound. Is that clear?"
I couldn't help but marvel at the way he mastered the words. Gone was the lazy Texas accent. I wondered just what he was dressed like, but even though from the words he had used I could hazard a guess, I was still dying of curiosity. I quickly nodded.
The sharp coldness was removed and his voice came to me. "Open your eyes."
I did as asked and opened my eyes slowly, keeping my gaze down. I saw leather boots. I began to scale my gaze upward. I saw the boots reach his thighs and the cuffs rolled down to the knees. He wore skintight black breeches, which hug to every curve of his legs and hips. The tightness left little to the imagination where his crotch was concerned, but he looked perfectly natural within its confines. A golden sash was wrapped around his waist, the ends dangling to the left. A white ruffled shirt graced his torso, opened to reveal his chest. I lifted my eyes to see the golden earring hanging from his right ear and the eye patch over his left eye. A black, satin bandana was wrapped around his head. His hands were encased in scarlet, suede gloves and in his right hand he held a saber. I recognized it as one of Ezra's collection, which he kept a display of on his study wall. My mouth must have dropped down to the floor. I was looking at a vision. Vin made a damn sexy pirate. His normally scruffy beard had even been trimmed down to that swashbuckler style. I would have to remember to thank Ezra for his helping Vin. He had done a very classy job.
Vin smiled down at me, seductive and alluring. "Care to ride the Seven Seas with me, Mate?"
I grinned. "Course heading, Captain?"
He smiled and expertly placed the saber back into the sheath at his hip. "Your instructions will be given as we sail. Any attempt at mutiny will result in your immediate court martial. I won't tolerate those who question my command." As he spoke he undid the belt holding the saber and handed the prop to me. I placed it under the couch at my feet.
"God forbid such thoughts to enter my mind, Captain."
He grinned, pleased. "Sit back then...and enjoy the ride."
He strutted over to the CD player and hit the start button.
The moment the music started I recognized the song and smiled. It was one of Vin's favorites in depicting our relationship. He began to move, as the soft guitar chords filled the air and the lead singer to Skid Row began to sing...
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain...Vin moved to me, lowering his head and he began his dance. I was transfixed by the graceful movements that promised more to be revealed. His arms slowly lifted, bending his elbows, reaching his hands to behind his head.
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you...He looked at me as he slowly removed the eye patch and flung it to the side.
All the tears you cry, they call my name...He then pointed his arms out at me in supplication.
When you needed me...I came through...He pulled his arms to his chest and threw his head back with the feeling of the powerful music. Then the music softened again and Vin fell to his knees, moving, swaying with the rhythm of the song.
Paint a picture of the days gone by...He waved his arm back, gesturing to the picture above the fireplace, then he focused on me and began to rub his left arm with his right hand, starting from the wrist and working his way up to his shoulder.
When love went blind, you would make me see...As his right hand moved over his face he grabbed a finger of the glove and ripped the glove off his hand, sending it flying to the side with his mouth. I was mesmerized at his ability to get into the feel of what he was doing...no inhibitions...no shyness. He was giving me all he had and holding nothing back. He then reached up with both hands and slowly pulled the left glove off. He tossed it aside with less ferocity than the right one. The lace at the wrist of his sleeves added to the sexiness of the shirt and all I wanted was to take that shirt off of him myself, a little at a time, kissing him as I did so.
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes...He began to crawl over to me like a cat, lithe and swaying and his seductive face held my attention, then his head swung from side to side and the bandana flew off.
So that I knew that you were there for me...His hair flew around his head and I just wanted to reach out and grab it in my hands, to pull him toward me in a kiss, but that would be mutiny. I refused to disobey my captain.
He jumped to his feet and began to sway his hips in motion to the song, seductively jutting out his chest and wrapping his arms around his head.
Time after time...no else for me...He began to really dance now, his legs and arms moving in exaggerated sweeps, as if he had choreographed the whole thing. My heart raced! The combination of the powerful music with Vin's strength added an excitement to my limbs that tore through me in a wave of intense heat and pleasure. Vin was truly a vision and I drank in the sight as if quenching my thirsty soul.
Remember yesterday...
Walking hand in hand...
Love letters in the sand...
I remember you!
Through the sleepless nights...
Through every endless day...
I wanna hear you say...
I remember you!Then the music softened as the singer began to moan his own pleasure. Vin took in the sound and made it his own on the physical plane. He slowly wrapped his arms around himself and felt the music as it filled him. He reached the collar of his shirt and the song eased into the softer part of the melody as Vin slowly pulled the shirt from his shoulders and turned sideways, letting my eyes feast on his bareness.
We spent the summer with the top rolled down...Vin slowly pulled the shirt from his pants as the collar hung down over one shoulder.
Wished ever after it would be like this...He quickly removed the shirt and tossed it away, then stepped up to me and reached out his hand to brush my face.
You said 'I love you, Babe' without a sound...He climbed onto me, straddling my hips, resting his bent knees on each side of me. He then put both of his hands to my face. Then he kissed me passionately.
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss...
Live for your smile...
And die for your kiss.He pulled himself away, jumping from the couch like a lion. I wanted him to touch me more, but I had no intention of interfering with this dance. He sat on the floor and laid on his back as he lifted first one leg into the air and gracefully removed that boot, then he did the same with the other...all the while keeping in time with the music. How he did it was beyond me, but he knew exactly how to move, making the act of removing boots as seductive as he could. He succeeded. All the while the chorus played, adding strength and intense heat to the display. I found myself breathing heavy as every move, every turn; every toss of his head made me want him more and more.
Remember yesterday...
Walking hand in hand...
Love letters in the sand...
I remember you.
Through the sleepless nights...
Through every endless day...
I wanna hear you say...
I remember you!Then the song changed in mid stream and became a hard testament to the words matching our lives. Vin quickly removed the sash from around his waist.
We've had our share of hard times,
But that's the price we pay.
And through it all we kept the promise that we made...He came up to me and wrapped the sash around my neck pulling me forward, kissing me again.
I swear you'll never be lonely...He left the sash where it was and as the bridge of the song poured out, he began his dance again. Each hard sound, each drum beat, his body kept in time with them all. Where in the hell had he kept this talent hidden? It seeped out of him like a dam, as if he had never been given the opportunity to show his ability to anyone who would stop and take notice. Well, I was taking notice. Believe me.
The song began to slow and the soft guitar chords filled the air once more.
Vin began to remove his breeches in a slow and feeling manner, his face reflecting the music that had filled him.
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain...He lowered himself to the floor as his nakedness unveiled itself.
Washed away a dream of you...He pulled the pants the rest of the way off and he slowly, but in time with the music, got up and walked around the couch. I followed him with my eyes, until I saw his arms encircle my neck, and he placed his head next to mine.
But nothing else could ever take you away...He climbed over the back of the couch and lithely straddled me again.
Cause you'll always be my dream come true! Baby, darlin'! I love you!!!The chorus hit again and with its intensity Vin pulled away once more. No clothes, not one thread, just his muscular body moving and dancing before me in a show I would never forget.
God, he was so beautiful and he was doing this for me.
When the final strings of the guitar were plucked he was on the floor his left leg bent and an arm stretched out over his head. He closed his eyes and it was a picture perfect ending.
He slowly rolled over to look at me. The way he posed was like a cat on the prowl. One leg stretched out, the other bent close to his body, his hands laying on the carpet, palms flat, his torso half lowered to the ground, half lifted as if he was going to pounce. The next song on the CD began and he jumped to his feet, quick as a flash. He walked over to the CD player and flicked off the power. He then turned his head down and to the side, looking at me with those bedroom eyes of his. He slowly strutted over to me, holding out his hand. "Happy Anniversary, cowboy."
I took his hand and got to my feet, wrapping my arms around him. "Vin, my God! Do you know what you just did for me?"
"I kinda got a feelin'." He reached down and began to rub my crotch. I gasped as I buried my face into his neck. "Damn, boy, you've got all the moves!"
"I take it ya' liked it?"
I pulled away to move my mouth to his again. As I kissed him I felt that aching stirring within my groin and it was all I could do to not take him then and there. Here he was, naked and in my arms, sweat glistening off his skin in the candlelight. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and his powerful arms embracing me close. I could tell he wanted me at that moment as well, but I had to put a halt to this. It wasn't time yet. Not yet. I let our tongues explore each other and then he pulled away and worked his lips down my neck. He breathed in deeply and moaned. "God, you smell so damn good," he growled. "Love that scent on you!"
I swallowed hard, trying to maintain some control over my body. "Vin?"
"Hmmm?" he wasn't stopping...and though I really didn't want him, too, I sure as heck wanted the thoughts running through my mind at that moment to be the last ones for the evening. That meant two other things I wanted to do first. I pulled him to me and held him close. "You've always liked that song for us," I said.
"Uh-huh," he said as he continued to nip at my neck and earlobe. I hitched a breath as he breathed against my skin. "What do you think it means? 'I remember you'?"
Vin slowly pulled away and gazed into my eyes. "It's like when we first met. Never laid eyes on each other before, but somehow...somehow we knew each other. I think...I remember you, because it's like we've met each other before...in dreams, or somethin' like that."
I smiled as I reached up and brushed my hand over his face. "I loved it, Vin. It was more than I had ever envisioned. You're gonna have to dance for me more often."
"Always danced...when no one was lookin'. Felt the need to move, to feel the music. Never danced fer anyone before. When ya' asked me to do it fer ya'...I knew exactly what I wanted to do."
I kissed his forehead and then joined my forehead with his. We held each other close like that for a few seconds, just breathing in each other. "You were so beautiful, Vin. Like a cat, full of grace and confidence. I'd never seen you move so freely. Never."
"Let's keep this our secret, cowboy, all right? It's a part of me no one else will ever know but you."
I grinned. I liked that idea just fine. "So...you'll do it for me again?"
He let out a thoughtful hum. "Maybe not as glittery as tonight, but definitely as sexy as I can make it."
"Believe me, Vin, you do sexy very...very...well."
"So do you, Chris. Like the shirt. Can I have one?"
I chuckled. "How about dinner first?"
Vin took in a whiff. "Smells good. And I did work up an appetite. Reckon I'll just have to wait fer desert, then?" he asked playfully as he nipped my chin.
I grinned. "The night is far from over, tracker. It's my turn to please you, and I have many things planned to do just that."
He looked down at his naked body. "Have to get dressed first."
"Well, you can't go upstairs yet."
He looked at me, curious. "I can't? Why not?"
Then the thought hit me and I furrowed a brow, my heart beating with concern. "You didn't come in through the bedroom terrace, did you?"
"Naw, through the sliding door in the back. Why?"
I let out a breath of relief. "Your present is up there. I didn't want you to see it yet."
"But, ya' gave me my present all ready," he said turning to look over his shoulder at the picture over the fireplace.
"No, Vin, that was the first half. I have the second half of your present upstairs."
He leaned in closer and grabbed my crotch again. "This what ya' talkin' about?" he asked with a sly grin.
"That's part of it, yeah," I said, trying to keep my breathing under control as he rubbed me. I decided I better take control of this situation before my Pirate made me his personal slave for the duration of the voyage. "Seas are getting stormy, Captain. And if I don't get back into the kitchen, your meal will burn. I really don't feel like walking the plank tonight, sir. If you will allow me to serve you?"
He gave up and removed his hand. "Fine, but what am I gonna do about clothes?"
"I like the vision of you as a pirate. Can you put the outfit back on for dinner?"
"Everything?"
I turned thoughtful. "Just the shirt, the pants and those boots. The rest we can use later."
He grinned as he slowly pulled the sash off of my neck. "Seems I ain't the only one who's creative around here, huh, Larabee?"
I grinned back. "I've got a few ideas, Tanner. Just a few."
Vin took a seat at the table as I began to serve up the food. He pulled the champagne from the ice bucket and started pouring it into our glasses.I sat beside him and noticed how he was smiling. "Pleased with yourself are ya'?" I asked playfully, as I set the steak and potato on his plate. He lifted the champagne glass and waggled his eyebrows. "Pleased I got such a great response," he replied as he took a swallow of the sparkling liquid.
I handed him the butter and a roll of bread. I leaned over and kissed him. The champagne tasted so good on our tongues. I started kissing him along his cheek and jaw, flicking my tongue over his golden hoop earring. "Where'd ya' get the outfit?" I whispered.
"Bought the pants and shirt. Ezra had the other stuff from a costume party a few years ago. Don't worry, none, cowboy. He only knows I needed the stuff, I didn't exactly tell him why."
"Not worried," I replied, as I worked my lips and tongue down his neck. "He shave your face?"
"Yeah. Took real good care of me, made sure I wasn't nicked or nothin'."
"I'll have to thank him for it all." My lips reached his chest and worked their way down further until I found a hardened nipple. I licked it, teasingly. He gasped. "Chris, Um...I really want ya' right now, and if'n ya' keep that up I'm gonna ferget the steak and rip into ya'. And with my stomach growlin' the way it is, I don't think it would be the right sound effect fer what we have in mind."
I lifted my eyes to him and smiled. "You're right."
I started to pull away when he grabbed my shirt and pulled me to him. "Now...I didn't say I wanted ya' to stop completely. Am I still your captain?"
I grinned and kissed him once more. "Of everything I am."
He pushed his lips to mine and our tongues swirled around. I felt his moistness and I couldn't pull him into me anywhere near enough, not without hurting him. I would never hurt my pirate captain. I was loyal to the end, well, at least until we got to bed. After that it would be 'Man overboard!' A whiff of the steak broke my focus and I pulled away, licking my lips as I did so. "Food."
He sighed and nodded. "Food. Don't want it to get cold."
We both worked on our meals. I picked up Vin's fork and cut a piece of the steak. I lifted it to his mouth and he sensuously pulled the meat from the fork. He closed his eyes as the taste struck home. "Whatever ya' did with those spices, Larabee, should be considered lethal to the palate."
"Too much?"
"Hell, no. Just right. I'm dyin' of ecstasy, here."
"Then open wide, Captain. Another shot is on the way."
We sat there and fed each other, casually slipping into the routine as if we did it every night. We'd sip our champagne and kiss each other. The dinner took over an hour. Not that we were complaining, mind you.
I couldn't get over how sexy he looked in that outfit. I filed the vision away in my memory, all ready coming up with a new idea for a portrait. Vin didn't know what he unleashed inside of me, but all these fantasy scenes were sprouting up in my mind and I knew I would have a wealth of material for the next six months at least. If I drew something every damn day!
As if he knew what I was thinking, (sometimes our thoughts are so interconnected it scares me) he said, "I'd like a portrait of us together."
I looked at him, surprised. "You would?"
"Think ya' can do one of yourself and me?"
I took a sip of champagne as I pondered this. "Well, I ain't that good at drawing myself, Vin...but..." I thought about it some more. "I'd like to think I could at least give it a try."
He smiled as he stuck the last forkful of baked potato into my mouth.
When we looked down at our empty plates, we both smiled. "Ready for your present?" I asked, my heart beating with anticipation. I was truly in love with the work I had done and I wanted so desperately for Vin to love it, as well. I was fearful, though, that he would be too embarrassed.
He wiped his mouth with the napkin and took another sip of champagne. "Eager and waitin'."
I took in a deep breath. "Where's that sash of yours?"
"On the couch, why?"
I took his hand and he stood from his chair. "Come with me, Captain. Wind has changed, adjusting sails to compensate."
He grinned. "You're really getting' into this pirate scenario, ain't ya'?"
"What can I say, Vin? You're too sexy for your shirt."
He snorted as I led him to the couch and picked up the golden sash. I turned to him. "Trust me?"
He knew what I was going to do and he closed his eyes. "With all I am," he replied.
I gently wrapped the sash around his eyes, tying it carefully behind his head, so as not to pull his hair. "Wait here. Just have to get something." I hurried to the table where I laid the small box of matches. Pocketing them I went back to Vin and took both of his hands into mine. "I love you, Vin. So very much. I want to show you how much. Need anything from down here? Once we go upstairs, we're going to stay there the rest of the night."
"Ya' do what ya' have to do, cowboy. Take what ya' want. I've all ready got what I need," he pointed to his heart. "Right here."
"Then give me a minute to blow out the candles." I leaned forward and kissed him softly, putting my hand over his heart as I did so, showing him in that slight gesture that his heart was in my hands that night and I would protect it with all of mine.
He stood there, blindfolded, patiently waiting for me to finish my tasks of shutting down the bottom floor and making sure we were locked up for the night. I took the saber from where I had put it on the floor by the couch and carefully rested it in the umbrella holder by the front door. I wanted to be sure to return it to Ezra the next time we went in to work. I then found the eye patch and the bandana and put them in my pocket. I had an idea and I wanted them nearby, but Vin would let me know if my idea would sink or swim. "Do you want more champagne, Vin?"
"Nope. Just wanna get drunk on you."
I smiled. "Same here, tracker. Same here." I put the champagne in the refrigerator and went to blow out the candles from the centerpiece. It was pitch black now, but the white of Vin's shirt called to me. I reached his side and took his hands. "I'll lead you upstairs, Vin. Hold on."
He gripped my hands and I could see the white of his teeth as he flashed a smile. I felt a surge of love flow through me. "Just one moment, Vin." I put my arms around him and held him tight against me. "Ya' all right?" he whispered.
"Just fine. Wanted to show you how much."
"I know." He kissed my neck.
I held him for a long moment and he caressed my back, slowly, offering his love in return. When I finally pulled away, I quickly wiped the forming tears from my eyes. "Let's go," I said, and my voice was choked.
The moment I had waited so long for had arrived. I could only hope that Vin would be pleased. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and reached down to take his hands. "It's time." I began to lead him through the darkness, up the stairs.
We took the steps slowly, giving him time to feel his way. When we reached the top I kissed his temple. "Just a few more feet."
He squeezed my hand. "Take as much time as ya' want, Chris."
I led him at a slow walk, hugging him to my side, brushing my hand over his shoulder. When we reached the bedroom door I stopped him and put my hands to his face. "I need to do something before I can let you inside. Can you wait here for a minute or two?"
He nodded.
I kissed him again, then opened the door. Entering the room I closed the door and turned to the display in the corner of the room. I walked over and pulled out the box of matches. I began to light the candles. I then pulled the cover off of the picture and stepped back. The candles surrounded the picture, bathing it in a warm glow. The effect was exactly what I had hoped for. I smiled and put the box of matches on the table. I took in another nervous breath and went back to the door. I opened it and Vin tilted his head, questioningly. I took his hands and gently pulled him into the room.
Closing the door behind us, I gently turned him and walked him to the display. "Keep your eyes closed when I remove the blindfold," I instructed.
"I will."
I carefully untied the sash and removed it, tossing it onto the bed. I put my hands to his shoulders and stood at just the right angle to see his expression. "What you are about to see, Vin, is a tribute. To you. I felt every stroke of the pen and pencil as I worked on this. I want you to know that the one downstairs is the way I see you in life. This is the way I see you in love."
I heard him take in a slight breath. "Chris?"
"Open your eyes, Vin. Look at how I see you."
He slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times to adjust his vision, then what he saw made him freeze. He gazed at the portrait with a mixture of surprise and shock. "My God, Chris," he whispered. He slowly walked closer to the portrait and his eyes swept over the images. I stepped up to his side. "You all right?"
He said nothing in response as he stared. "When..." he cleared his throat. "When did ya' work on this one?"
"Whenever I could. It took me six months, give or take a week."
The canvas was larger than the "In Life" portrait. It was three feet by three feet. I tried to cover all the area, leaving only enough space for the frame and matte. The frame was mahogany and the matte color was a hunter green. The glass reflected the candle light and Vin leaned in closer to gaze more intently at the images. "Ya' draw these by memory?"
"As many as I could. I drew this one the night of that horrible accident. When you asked me what I was doing awake and I said I'd been watching you sleep. I sketched you while you slept. Some of these I did in that manner, but most of them are from memory. Some I created in my mind, never having seen you in those positions."
He reached out, careful not to touch the glass, as he gazed at each image one at a time.
A collage of poses, as with the "In Life" portrait. The first one was him shirtless and leaning his shoulder against our terrace doorway. His arms crossed in front of him and he was staring at an angle out at the morning sun, a look of peace on his face. I had awoken one morning to find him standing there like that, just drinking in the light of the new morning. He seemed lost in the quiet. This was the one that made me start wanting to draw again. My first thought had been, 'I wonder if I could sketch him and make him come alive on canvas?' After that I could not get the image out of my mind and I had gone to the art store to stock up on supplies. This one had been my first attempt. I remember the feeling of excitement as I sketched him from memory, how the pencil just flowed and the desire to capture him in art manifested like it was second nature to me. I remember when it was done, how I had stood there and stared at it, transfixed, very much like what Vin was doing now. I had trembled with both joy and pleasure that my own creative flow had not been permanently put to sleep. Vin had indeed resurrected the desire to draw and from that moment on, whenever I had some time to myself, I went out to the shed and drew...and drew...and drew. I had an entire portfolio of sketches. I must have done about a hundred of them in the weeks that followed. It was then that I knew what I wanted to give Vin for our anniversary.
He reached out to the next image, as if the act itself could connect with the drawings. This one was the one of him sleeping, that night. Lying on his side, calm and safe. "I didn't even sense ya' were sketchin'. Ya' must have been so...quiet," he whispered.
I put my temple to his, keeping my hands on his shoulders, squeezing them as he continued to look. The next one made him take in a breath. It was a torso shot from the back, showing just enough of his hips to reveal him naked. His long hair reaching his shoulders, sweeping over the top of his shoulder blades. He was standing at the same terrace window, his left arm stretched out, his palm resting on the wall next to the terrace door. His head was turned ever so slightly as if he was sensing someone coming up from behind him and he was acknowledging their presence. His eyes were cast downward, his chin parallel to his right shoulder. The muscles of his back were what I wanted to capture here as well as his face, cast in the dimming light of dusk through the window. His right arm, bent at the elbow, his right hand, palm up, as if in invitation for that person to grab hold. A subtle move, a relaxed pose, giving permission for the person behind to step into his sacred space. I had drawn this one from memory as well. I remember that night as clearly as what I had drawn on canvas. I had taken his hand and he had pulled my arm around his waist, holding it there as I stood behind him and began to make love to him as the sunset bathed us with it's orange and purple hues. Vin seemed to know by instinct exactly how to transpose nature's effects into an aphrodisiac. He never ceased to amaze me, whether it was making love at a terrace window during a setting sun, or making love out in a field of green grass during a rain storm, or even making love on the roof after a few hours of star-gazing. He always seemed to know when to strike. It drove me wild.
Vin continued his study of the picture. The next one was of him stretched out naked on the ground, leaning back against a tree. His arms were crossed behind his head and he was gazing off into the distance. The leg facing us was bent and the farther leg was stretched out. He grinned. "Don't recall strikin' that pose, Larabee," he said with a slight chuckle. I chuckled with him. "I can fantasize, can't I?"
The next one was of him in the shower, the way I've seen him many times as we shower together. His head tilting back and the water and steam rolling over his chest and body. His eyes were closed as his hands were combing through his soaked hair. I drew him just to above his groin, capturing every muscle, his washboard stomach, his hard chest.
The next one underneath the shower image, was another back shot, with the same angle of face as the one before, only this time he was slowly removing a dress shirt. It hung half down from his shoulders. Again the look of invitation was there.
The one below that was of him on the pillow as I gazed down at him. His face looking up with a pleased expression in his eyes. He ran his fingers over the image, careful not to touch the glass. "Something's missin'," he spoke softly.
I looked closer. "What, Vin?"
He turned to me and rested his forehead against my temple. "You ain't there."
I understood what he was trying to tell me. "I am there, Vin. Look again at your eyes. I'm there. See how you're looking at me?"
He took another look and studied the face more closely. I leaned closer to his ear and whispered. "I see my soul in your eyes, when you look at me like that. Can you see me now?"
He gazed at the face for a long while, searching the depth of feeling I had spent hours trying to capture. He hitched another breath and turned to me, his eyes filling with tears. "It's there!" he said in a hoarse whisper. "I can see you!"
I put my hand to his face, caressing the tears away from that cheek with my thumb. "Every picture has my soul in it, Vin. Because you are my soul. I'm in every sketch I do of you. Always remember that."
He nodded. His eyes were wide with understanding. He put his hand over mine and gripped it hard as he turned to look at the rest of the picture.
The other image was of him from the other night, after we had gone to visit Bill Matthews' family. After we had made love in front of the fireplace. The fire in the background, his lying on his side facing me, looking at me as if he never wanted to tear his eyes away. The sadness of that day filtered into his gaze, but the peace of knowing we had each other was there as well.
These images, once more, circled a greater one. The main one. The one I've seen in my mind when I've looked at Vin with his deep appreciation for the outdoors. How many times he will just stand there in the open fields and take in a deep breath, closing his eyes, reveling in the scents and feel of nature around him. It's as if he's drawing in life from the act itself, as if he's becoming one with the ground and the air. I took that feeling of seeing him like that and transferred it into this very intimate interpretation.
I drew him sitting in a field, naked, his left leg crossed under his right, which circled the front of his left. His hands are clasped around the right knee. His back is straight and his face is lifted slightly to the breeze that blows his hair like a banner around his head. His eyes are closed and there is such peaceful joy in that expression that you can almost feel the breeze and smell the green grass and wild flowers.
Vin did not bother to hide his tears as he took in every image I had drawn. He turned to me and buried his face into my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist. "My God, Chris," he whispered. "How...how can I tell ya' what I'm feelin' right now?"
I held him close and kissed his head. "You're doing fine. I'm feeling everything inside of you right now."
He let out a slight chuckle. "I thought the first one was wonderful. I was content with just that one. But this...ya' outdid yourself, cowboy."
I closed my eyes as I hugged him tighter against me. I could not reply, not with words. I lifted his face with my fingers and kissed away the tears that streamed down his cheeks. I felt his fingers roam over my chest and he began to undo the buttons of my shirt. I gently eased the pirate shirt from his shoulders kissing them as I did so. I pulled it from his pants and it fell away from his body like a sheet revealing the statue underneath. We sank into each other's mouths as we continued to explore each other's chests. My hands caressed his chest, gently rubbing his nipples. He arched his head back as I moved my lips down and began to suck his right nipple and then his left. I reached down and rubbed his hardened bulge, and he threw his head back, gasping. He wrapped his arms around my head, running his fingers through my hair, moaning as I explored his body with my fingers. I worked my mouth back up to his neck and sucked at the area just under his left ear. He gasped again and clutched my back with his fingers. I wrapped my arms around his waist and tightened my hold. He jumped and wrapped his legs around mine. I buried my face against his chest and ran my tongue over his collarbone. I felt his hardness press into my abdomen and I felt my groin burn with heat. I carried him to the bed and slowly set him down. Kneeling in front of him I pulled off his boots one at a time. He rested on his elbows and arched his head back. The seductive pose he struck made my whole body scream with desire. His sexiness captivated me and I found myself entertaining thoughts of fantasies long denied. I wanted him helpless. I wanted to bring him to the brink under the sheer will of my power over him. I wanted to fondle him until he screamed for mercy. I wanted to feel him against me, begging for more. I wanted to be the hunter with him as my prey. I wanted total submission from him, but... I would not take it if he refused. I would never take it if he refused. He was the epitome of my being, the depth of my existence. My love far outweighed my lust, though at times I wondered if they weren't equal in the battle that sometimes erupted within me. He was younger, yes. He was my subordinate at work, yes. He was my fantasy, my longing, my source of comfort and release from the strain of living. But I would never force my will onto him. In bed we were equals. In our love, we were equals. I wanted complete control over him for this one moment in our lives...but he would have to give it to me. One question, one desire voiced and one word would put it to sleep within me. If Vin said, 'No'.
When I had removed his boots, he ran his right foot against my arm. "Take it off," he whispered. I removed the red shirt slowly, sensing his eyes on my chest and arms. He sat up and rubbed his hands over my chest. Leaning forward he sucked my neck with longing and I rolled my head back, moaning as his breath caressed my skin. He slowly pulled back and leaned on his elbows again. Seductive, inviting.
I smiled and quickly removed my cowboy boots and then got to my knees before him. I ran my hands over his thighs. Lust was filling me as I gazed down at his excitement. I cupped his bulge in my hand and started squeezing. He threw his head back, moaning loudly. "Don't stop," he gasped. My other hand went to his inner thighs and began to caress the area close to the groin. He squirmed and writhed under my touch and I felt my jeans tighten around my own hardening. The time had come to ask and I stood, walking away, bracing myself for the possible refusal.
He looked up at me with concern. "Chris?"
I turned from him and lowered my head. What I was about to ask from him was something neither of us had done before. I didn't want to scare him. I didn't want him to be afraid of me because of what I wanted. He quickly crawled off the bed and turned me to face him, taking my arms. "What is it?"
"I don't want to scare you," I voiced out loud.
"Scare me? How could ya' scare me?"
I lifted my eyes, carefully. "I want you, Vin, but in a different way tonight."
He studied my eyes and saw the question raging within me. He sighed and slowly traced a finger over my chest, contemplating the unspoken request. "I've thought about it, Chris. Many times. Wonderin' if I could submit myself to ya' like that. The thought of being bound terrifies me. I won't deny that."
"I won't do it, then," I said quickly, trying to reassure. "I'd rather die than ask you to do something that will cause you fear."
He quickly wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around him, wondering if I had managed to betray his trust in me, even if just a little. He voiced the answer without me even having to ask. "Cowboy, do you know how much I trust ya'?"
The thought of his losing his trust in me was a fear I held deep inside. I shook as I held him. "Tell me," I whispered.
"Ya' want me tied up and gagged? Ya' want me to be completely helpless, to let ya' have your way with me? Ya' really want that? I trust ya' enough to say 'yes'. To be honest, Chris, I've had my fantasies about it, too."
I sighed and my shaking eased as I pulled him tighter to me, burying my face into his neck. "I would never hurt you, tracker. Never."
"I know." He pulled back just enough to lock eyes with me. "But in this act of submission, I ask you the same thing. I want ya' under my control, too. Will ya' trust me in the same way?"
I looked into those eyes, the blue hidden now by the dark of night, with only the candlelight glow around us. "It's a night for a voyage of discovery, my Captain," I replied as I brushed my fingers lightly over his brow and cheek. "And trust is our compass."
He smiled at me. "Now the question remains...who does who first?"
I grinned as I leaned in and claimed his mouth with mine. He groaned as our lips tangled together and I pulled him tightly to me. Our hardened bulges rubbed together, and I pressed against him with a powerful thrust. When our lips separated Vin looked up at me with breathlessness. "You considerin' mutiny, Mate?"
"You can court martial me, later, Captain, but right now I have a ship I want to take over."
"You realize I'll have to fight you for this ship."
I shook my head. "I'm taking you prisoner, Captain. I suggest you stand down."
He sighed. "Well, fightin' is so borin' anyway. Rather see what ya' have in mind fer me."
I pulled his arms around and held them by the wrists behind his back. I gently walked forward, pushing him backward to the bed. I was a visual person and, believe me...I had visions racing through my head. I picked up the sash that lay on the bed and I pulled out the bandana from my pocket. I smiled at Vin. "Let the mutiny begin."
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